To think the breast is best strategy is all wrong

[SheepOrWine]

Just back from the health visitor clinic where I was at in front of an entire wall (no exaggeration) telling me why breast is best. Apparently for one young woman it was the best decision she EVER made. This morning I read about another study which "proves" that breast is best (presumably because the many, many existing studies on this are not enough and they needed another one?) At my NHS antenatal breastfeeding class, more than half of the allocated time was dedicated to the benefits of breastfeeding.

Has anyone ever been persuaded to breastfeed by a poster or a news article? Is there anyone out there who seriously has not yet heard the "breast is best" message? Does the NHS just think women are a bit stupid but if you tell them to do something enough times they will do it?

Wouldn't this money be better spent on helping those women who want to breastfeed to do so successfully? Three months ago I was on a postnatal ward with DD where I received conflicting and often incorrect breastfeeding advice. Every time I buzzed for support a frazzled looking HCA or midwife would come and glance at the latch say "yeah that's fine" and walk off. I asked four times to see the breastfeeding advisor but she never arrived. I was discharged without anyone observing a feed.

8 weeks on I gave up breastfeeding as I just had enough of all the various problems I was having with it and for which I was completely unprepared. Before I had DD the posters were useless as like most women, I already knew I wanted to try to breastfeed. And now, post-breastfeeding, all these posters do is just make me feel guilty. What a waste of money.

YANBU.

The guilt that women are made to feel if they can't breastfeed is ridiculous. Failure. Bad mother. Your child will be stunted. Won't develop proper immune system.

I (and DS) suffered through six weeks of breastfeeding. In hindsight, he was constantly hungry and it never really worked. I had mastitis, thrush and terrible cracked nipples. The pain was WORSE than labour contractions.

I felt so guilty.

I was determined to do 6 months. I did six weeks and it was awful.

If it works for you, then do it. If it doesn't then that's fine. It's not a failure.

Mumsnet were planning to do a campaign about postnatal wards. I hope they do, because breastfeeding support is one of a myriad of ways in which PN wards fail women.

Yes - posters don't work, more support would be better.

And recognizing when a baby is losing weight and that breastfeeding isn't working should be on the curriculum too, because a lot of these professionals seem that hell bent on breastfeeding that they don't notice a child failing to thrive!!

I completely agree OP. I really wanted to breastfeed, went to the antenatal sessions, knew all the benefits, etc.

Two weeks in I was up all night crying because I couldn't get my DS to latch properly and had let him ruin my nipples in an attempt to feed, and was in agony. I tried phoning all the helplines but they were all closed or I was unable to get through when I was most desperate.

The only support locally was a helpline run by peer supporters, and when I asked about getting some help I was told I could attend a support group in six days time, in an area without a bus route, when I was still struggling to get out of the house.

When I gave DS some formula because I didn't know what else to do, I sought further support and it was like I'd told them I'd poisoned my baby. I gave up breastfeeding then because I was too ashamed to speak to anybody else to get help. I had nobody else to ask as none of my friends have children and all of the older women in my family were of the generation that didn't breastfeed.

I cried about stopping breastfeeding with guilt and sadness every day for months.

As most women start out breastfeeding, I think some of the money should be redirected to lactation consultants who can do home visits. It would only need to be paid for for one generation, as if women managed to do it successfully breastfeeding would be normalised and there'd be mums and aunties and friends who would be able to help.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2812877/

(It's a US article, but pretty much sums up what all the studies done on this say)

jelly - sorry I was putting my Dd to bed.....who funnily enough was formula fed from 4 months old, so don't think I'm one of these militant, anti-formula breast feeders.
Formula has its place and it's anyone's right to choose that option for their child - I made that choice after a huge struggle with tongue-tie, repeated mastitis and spending a million hours attached to a breast pump, but replacing breastmilk with anything else comes with increased risks of certain things (as outlined in the article) which a lot of people - myself included at the time - are not aware of. After all, formula was originally invented as a medicine, designed to keep babies alive whose mothers didn't have the physical ability to breastfeed.
If I'd have received the support I needed and asked for, I would never have given my Dd formula, but I felt as though I had no choice because the only advice on breastfeeding I ever got was the "breast is best and here is why" while I was pregnant. As soon as my Dd was born I was just left to it and I didn't know where to go for advice on how to fix the problems we were having. Less money should be spent on the breast is best common sense message, and more time and money put into education and support.

My favourite bf exaggeration is the one in which you are told it will save money. Actually, to me it doesn't as I am so bloody tired and more hungry and thirsty than usual so the mythical money is spent on more food and drink. Maybe that's just me though

Yoko: They aren't really facts. Plenty of people successfully breast feed without sticking to your rather long list!

maybe feeding lying down helps with my dodgy back! But I know it's not for everyone.

Blackbird as a fellow mum to a prem (26 weeker) can I just say that nurse was a tosser - pay her no mind she shouldn't be a neonatal nurse with that attitude. Period.

Also feeding bras are fucking extortionate if you have massive tits and they are also vile

trifle it's a short list and it's not facts, it's a list of tips to help establish breastfeeding. I wish I'd known them when DS1 had to go back into hospital with jaundice, because I hadn't fed him often enough!

golden it also assumes that your baby will latch and feed perfectly from day one and you won't need to shell out on nipple shields, breast pumps, lactation consultants, private tongue tie referrals etc etc...

"I think a more informative, nuanced approach is needed, perhaps a leaflet/poster stating some facts/tips...e.g. in order to successfully breastfeed babies need to:"

Yoko, in that case your language wasn't chosen very well.

YANBU! I 100% agree. I BF my DD for 10 months. The first 3 were hell on earth. She just could not latch. It took over 6 weeks for her to figure it out. I was lucky, my local hospital had good support and the NHS breastfeeding clinics were a lifesaver. If those hadn't existed I would have stopped.
I distinctly remember waiting almost 2 hours to be seen at the first clinic. Those horrible posters staring down at me making me feel SO guilty and like such a shitty mum because I couldn't do this most natural and easy thing for my baby. Obviously I was hormonal and in hindsight I know that, but I definitely remember those posters upsetting me.
Like I said I was lucky (and ridiculously stubborn) but I still think the support could be better. I know not everyone has access to as much support as I had.
I also thing that letting women go blind into breastfeeding is ridiculous. You just get told it's easy and shouldn't hurt. It was anything but and having some understanding of the difficulties you can face (before giving birth) would have been helpful too! I think a lot of people stop not only for lack of support but also because reality is NOTHING like their expectations.

trifle what has offended you about what I wrote? My post isn't anti-FF, it's not having a go at anyone, it's just a possible solution to the issue that women aren't being encouraged to breastfeed by the 'breast is best' message.

I actually happen to be in bed with mastitis at the moment so I know it's not all a bed of roses.

I broadly agree with the OP - targeted support would be better for women than big promotional campaigns, but it's a little odd to state that we are all aware of the benefits, so what do we need the posters for...we wouldn't know about the benefits if they hadn't been publicised in the first place. And there are still pockets of the U.K. where very few women have breastfed in the last few generations - it takes time for health promotion messages to get through. I have been there with feeling like a failure, so I know it can be heart breaking to see some of this stuff after you've reluctantly turned to formula, but that doesn't make the information untrue, and someone out there may need it.

I think the current campaign is focused to much on telling women to breastfeed and not enough on helping them to.

The NCT tried to recruit my friend, she had BF 5 children without much incident. She told them it was stupid to recruit someone who had not had a problem and they should recruit the people who had the worst experiences.

I had trouble, I sought help from everyone, NCT, breast feeding cafe, support worker - waste of time, the issue was to do with medication. So many people told me it was cluster feeding, growth spurt..... They really dont know it all.

My milk dried up but someone DH works with ended up in A&E with a starving baby. The consultant on duty was furious and said it was a regular occurance. That sometimes it's pushed so hard that no one dares say to stop and they end up seeing them.

I was gutted when I had to stop, but realised quite quickly it was for the best. There is a reason that in the past there was wet nurses, not everyone can do it!

Showme thank you! Hope your LO is doing well.

Amadeus I told myself I wouldn't try to justify it but here I am doing it anyway. I suppose I must be feeling a bit more pressure than I realised.

I would like to add that a lot of posts always say there isn't a lot of support for bf but I think that's not always the case. Its one of those depends where you live lotteries. At a very busy time several midwives came to help me out, including in the wee hours of the morning. A volunteer bf support worker came to my house at least 4 times in the first few weeks and offered more often. I cant fault the service I was offered from nhs and volunteers, and i live in a traditionally deprived area. Sadly not many people were willing to try to bf, the midwifes said, not that I think they have to, but that it's a shame when others here would have liked the support.

Yoko: It doesn't offend me. I just think the main barrier to BF is that many women see it as the more difficult option by far, and your list of what the baby 'needs' to do in order to feed is more of a list of what could be appropriate. Best not to scare the horses.

Sorry you're in bed with mastitis!