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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pick the bigger/nicer house

425 replies

SiriusBlackDeservedBetter · 25/08/2016 21:47

All names/locations have all been changed.

My Great Uncle had no kids and passed away months ago, recently his solicitor got into contact, which was rather suprising as although he had some money, I didn't think I'd get anything at all.

He's left my sister and I a house each, the issue is with the way his Will is written. It states:

'I leave Rose either the Birchwood house or the Maple house to choose from and then Lily may have whichever one has not been chosen'

This means that I get first pick of 2 houses and then my sister can have whichever one I don't pick.

I don't know why he's written it up like that, we both barely saw or even knew him.

My sister and I both have homes of our own, I have a 2 bed house with 1 DC and she has a 3 bed house with 4 DC.

Birchwood House is absolutely lovely, it's 4 beds, a dining room, a massive garden and it's only 20 mins away from our current location.

Whereas Maple House is an hour and a half away, in a rural area, it's a bungalow with 3 beds.

I want to pick Birchwood house and live in it and either sell or rent out our current property, DSis thinks that that would be really selfish of me as she needs the space more and as her kids are older it would be too disruptive to move them any further then our current location, but I think she could sell Maple House and her current house and upgrade and stay in the area, she argues that I could do the same, which is true.

OP posts:
annoyedofnorwich · 26/08/2016 07:58

She'd take the bigger one without a second thought or any offer of money if the will were the other way round, by the sound of it. Point that out to her, perhaps. Then do as the will says.

VioletBlue101 · 26/08/2016 08:01

wills bring out the worst in people, yes the move will be hassle for her but the reality is she just got a whole free house. If I was you I'd take the birchwood. you want to live in it, it's not like you're bulldozing her dream home...

was a bit crappy of your uncle to word it like that, but like you say it could have easily gone the other way and she wouldn't give it up for you to live in the dream home so I think you should just go for it

QuiteLikely5 · 26/08/2016 08:04

And if your sister inherits the other house later on is she going to give you a share of that?

I would pick birch wood and explain your reasons.

If you give her the difference in price and she gets inheritance in the future and does not give you any then your going to be pretty upset??

lottiegarbanzo · 26/08/2016 08:11

This is not material but I'd be curious. When was the will written - did you both have DC then? Also, might you have more DC?

I think you're doing the right thing - living in the house and splitting the profits.

I think your sister is exhibiting very lazy thinking. So she'd move into a four bed house, because it's there. But her family could do with five beds. So in time that will become an issue and she might sell. She can't be bothered to get Maple valued and find out what she could buy locally? Total lack of imagination or enterprise - combined with an expectation that you'll go through the hassle of selling maple and your house and buying something else, while it's too much effort for her! She's just indulging her dreams. Take no notice.

KayTee87 · 26/08/2016 08:11

If it was me I would give her the bigger house as she does need the space more or sell them and split the money. However you do have the right to choose whichever you want.

Original poster
SiriusBlackDeservedBetter · 26/08/2016 08:14

I thinks there's slight confusion on who's inheriting what, so let me try and clear it up.

Great Uncle passed away, 3 houses went to relatives.

He has 2 great Nieces, my sister and I and 1 great Nephew our cousin.

Whereas my sister and I received the houses directly, our cousin's grandmother who's still alive received the house and I'm assuming as he's her only grandchild he'll inherit the home one day.

So DSis will only inherit 1 house not 2

OP posts:
Graceflorrick · 26/08/2016 08:17

Sell them both and split the profits! It isn't worth falling out with your DSIS, is it?

Inertia · 26/08/2016 08:17

As Tater points out, OP has only inherited one house. To fulfil the terms of the will, she has to take just one of the houses, she can't choose to sell both because they won't both be hers.

It would seem more than reasonable to split the difference in value between Birchwood and Maple by sharing proceeds of the sale of your house with your sister.

MrsCampbellBlack · 26/08/2016 08:18

I would just move into Birchwood to be honest and thinking about it may not even give her the difference.

Maybe your dad will leave more to your sister and would she then share it equally? Doesn't sound like it to me.

Original poster
SiriusBlackDeservedBetter · 26/08/2016 08:18

The Will was written 7 years ago, I didn't have kids and wasn't sure we'd have any as we were going through lots of fertility issues, DSis had 3 by then, I'm not sure if we'll expand, it unlikely but maybe one day.

And I do think if 3/4years DSis would sell Birchwood whereas I do think of it as a forever home.

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 26/08/2016 08:20

Btw, had the estate gone through probate yet? There is going to be / will have been a massive inheritance tax bill on this estate. Has that been paid already? If not, how does the will deal with it - what assets are gifted outright, in what order and is the remaining estate large enough to cover the IHT?

If you don't know the answer, it's possible a house might have to be sold to cover tax. Wording and available cash are critical.

bumbleymummy · 26/08/2016 08:22

Glad you've come to a decision. :)

lottiegarbanzo · 26/08/2016 08:23

Sorry, re-reading OP it sounds like it's been through probate and solicitor is now distributing assets.

Cocochoco · 26/08/2016 08:23

I'd do what you want to do - ie live in Birchwood and have it as your forever home. I get all the people saying they'd sell both and split the money but then you'd have to find another house. With moving costs and fees that's a waste of at least £20k and you may not find somewhere as nice. Tossing a coin is stupid - in effect you've already won the coin toss.

Original poster
SiriusBlackDeservedBetter · 26/08/2016 08:25

Sorry if it wasn't clear, It's been through probate, estate covered IHT and now everything is being handed over by a solicitor to everyone on the Will

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 26/08/2016 08:25

Right, so, your uncle made a deliberate decision not to give the bigger house to the sister with more children, at the point of writing the will. So, from his and the will's point of view, number of children is irrelevant.

Trifleorbust · 26/08/2016 08:26

You could offer to set something up so that the financial value was divided equally, but you get to live in Birchwood? For example, Birchwood is placed in both your names, but with a stipulation that you can live there for as long as you want, with proceeds to be divided between you if you ever sell it or between your estates in the event of your deaths, or she could move in if she chose at that point. Then she could sell the Maple house and give you half (or put it in trust for your kids).

Not sure she'll go for this but it's a gesture 😏

M0rven · 26/08/2016 08:26

A relative just died and left me £9k. They left my sister £0.5M.

I have four young children and she has one adult child.

Do you want to guess whether or not my sister has offered to split the £509,000 equally with me ?

FRETGNIKCUF · 26/08/2016 08:28

Is the OP your sister M0rven?

lottiegarbanzo · 26/08/2016 08:29

Agree that buying and selling houses is expensive - stamp duty especially. I would get a really good survey done though, so you know about any repair and maintenance costs you might be facing.

FRETGNIKCUF · 26/08/2016 08:29

Hmmm I've thought about this. Live in Birchwood, sell your own house and give her a bit of the profit? Although isn't this difficult with tax?

Trifleorbust · 26/08/2016 08:31

Morven: God, that must be galling for you. You wouldn't ask her for half, would you?

Pisssssedofff · 26/08/2016 08:37

Morven shouldn't have to ask, it should be an absolute given, don't know what's wrong with people

GrumpyOldBag · 26/08/2016 08:38

Unfortunately wills can sometimes bring out the worst in people.

The number of kids either of you has is irrelevant to the discussion, and is very unlikely to have been a consideration for your uncle.

You should do what the uncle wants, choose the house you want. What you then choose to do with it is up to you.

GrumpyOldBag · 26/08/2016 08:39

Why is it a given that sisters should share legacies equally?

Who knows the full facts?

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