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AIBU?

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Original poster

To pick the bigger/nicer house

425 replies

SiriusBlackDeservedBetter · 25/08/2016 21:47

All names/locations have all been changed.

My Great Uncle had no kids and passed away months ago, recently his solicitor got into contact, which was rather suprising as although he had some money, I didn't think I'd get anything at all.

He's left my sister and I a house each, the issue is with the way his Will is written. It states:

'I leave Rose either the Birchwood house or the Maple house to choose from and then Lily may have whichever one has not been chosen'

This means that I get first pick of 2 houses and then my sister can have whichever one I don't pick.

I don't know why he's written it up like that, we both barely saw or even knew him.

My sister and I both have homes of our own, I have a 2 bed house with 1 DC and she has a 3 bed house with 4 DC.

Birchwood House is absolutely lovely, it's 4 beds, a dining room, a massive garden and it's only 20 mins away from our current location.

Whereas Maple House is an hour and a half away, in a rural area, it's a bungalow with 3 beds.

I want to pick Birchwood house and live in it and either sell or rent out our current property, DSis thinks that that would be really selfish of me as she needs the space more and as her kids are older it would be too disruptive to move them any further then our current location, but I think she could sell Maple House and her current house and upgrade and stay in the area, she argues that I could do the same, which is true.

OP posts:
EarthboundMisfit · 26/08/2016 07:20

This is really tough. Not much help, but I honestly don't know what I would do.

PerpendicularVincent · 26/08/2016 07:20

I like maddening's idea. It's fair and you get the house you want

KingofnightvisionKingofinsight · 26/08/2016 07:21

Your sister is not entitled to the bigger house because she has more kids. That's absurd. She's asked you to not only go against what your uncle's (oddly worded) will states, but also voluntarily give up a much more valuable asset that is rightfully yours. That would not be in your own family's best interests. It's all well and good to keep family harmony, but if you give in on this I think you will end up resenting her for a long time. She's the one who has put you in this position and if she chooses to feel resentful about you accepting what belongs to you, there's nothing you can do about it.

MoreCoffeeNow · 26/08/2016 07:23

Pick Birchwood. You may yet have more DCs.

Helenluvsrob · 26/08/2016 07:24

Choose the house you want and gift your sister the difference in price ?

SickInBedOnTwoChairs · 26/08/2016 07:27

Follow the will to the letter. That's why it's called a will. Do as you wish. Just because your sis has more kids doesn't get her charity status the cheeky cow!

Nofunkingworriesmate · 26/08/2016 07:31

If you take the house you want and that puts you financially better off, find a way to make it fair to your sister, I.e get both valued and compensate her if she is taking the cheaper house ( it would be easy to raise a remortgage to do this)
Or give her some of the rent

Take it from me things like this can turn ugly and ruin relationships. If you are close to your sister it's worth it in long run

sparechange · 26/08/2016 07:32

Sell both and split the proceeds equally. It would be awful to fall out over money, and not what your uncle would wish for. Life is too short.

^^this. A thousand times this

GoldFishFingerz · 26/08/2016 07:33

You've got the right idea. Take birchwood for yourself and give her half the difference in cost between the two houses.

Anyway she needs a 5 bed house really. I'm sure once she's sold both houses and then looking for properties to buy, she will be like a big on mud. She will have her pick of quite a few houses and can choose one that's perfect

Tootsiepops · 26/08/2016 07:33

There's absolutely nothing like money / inheritance to bring out the absolute worst in people. I say that as someone whose entire immediate family died suddenly and unexpectedly.

It makes my heart sore that money and possessions are apparently more important than blood.

Were my brother still alive, we would sell both and spilt the money. That is the ONLY fair thing to do.

I genuinely feel really sad for you both. Whatever happens, I do hope your relationship doesn't suffer as that would be such a shame.

WatchingFromTheWings · 26/08/2016 07:33

Pick the bigger house. The bungalow can be sold by your sister along with the place she has now and the funds should enable her to get a pretty decent place of her choosing.

dazzlingdeborahrose · 26/08/2016 07:36

Wills are not meant to be fair or equitable. They are made to allow to you to state how you want your estate dealt with after your death. OPs uncles wishes are quite clear. Two houses available. OP gets first pick. Her sister gets the other one.
OP, pick Birchwood. You clearly love the house and can see your family having s happy future there. Your sister will get the other house. Free. Gratis. She's not being hard done by. Offer to help her with the sale of these two houses. Offer to help her find s great new house. Offer to help her pack up and move. But do not make your wants and needs subservient to hers. Take the house!!

RandomBlueHat · 26/08/2016 07:37

There is going to be a significant amount of inheritance tax to pay. Is there enough cash in the estate to pay it without selling one of the houses?

OhhBetty · 26/08/2016 07:38

I'd sell and split as it's the only fair way. Otherwise your relationship may change forever. I also wouldn't want to feel like I'd screwed my sister over. (I have a ridiculously guilty conscience)

GoldFishFingerz · 26/08/2016 07:38

Why should you sell the house you love and not follow the will? Your sister should be mature enough to respect the will and your decision. She has had a massive gift already.

Tell her you love the birchwoods character and want to get your kids into x school but you will give her half the difference so she doesn't loose out financially.

elsmokoloco · 26/08/2016 07:39

Have you thought how you might feel if you did end up giving her Birchwood and she later decided later to sell. Also she must be aware that you would be giving up the more expensive property to make her life easier. did she mention reimbursing you in any fashion for the difference in price if she sold her house to live in Birchwood. Sounds like she is using your guilt at getting first dibs.

TaterTots · 26/08/2016 07:40

What people are forgetting is that the OP can't actually decide to sell both houses. She's only inherited one of them. Under the terms of the will she still has to choose one, then her sister inherits the other. The OP would have to agree in advance that she and her sister will both sell up - but this could easily go wrong. What if one house sells within days and the other takes months? What if OP sells the house she really wants to live in in order to be 'fair' to her sister, but then sister decides she wants to live in Maple House after all? OP loses the house she wanted and ends up giving a chunk of her inheritance away into the bargain.

GoldFishFingerz · 26/08/2016 07:40

Both op and her sister own their own houses and have inherited a house.

strawberrypenguin · 26/08/2016 07:41

Take Birchwood and don't offer her any money - she wouldn't if the situation was the other way round.
She is still inheriting a house! She should be able to find a bigger house she likes from the proceeds of it.

MrsCampbellBlack · 26/08/2016 07:43

Well if it were me and my sister - I would try to make it fair. So either sell both houses and split the money or to move into Birchwood but give sister enough money to make it fair.

However what are the values of the houses - if Birchwood is worth say £1m and the bungalow £250k may not be so easy to make it fair. In which case I'd just move into the house you want.

I feel sorry for the cousin who actually visited your cousin though - they must be pretty fed up about the will.

diddl · 26/08/2016 07:43

Presumably what Op's sister would like is a house big enough to live in & still be left with a property to rent out-as Op will be.

coconutpie · 26/08/2016 07:44

Your sister is being a selfish, grabby cow. She was left a HOUSE! unexpectedly and now is pissed off it's not big enough and that it'll take a bit of time to sell? Tough shit! She'll still be able to sell it. The will states you get first choice, not your sister. Pick the house you want - sister will have to get over herself.

coconutpie · 26/08/2016 07:46

I also wouldn't be giving her money. The value of the houses is irrelevant. It's an inheritance, not an equal handout and you can be sure she wouldn't do the same for you.

Original poster
SiriusBlackDeservedBetter · 26/08/2016 07:47

Hey everyone, I know it's a big thread but everyone seems to keep repeating the same thing about giving her the difference and I just wanted to say that I already agreed to do that further up thread.

We'll get the houses valued and then I'll give her the difference, financially we'd be even, she'll be annoyed as she wants the house but she won't be angry/hate me for life but if it does kick up a fuss I may just agree to sell both houses.

I'm not older then her, I think it was just a random whim on his part, he could have just have easily put DSis' name first, although I feel bad for the cousin, the majority of his estate went to 2 of his Carer's, a charity and a massive house went to his elderly sister, who is cousin's grandmother, so perhaps he assumed cousin would inherit through her.

OP posts:
LyndaNotLinda · 26/08/2016 07:47

That is a very good point TaterTots

I also suspect (judging by the way the sister is behaving) that if will had been written with the names swapped round, she would have moved into Birchwood without a backward glance.

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