DP questioning his ex's parenting

[SilveryFoxy]

DP and I have been together for a few years. He has a young child with his ex.

Their relationship was turbulent and eventually broke down due to her violent outbursts towards him.

She has been depressed since they separated although really seemed to be a great mother who was getting help for her issues and turning her life around.

Over the last 6 months she's been out drinking most weekends, been putting photos of herself in her underwear in Facebook and has had a string of boyfriends who all disappear.

No one is judging her for this, more worried as has confided she is really struggling to fit in with her childless younger friends and isn't happy.

DP would like his child to live with us but I feel his would destroy his ex.

I guess this is more of a wwyd than an Aibu......

"What he suggested was having his child for 3 days during the week and his ex having her over the weekends. That way she gets to spend the quality time rather than the day to day slog with her."

And ^definitely" can't go out.......

I agree with izzy

This comes over as less about welfare to me and more about control

He was happy to leave his children with what he considered to be a mentally unstable mother and violent to boot.

Now as noises are being made about a potential move all of a sudden she's a lush.

Shes perfectly entitled to get drunk and have a lie in when the other parent has the dc.

The suggestion of weekday childcare rather than weekend appears like an attempt to control her social life and limit what free time she actually has.

Every other weekend combined with some week days or indeed 50/50 would be far more supportive.

The suggestion of weekday childcare rather than weekend appears like an attempt to control her social life and limit what free time she actually has.

This. I'm a bit sceptical about your DHs motives

I dont think the OP is coming back. I just hope she is asking wonder dad some important questions.

Sounds like she needs support, not for some other woman to swoop in and take her child from her. You and her ex have a secure relationship, perhaps two incomes, a stable home but you sit in judgement of his ex, who likely doesn't have those same securities. I've heard this story sooo many times before. Do t be that woman, please.

@Swearymum83 this thread was two years old. You resurrected it.

I read the whole bloody thread and didn’t notice,

So I did, lol. New to Mumsnet and trying to work it all out.