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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think going to the loo in front of your dh is disgusting!?

269 replies

Piniatapearl · 22/08/2016 22:54

This just came up in conversation with my sister. She thinks it's perfectly normal that her and her dh will have a shit in front of each other whilst the other is showering or brushing their teeth or whatever.

I just think it's really unnecessary! I do have poo issues so is it me being weird or her?

I'm definitely not the poo troll by the way

OP posts:

TheDowagerCuntess · 23/08/2016 05:56

YANBU.

There is something deeply inelegant about downing trow, and backing one out. There are some activities for which you do not need an audience. This is one of them.

A tiny bit of mystique, after all these years together, doesn't go amiss.

headinhands · 23/08/2016 06:08

Wow. How interesting. Am very relaxed about bodily functions with dh, as is he, just not an issue. And it certainly hasn't damaged our sex life. I'm trying hard to see how it could/would.

Eminybob · 23/08/2016 06:12

Our toilet is separate from the bathroom, so it is easier for us not to go in front of one another. That said, it is a tiny tiny room so we often keep the door open for a quick wee.

I'm going to tell you something now that my friend told me that is gross, so if you are of a nervous disposition, look away now.

Friend and her DH have no boundaries from what I can gather. They often have a poo while the other is in the bath etc. (I was staying at her house and she came in to use the loo when I was in the shower ffs!).
Anyway, she told me that she was once sat on the toilet having a poo and her DH came in, and she gave him a blow job while she was still sat there pooing! Gross gross gross!

Houseconfusion · 23/08/2016 06:16

yucky lady garden and associated mess

^^ wow. Just wow. Don't know where to begin with that.

BodsAuntieFlo · 23/08/2016 06:16

After 4 children (who he seen being born), numerous illnesses throwing up over him and one awful food poisoning episode when I never made the too in time I would never use the loo in front of DH. We don't mention the food poisoning episode, I've never been so embarrassed in my life.

Houseconfusion · 23/08/2016 06:18

just bloody hold it in until bog free

This being said on a forum frequented mainly by women who've given birth.. Wonderfully appropriate . Not.

headinhands · 23/08/2016 06:18

A tiny bit of mystique

I don't see how knowing what your husband looks like when he's 'laying some deep sea cabling' removes all the mystery. Neither of us are bothered about it and believe me there's still plenty of mystique/head scratching going on on my part .

I'd find it hard to adapt to a relationship where we had to almost pretend we don't do those things. Even if I'm not in the room DH will give me feedback when he's finished 'cor, am feeling that curry last night/that one HURT' etc etc. We have a good chortle but we're probably both kids in that respect!

TheDowagerCuntess · 23/08/2016 06:29

Well, just like it would be weird for couples who freely dump in front of each other to suddenly stop ... it would also be weird for couples who prefer to close the door on certain activities, to force the issue.

No thanks!

I love DH, but strangely, I can bear to be parted from him for the duration of a shit. Really - that's not something I desperately need to partake of!

maddiemookins16mum · 23/08/2016 06:45

We do wees (several times, daily), but never poos.

icklekid · 23/08/2016 06:47

I pooed whilst giving birth...think that was as bad as it gets for dh! A toilet somehow doesn't compare!

alltouchedout · 23/08/2016 07:16

I have a handful of times gone for a wee when dh was in the shower but he had to promise to stay behind the shower curtain and pretend he could not hear. I can't go for a poo with him there. The same doesn't apply to him, he doesn't care. Which is odd really as he has seen me give birth three times and on every one of those occasions there was poo- you'd think I would be the one who didn't give a toss.
I don't think it's disgusting. I just don't want to. If other people are fine with it then I'm not judging them.

BroomhildaVonShaft · 23/08/2016 07:35

This being said on a forum frequented mainly by women who've given birth.. Wonderfully appropriate . Not

Strangely, giving birth has not affected my ability to hold a poo until I have an appropriate place to go if you are experiencing faecal incontinence following birth please go to the doctor because it's not normal.

heron98 · 23/08/2016 07:38

I pee in front of DP but a poo? No way!! I don't even like pooing in front of myself.

Houseconfusion · 23/08/2016 07:39

No I am not experiencing any incontinent whatsoever thanks very much. Fabulous connection your mind draws up there. Because as we know we can only ever take an issue with people's remarks if they are about our own selves.

But countless women in this forum say they are. Many women have described being unable to go for jogs and runs. Many have reported toilet urgency. You'd be quite blind to not realise that pregnancy and childbirth can leave a significant number of mothers with a weakened pelvic floor.

MyBreadIsEggy · 23/08/2016 07:40

In our new house, our bath, shower and sink are in the main bathroom, and our toilet is in a tiny little room by itself next door - so we don't have this issue anymore. But in our old house neither of us had any qualms about using the loo while the other was in the shower etc. Mostly wees, but sometimes when you have to poo, you have to poo! We've made some important decisions, one being what colour to paint our living room, while I've been in the shower and DH was having his morning dump while browsing the dulux colour chart

BroomhildaVonShaft · 23/08/2016 07:41

But this thread is about poo
You're talking about urinary incontinence I think?

IneedAdinosaurNickname · 23/08/2016 07:41

Eminybob my dp has (jokingly I think ) asked that I one day give him a blumpkin (sp?) Apparently this is where I give him a blow job while HE has a shit
I told him I would oblige when he gives birth to our baby.

liz70 · 23/08/2016 07:42

"A tiny bit of mystique, after all these years together, doesn't go amiss."

Couldn't agree more.

DH and I have only ever wee-ed in front of each other once in 19 years, when we were very drunk and curious. Curiosity duly satisfied then never felt the need to again. Dropping the kids off at the pool (never heard it called that before ) - no way Jose. And we have only one bathroom with toilet in our owned 1930s semi. We get round the urgent need to pee by drawing the shower curtain across, as explained earlier. 18 year wedding anniversary this Sunday, so it works for us.

IneedAdinosaurNickname · 23/08/2016 07:42

That's a vomit face BTW. Not a jealous one!

WhooooAmI24601 · 23/08/2016 07:43

DH watched a human emerge from my vagina. Beyond that I'd say there's little point in being precious.

I wouldn't openly aim to have a poo in front of him but wouldn't cry about it if he came in while I was mid-way through. He's like a cat, though, and needs absolute silence and privacy in order to take a shit, and when we stay at MIL's house we have to take the DCs for a walk to the ice cream shop so DH can stay behind and have his silent (weird) shit.

Bellabelloo · 23/08/2016 07:46

More Daily Mail fodder?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 23/08/2016 08:15

I'd find it hard to adapt to a relationship where we had to almost pretend we don't do those things

For us it's not pretending it's just not over sharing.

TheDowagerCuntess · 23/08/2016 08:22

^ Yes

Fluffyears · 23/08/2016 08:30

Been together 10 years and have never done this. Even with on bathroom and IBS, going to the loo should be a private activity.

BeyondLovesSweetDee · 23/08/2016 08:47

I actually am doubly incontinent. I still manage to not poo purposely, on the toilet in front of DH. I need to hold my prolapse in place - it really isn't pleasant and I wouldn't subject myself to it if I could help it!

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