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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think going to the loo in front of your dh is disgusting!?

269 replies

Piniatapearl · 22/08/2016 22:54

This just came up in conversation with my sister. She thinks it's perfectly normal that her and her dh will have a shit in front of each other whilst the other is showering or brushing their teeth or whatever.

I just think it's really unnecessary! I do have poo issues so is it me being weird or her?

I'm definitely not the poo troll by the way

OP posts:

pennyunwise · 22/08/2016 23:32

I agree, I don't really see the comparison with childbirth. One is a few times in a lifetime event, the grossness of which is vastly outweighed by the miracle of your child being born!! The other is... a daily shit.

I just don't get why it would ever be necessary, really. We're both adults and we don't have any bowel problems, meaning neither of us has ever been so desperate to go that we can't wait 20 minutes or however long while the other person finishes using the bathroom. It's just common courtesy I suppose, because yes, it is quite gross to do it in front of anybody else, in my opinion.

I mean, how do you people survive when you go out for the day or you're busy doing something that means you can't drop your pants and take a dump the second you feel the urge??

Sparklingbrook · 22/08/2016 23:33

I don't use the loo if there's an audience. It's private.

sonlypuppyfat · 22/08/2016 23:34

Why all this disgust over something everyone does, don't even brush your teeth in front of your partners. Funny fuckers

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 22/08/2016 23:34

Nope, familiarity breeds contempt and all that.

No farting either ,there really isn't any need imo.

LilQueenie · 22/08/2016 23:34

I don't see how it can be any worse than cleaning a poo filled nappy either, its not like you have to whip a baby wipe out or anything.

legotits · 22/08/2016 23:34

I'd be disgusted if my DP did a line of coke from a naked lady adorned with fruit.

Not for doing poos though.

We don't seek each other out to shit but I would go in bathroom to get something, during his shit.

GreenGoth89 · 22/08/2016 23:36

It's a normal bodily function. It's not like I'm having a crap in front of DP whilst he's having a bath but, if this is someone I'll have in the room when I give birth, a quick piss is the least of his worries. He does the same for me,..the bathroom door only gets closed when I want a quiet bath or we have visitors.

pennyunwise · 22/08/2016 23:37

We don't pee, poo, fart or even clean our teeth in front of each other.

Hold on... what's wrong with cleaning your teeth in front of each other??

Topseyt · 22/08/2016 23:37

Never have and never will. I need my privacy and space when using the toilet. So does DH.

We both fart plenty and that doesn't bother us. We don't mind toilet humour. Nothing else though.

Paulat2112 · 22/08/2016 23:38

A pee, yes. A poo, not if I can help it. I do have IBS so when I got to go I got to go. If dh comes into loo and I am about to poo then I wait, if I really need then I will ask him to leave lol. Generally I go when he is out walking the dog!!

It's insane really, he watched me labour with one child then whisked away for a section and then another two sections. He's seen me open on the operating table with my insides for all to see. Yet I absolutely hate pooping with him in the house, go figure!

Cocklodger · 22/08/2016 23:38

Disgusting?
Really?
DH and I compare our biggest logs

MotherOfROC · 22/08/2016 23:38

Together 19 years and this is a natural occurrence as only one toilet in the house. After an accident where I sprained both wrists he even wiped my bum.... To me that's love 😆

LittleBearPad · 22/08/2016 23:38

I don't get the horror. The not brushing your teeth in front of one another is just odd.

monkeysox · 22/08/2016 23:44

Cocklodger mine had even sent me pictures.

liz70 · 22/08/2016 23:45

I can't seem to clean my teeth without slobbering toothpastey froth all down into the sink while I do so. I've never brushed my teeth (as an adult) in front of anyone, DH included, and never will unless I'm in my dotage.

Original poster

Piniatapearl · 22/08/2016 23:46

I think it's swaying to my sister bu not me

We only have one toilet but if either of us need to go in a hurry we just kick the other one out of the bath or shower. That's rare though as neither of us has bowel problems etc.

OP posts:

monkeysox · 22/08/2016 23:46

If you have one loo and one of you has ever been pregnant how would you avoid using the loo while they are there?
In the bath or shower. Post partum javelin in arse shits wait for no man.
Better out than in.
I'm glad we have an en suite now as he used to always time his poos when I was in the bath just like that beer advert.

Original poster

Piniatapearl · 22/08/2016 23:49

It takes 2 seconds to grab a towel and jump out of the showerif the other persons desperate. Would love an en suite, my own little loo.

OP posts:

LuluJakey1 · 22/08/2016 23:52

DH and I have been through some 'intimate' things together- him being bitten by an insect on one of his balls on our first ever holiday which resulted in an unfeasibly large, infected testicle and me having to put ointment on it and him holding it in a sort of sling for a week while he could not go out, me drinkng a glass of mad punch at a party not long after we met and being horribly drunk, falling over, falling off a garden wall where he propped me while he opened the door, vomitting all night in the loo with him holding my hair back, washing my face etc, my waters breaking all over his feet when I was pregnant, him seeing me give birth, vomitting on him when I was taken to hospital with acute pancreatitis, him having to change my period pads when I had hurt my back so badly I could not walk, or bend or dress or undress, I have had to hose him down when he hurt his leg playing football and was off work with it in plaster for a month and could do nothing useful. We are not inhibited sexually together and tell each other TMI things that we wouldn't tell anyone else. We wee infront of each othet but pooing is not for sharing I think, not ever really unless it could not be helped.
TBH I would like separate bathrooms. That would be the ideal scenario. His would be a tip and mine would be serene and fragrant. DS could share his.

pennyunwise · 22/08/2016 23:53

he used to always time his poos when I was in the bath just like that beer advert.

This is what I don't get. I just don't see why I would poo in front of my OH if I didn't need to. Her being in the bath is definitely an "I can hold it" situation. I learnt to hold it for a while when I was around 5 years old, I believe.

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone · 22/08/2016 23:54

We have 3 loos but only one we both use for pooing. OH watched me poo on a bed during childbirth, so I'm honestly not worrying about pooing in a toilet at this stage.
I wasn't allowed to even fart in front of my ex in 8.5 years, DP encouraged me to and wee and poo. It's liberating and has removed a lot of stress from my life. I don't understand how you could maintain privacy with toddlers anyway!
I've lived through one extreme to the other and I definitely prefer not being in pain and worrying about making a noise! In fact, it's making me feel warm and fuzzy and extremely glad I don't have to put up with my ex

LuluJakey1 · 22/08/2016 23:55

When DS was born, I was scared of pooing and he sat outside the loo door the first post birth poo and encouraged me and kept me calm

IneedAdinosaurNickname · 22/08/2016 23:55

Wee yes. Poo... no. Ewww.
When my ex and I lived together I'd warn him that I was off for a bath in 5 mins and if he needed a shit to go now. He was always fine with that.

I'm now in a new relationship and dp thinks it's really odd that I won't poo in front of him or go to the bathroom with him when he needs to go

But like op I don't like pooing anywhere other than my house. Unless I'm on holiday and even then I struggle

unlucky83 · 23/08/2016 00:00

We have an open door bathroom policy ...so we (DP, I and DCs) have all seen each other pee and poo...as for farting -we have no issues.
We don't go out of our way but if you need you need -and it is really bad for you to hold on to poo...can lead to constipation. (And holding farts can lead to trapped wind and tummy aches)
DP will shit anywhere and is lousy at holding on - probably the worse was when we were looking to buy a house. Shown round by the estate agent, DP asked to use the loo, went off upstairs. Came back down looking sheepish. A bit later estate agent took us upstairs, opened the bathroom door and the stench was overpowering...in retrospect it was funny as we all admired the bathroom layout trying not to breath and ignoring the need to pinch our noses...and it had let the smell out so the whole house had a whiff of rancid shit...
Later DP said he couldn't open the window (it seemed to be stuck) and there was no air freshener so he'd closed the door and hoped for the best...
Worse it was lovely house but after much dithering we decided we couldn't make it work for us ...I did wonder if the EA thought we were weird timewasters... the housebuying equivalent to a poo troll

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 23/08/2016 00:01

All the time. Both of us.

We have One toilet and I have IBS. If I need to go, I'm not going to hang around outside the door and shite myself because someone's in there brushing their teeth.

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