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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

You couldn't write this sh*t!!!!!

354 replies

Tryingtostayyoung · 21/08/2016 18:36

I literally can not believe what has just happened to me, I am fuming, in shock and shaking...

I have a very good friend, part of the same friendship group wouldn't say she is my bestest friend but always been a good one. I was out for dinner with our group a few nights ago and she was talking about how she is convinced her fiancé is having an affair. We all told her we didn't think he was because tbh he's fantastic and quite obviously loves her and she's just paranoid (always been a bit of a drama queen)...

Now rewind to around a month ago I was at a family function and my younger cousin was there (18) who I'm not exactly close to but we do get on very well. She tells me that she has a new boyfriend I ask why he isn't there, she confides in me that he has a serious girlfriend but that she is depressed and suicidal and he can't leave her Hmm I expressed that it was wrong even if that was his situation because he should be focussing on trying to end it gently, not doing the thing that could push this poor girl over the edge...

So surprise surprise you all know where this is going... I am out today, cousin calls me, can i come over, I can hear she's in tears. Turns out she's pregnant, she wants the baby, the prick is pressuring her to abort. I start trying to talk to her about her options etc etc. Her phones ringing like MAD and she tells me it's him and she's ignoring she thought he loved her etc then she gets a text and she tells me he's outside and wants her to come down and talk to him, I look outside and who is it?! YOU GUESSED IT!!!!

My friend is definitely not depressed or suicidal he is just a complete and utter wanker and I am furious. She went with him and i didn't tell her because i don't know what to do. I don't like to get involved in things like this normally but AIBU I'm already involved aren't I?? Fuck sake!!!!

OP posts:
Batteriesallgone · 21/08/2016 19:47

I hope for your cousins sake she doesn't shack up with him if friend dumps him.

And I hope your poor friend believes you!

Hrafnkel · 21/08/2016 19:47

Good luck!

hollieberrie · 21/08/2016 19:47

God, what a situation. Well done OP. You sound like a good cousin and friend.
Something a bit like this happened to me a couple of years ago (complete with a death) so absolutely these things do happen, and its a right fucking mess for all concerned. Good luck, you're doing the right thing.

UnGoogleable · 21/08/2016 19:48

She might shoot the messenger - but you've done nothing wrong, and you're telling her as soon as you found out. She'll soon see that you're acting in her best interests

Well done Flowers

e1y1 · 21/08/2016 19:48

You need to tell your friend. Tonight!

As she will inevitably ask when you found out, and in these cases, waiting an hour is too long.

Anonymouses · 21/08/2016 19:49

She will to begin with but its all for the best. If she has already had doubts it may not be A surprise.

I'm pretty sure the Surprise holiday is because he is hoping he can stop your cousin ratting him out. He's probably hoping she will "see sense" while he's away. Fucking scumbag.

All you can do is be there for both of them. He is the arsehole here. He has taken advantage of a young and naive girl and lied to both her and his fiancé. Hope you can all get past this together.

witchofzog · 21/08/2016 19:50

How awful for you, your friend and your cousin. Wishing you luck - you are doing the right thing

Wonkydonkey44 · 21/08/2016 19:51

Good luck your doing the right thing x

nightandthelight · 21/08/2016 19:52

Definitely doing the right thing!

blowmybarnacles · 21/08/2016 19:52

I would have told him to tell his fiancé tonight, or you will.

I hope it goes well.

Kaisha02 · 21/08/2016 19:53

Well done you - you are definitely doing the right thing.

CinderellaFant · 21/08/2016 19:54

I wouldn't like to be in your position

Squabblesallaround · 21/08/2016 19:55

Definately the right call. Best of luck

chitofftheshovel · 21/08/2016 19:56

Yep, she might be cross at you as the messenger but you are doing the right thing and hopefully she will see that in the long run.

Littleblue · 21/08/2016 19:56

Ouch , good luck ! what a horrible piece of work , they're both best off without him .

Ohb0llocks · 21/08/2016 19:58

What a total and utter bellend your friend is better off without him. Id be telling her whilst the bastard is there then he couldn't worm his way back in with excuses.

RosieSW · 21/08/2016 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maddening · 21/08/2016 20:00

Good luck - doing the right thing is always the hardest

Mappcat · 21/08/2016 20:02

You are doing the right thing. Don't envy you at all. Jolly good luck.

Mybugslife · 21/08/2016 20:03

You've done the right thing, she may be angry at you but she'll soon realise that you had her best interests at heart. Good luck X

jbee664 · 21/08/2016 20:03

Good luck! Awful situation and she might direct initial anger at you but like said above - don't take it personally, she'll thank you in the long run!

calzone · 21/08/2016 20:04

What a nightmare.....

LineyReborn · 21/08/2016 20:06

Life is often stranger than fiction tbh.

HeyNannyNanny · 21/08/2016 20:08

Good luck, OP.

Flowers
MiddleClassProblem · 21/08/2016 20:08

Tell her everything as how you found out so it's clear that you told her asap. She could be upset with you but it would be unjust and just a raw emotion of being hurt by him. Don't forget that he fooled you too! Only a few days ago you were protesting his innocence. You are doing the right thing no matter the out come.

Good luck x