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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

You couldn't write this sh*t!!!!!

354 replies

Tryingtostayyoung · 21/08/2016 18:36

I literally can not believe what has just happened to me, I am fuming, in shock and shaking...

I have a very good friend, part of the same friendship group wouldn't say she is my bestest friend but always been a good one. I was out for dinner with our group a few nights ago and she was talking about how she is convinced her fiancé is having an affair. We all told her we didn't think he was because tbh he's fantastic and quite obviously loves her and she's just paranoid (always been a bit of a drama queen)...

Now rewind to around a month ago I was at a family function and my younger cousin was there (18) who I'm not exactly close to but we do get on very well. She tells me that she has a new boyfriend I ask why he isn't there, she confides in me that he has a serious girlfriend but that she is depressed and suicidal and he can't leave her Hmm I expressed that it was wrong even if that was his situation because he should be focussing on trying to end it gently, not doing the thing that could push this poor girl over the edge...

So surprise surprise you all know where this is going... I am out today, cousin calls me, can i come over, I can hear she's in tears. Turns out she's pregnant, she wants the baby, the prick is pressuring her to abort. I start trying to talk to her about her options etc etc. Her phones ringing like MAD and she tells me it's him and she's ignoring she thought he loved her etc then she gets a text and she tells me he's outside and wants her to come down and talk to him, I look outside and who is it?! YOU GUESSED IT!!!!

My friend is definitely not depressed or suicidal he is just a complete and utter wanker and I am furious. She went with him and i didn't tell her because i don't know what to do. I don't like to get involved in things like this normally but AIBU I'm already involved aren't I?? Fuck sake!!!!

OP posts:
Jizzomelette · 21/08/2016 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

humblesims · 21/08/2016 20:09

I think you are doing exactly the right thing and have acted very responsibly for all concerned. I hope your friend will be OK. Hope you're OK too. Flowers

yorkshapudding · 21/08/2016 20:10

You're definitely doing the right thing. Just remember that people say all sorts of shit that they don't mean when they're in shock and hurting. So your friend may 'shoot the messenger' initially but that doesn't mean she blames you for this in any real sense and it doesn't mean your friendship won't completely recover.

You're a good friend.

99percentchocolate · 21/08/2016 20:10

Good luck, I hope it goes as well as it can do Flowers

Bogeyface · 21/08/2016 20:10

A "surprise" trip away just as his teenage GF announces her PG? What a fucking coincidence.

Good luck OP, you are doing exactly the right thing.

Original poster
Tryingtostayyoung · 21/08/2016 20:11

Well that was absolutely the most horrible thing I have ever had to do. I turned up and told her everything... She was upset and in total shock at first and also sad for my cousin and then I realised she had the wrong end of the stick and that she didn't realise that my cousin knew about her and then she went mental. Insane. She called him in front of me and he started denying she was pregnant said she was delusional and depressed and it had been a mistake he just couldn't end to which I screamed that sounds familiar. She hung up and just sat there crying at which point her dad came upstairs to see what was going on and he stared comforting her at which point I thought I should leave. She hates my cousin, thinks she's disgusting and deserves this shitty situation which to be fair if I was my friend I would also feel but she's just happy that I told her because everyone knows I'm the sort of person that always stays out of stuff. She threw her engagement ring out the window but I picked it up when I was walking to my car because I felt like that was the right thing to do, I'll give it back to her when she's calmed down, who knows she may want to sell it to pay her parents back for some of the deposits they've already paid. I feel exhausted and sad.

OP posts:
kstoddart · 21/08/2016 20:11

Good luck. What a shit he is.

acatcalledjohn · 21/08/2016 20:11

Oh my, this does sound like a plot line straight out of Eastenders. How awful for both your cousin and friend.

I'd be tempted to tell your friend, then afterwards tell her CoaF Cunt of a Fiancé that you know it's him and you've have told both parties. Make the bastard squirm and warm him that any more pressure from him re: abortion may well result in police action for harassment.

I would also speak to your cousin directly and be honest with her. I know you've told her mother, but she is an adult (even if you do say she's very much a child still) and may well benefit from being treated like one.

SillySausage1 · 21/08/2016 20:11

What a mess, hope your friend copes ok. Best of luck.

fastdaytears · 21/08/2016 20:13

Wow. Well done for telling her. I can't imagine how hard that must have been

LabRats · 21/08/2016 20:13

Wow. What a nightmare. Hope everything turns out ok.

Original poster
Tryingtostayyoung · 21/08/2016 20:14

Shit I'm now feeling like I shouldn't have picked it up? Should I go back and put it back?? I was trying to help

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 21/08/2016 20:14

That was quick! Less than 30 mins!

Littleblue · 21/08/2016 20:15

What a horrible mess .

Kaisha02 · 21/08/2016 20:15

Don't worry, you have definitely done the right thing. Well done you for telling her, sending hugs to you. Although the two other women have had one hell of a life changing Sunday, no one should forget how difficult a situation this has been for you.

LabRats · 21/08/2016 20:17

Is it a nice ring?

Original poster
Tryingtostayyoung · 21/08/2016 20:17

Tbh it was like a tornado and i wanted to get out of there because after the initial screaming her dad came up and then i felt like I was intruding

OP posts:
kstoddart · 21/08/2016 20:17

You've done the right thing x

lasttimeround · 21/08/2016 20:18

Well done OP. Really just applause for you. Keep the ring to give back to your friend in a few days. She may well want to sell seeing as her parents have been spending on the wedding

acatcalledjohn · 21/08/2016 20:18

X post. Well done for telling her. I can understand your friend is angry with your cousin. Your cousin was absolutely in the wrong but she's paying the price by being pregnant with the child of a first class cunt. Just for those interpreting that incorrectly: I'm not disputing her love for this child, but more that the child is not born out of love but out of a stupid relationship with a user. And that is something she will have to live with if she decides against abortion.

PovertyPain · 21/08/2016 20:18

Y goodness, OP, you've certainly had an eventual couple of hours!

TheJiminyConjecture · 21/08/2016 20:18

MiddleClassProblem Grin They always are!

YouOKHun · 21/08/2016 20:19

That was really brave of you and the mark of a true friend (even though you probably won't get thanked for it). You've done the right thing Flowers

MiddleClassProblem · 21/08/2016 20:19

I think you should poor yourself a wine or have a cuppa if you don't drink just to ease that knot in your tummy.

MiddleClassProblem · 21/08/2016 20:19

Pour! Not poor...
Face palm