To complain to the zoo about the wanking monkeys?

[MissHooliesCardigan]

I took DS2 to the zoo yesterday. It's taken me years to get it into his head that he only plays with his willy in private. About half the male primates were rubbing their dicks on tree branches and one was standing right up against the glass having a good old tug.
Then, as soon as we entered the reptile house, we were greeted by the sight of 2 giant tortoises shagging.
AIBU to ask the zoo to put warning up for visitors?

Fantastic thread...

You're not being unreasonable so much, I'm afraid, as stupid. Your son will learn in time that animals and humans have different societal norms. This was a good chance for you to point it out. It's not too late ...

lighthearted means a joke!! Poshpaws

Feeling a new user name coming on. Can't decide between wankmonkey or monkeywank.

Monkeywank flows off the tongue much better than wankmonkey

I wish people would rtft before commenting

I have reported this for classics. Best thread I have read in ages

Sitting here reading and having a chuckle to myself and my teenage son looks over my shoulder and says" wanking monkeys" mother what on earth .... Obviously he has lived a sheltered life and on many trips to the zoo he missed any animal sexual interaction 😁

I'm crying with laughter

Ahahahaha! This must be a joke! You take your kids to see wild animals at a zoo, then complain about the animal's behaviour? Please tell us all this is actually a joke! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

No..the op was deadly serious. Honestly. If you rtft, you would have seen the very serious letter she wrote in where she outlined her concerns and suggested that every monkey wore a chastity belt during opening hours. We are waiting for a reply from the zoo

Need I think the unmumsymum might be responsible for the influx. That's their excuse..

Last time we went to see the chimps at Chester zoo one was eating handfuls of his own shit!

My 8 year old was I intrigued why they do it!

Need

Are you...slut-shaming the poor bonobos

Clearly, no offense meant to sluts.

Never seen a wanking primate.

Really? Never?

Not even a partner? Yourself?

Primates r us (humans)

BTW:
The looks I got. I was not performance parenting. I was educating.

You have nothing on me. It doesn't help that I'm a biologist.

Your son will learn in time that animals and humans have different societal norms.

Conversely, you will learn over time (if you stick around) to distinguish a serious thread from a jokey one.

I Googled the monkey frog loving

But then battled on through to "crossing the line into emu porn" and I'm ok again.

Pikachu I was graced with some lovely giraffe shagging at the YWP last year, are you my mate? Imagine being outed on a monkey wanking thread the shame

What are you going to tell him when he asks mommy how did I get here good look in life it sounds like you need it

I remember being confronted by a primate giving himself a blow-job. Did think I bet most men wish they were that flexible. But didn't pass that thought on to son, who didn't really notice the wonders of nature we were witnessing.

Please complain.

I had some mates from uni over to my dad's farm for a weekend once. While we were enjoying a few beverages in the front garden, one of the dairy herd in the field beyond unabashedly urinated, right there in front of us, without even making a move towards going and standing behind a tree or anything. Twenty years later, one of the lads still goes on about this whenever I see him- apparently he just can't get over the fact that cows aren't modest about their bodily functions.

YABU!

Imagine being sat in your cool people carrier with your mum and kids watching this !!!!! 😂

Jeez, Mumsnet reverts to Mumsnet of old for one thread and half the people on it think it is serious.

I used to work in a zoo and once had to deliver a talk while a monkey experimented with sucking his own willy right in front of the fence. After a couple of contortions, and tugging quite hard on it (but clearly not hard enough to hurt) he managed it. My Very Important talk on conservation was kind of lost.
And then there was the orangutan who sat underneath another one and gleefully drank her pee as she weed on him.

Animals are really quite revolting things.