To complain to the zoo about the wanking monkeys?

[MissHooliesCardigan]

I took DS2 to the zoo yesterday. It's taken me years to get it into his head that he only plays with his willy in private. About half the male primates were rubbing their dicks on tree branches and one was standing right up against the glass having a good old tug.
Then, as soon as we entered the reptile house, we were greeted by the sight of 2 giant tortoises shagging.
AIBU to ask the zoo to put warning up for visitors?

He missed out big time then didn't he coconutty

Does anyone remember 'Beastly Behavior' which used to be on Channel 4? It was very ... err ... educational! . I brought it on VHS, took me ages to find a copy! Can probably be found on YouTube now.

You asked your dh if he fancied an accidental ferret? ha ha

Sounds like you need to go and have a bit of a wink yourself - get over it !!

I've tried winking but I can't get any satisfaction, am I doing it wrong? Left eye, right eye or alternating? Do I need to build up a rhythm?

This is hilarious. My grandma has a picture of me and my brother at the zoo. The picture is us smiling and posing completely oblivious to the elephants at it behind us 😂

Don't give yourself cramp now, mummyshort

Try winking both eyes at the same time and see if that does anything

I've never seen a wanking monkey and I've seen monkeys in zoo's etc plenty of times. Is this a regular thing?

Maybe monkeys don't find you sexually attractive?

I hope your grandma has the elephant photo displayed proudly on the wall .How on earth didn't she notice?!

I've never seen a wanking monkey

Bonobo chimps will be the most likely to be at it.

Many other primates are prim and use sex mostly for reproduction.

Bonobos are complete sluts.

Maybe zoos could feed them bamboo leaves. It seems to work for pandas.

You should see the occupants of my fish tank after lights-out. It's pure filth, the hermit crabs are the worst.

Perhaps she thought the male elephant was washing the female with his trunk? And had to get on her back to reach the hard to get bits?

YOU MADE IT ONTO FACEBOOK!!!!!! The unmumsy mum shared it 😂😂😂😂😂

you need to get a life lady

Was very disappointed not to see a wanking monkey today. Even the chimps were not eating shit ...

Thank you op, you've made my day, I almost wish you were serious though, would have been even funnier!

Never seen a wanking primate.

I have seen a female gorilla getting slowly fingered by a male gorilla though at the zoo.

Lol....god only knows what the crossed out picture on the notice will look like!! Get a grip OP! (No pun intended ✊)

"Bonobo chimps will be the most likely to be at it.

Many other primates are prim and use sex mostly for reproduction.

Bonobos are complete sluts."

Are you...slut-shaming the poor bonobos? How very...suburban of you

We took DS to Chester Zoo, not a wanking monkey on site. A man dis get wee'd on by a Fruit Bat though...

Apes! Apes! Not monkeys!

(Entirely misses point.)

Apes don't have tails, monkeys do. I explained this to my 3 year old at the zoo. The looks I got. I was not performance parenting. I was educating. And we go to the zoo every fucking week and I have to think of something different to say.