To complain to the zoo about the wanking monkeys?

[MissHooliesCardigan]

I took DS2 to the zoo yesterday. It's taken me years to get it into his head that he only plays with his willy in private. About half the male primates were rubbing their dicks on tree branches and one was standing right up against the glass having a good old tug.
Then, as soon as we entered the reptile house, we were greeted by the sight of 2 giant tortoises shagging.
AIBU to ask the zoo to put warning up for visitors?

I took 90 14 year olds to the zoo once. The first thing they saw were too chimps shagging. Of course their arrival startled Mrs chimp who scarpered so the second thing they saw was Mr Chimp finish himself off. Brilliant! They loved it

Chester zoo monkeys are always at it. Still, makes the annual pass worthwhile!

"Muuuuum. Where do babies come from?"

"Go ask the chimps"

Who would have thought a class trip to the zoo would cover sex ed!

Lol. Never go to twycross zoo. Lots of bonobos.

Last year at yorkshire wildlife park there was some serious giraffe shagging going on. Me and dd were fascinated!

You know, this will be added to the list of things namechangers rattle off to prove they have been here a while.

'I have NC cos I am so embarrassed, but have been here for a long time, cutted up pear, pom bears, elderly korean lady, penis beaker, wanking monkeys!'

Your missing jizz omelette from that list Mama

This has got to be in classics!

Lol at the randytortoise on the thread. Is a jizz omelette a new delicacy?

I think 'Accidental Ferret Blow Job' is also a strong band name contender!

Also if the monkeys can't do it in open will they be now offered a private room with facilities? Perhaps mags, computers, beds?

Like a breastfeeding room? Perhaps they should be asked to put a napkin over their fenitals?

Whaf would the sign actually say?

Kinda but I will not label it as I doubt that the zoo would publicise it. I guess a dimly lit room for intimate experiences whether solo or duo or more

Lol great minds Albert

cutted up pear, pom bears, elderly korean lady...and jizz omelettes. I am intruiged...

Just be thankful they go behind the modesty screen for blowjobs, tit wanks and anal.

Show me Show me is about orangutans today, Chris and Poi are encouraging us all to imagine we are orangutans, I hope they miss out wanking.

NC in honour of this thread, best laugh I've had in ages. Classics, please!!

At least we know you actually DID take the DC to the zoo, rather than a museum that you told him was a zoo :)

Wow thanks to this thread I now know female cats really have it shit when it comes to sex!!

wait - you mean the monkeys in Monkey World are not pottering about playing with exploded footballs and bales of hay, while Jeremy (phwoar, in passing) teaches them to fish ice cubes out of a barrel?

Worse, I am sponsoring a wanking orangutan?

MrsJackAubury The orangs mostly potter except while they are pissing on people and shagging but mostly pottering you are obviously watching very old series he would get his face ripped off if he went in now the chimp babies are at least 12