To complain to the zoo about the wanking monkeys?

[MissHooliesCardigan]

I took DS2 to the zoo yesterday. It's taken me years to get it into his head that he only plays with his willy in private. About half the male primates were rubbing their dicks on tree branches and one was standing right up against the glass having a good old tug.
Then, as soon as we entered the reptile house, we were greeted by the sight of 2 giant tortoises shagging.
AIBU to ask the zoo to put warning up for visitors?

Human males have vestigial spikes?

Really? Wow

Yes NN but not to worry after an exploratory Google search there are YouTube videos available for how to remove them

Yes NN but not to worry after an exploratory Google search there are YouTube videos available for how to remove them

There are just some things I don't need to see and that is definitely one of them..

God my eyes

Blimey PussyWillows and I thought I lowered the tone with froglights..

Do giant tortoises have happy faces? Can't imagine a blissed out, ready for a cigarette face on a tortoise.

I saw a couple of giant tortoises in Mauritius, there was more drool than blissed out looking.

I don't suppose they can easily cuddle afterwards either

As I have now celebrated my 30 th I was ready for a name change.

I handed my phone to dh to read the thread.

Dd asked if she could read it too and I told her no.

Dh blurted out 'can bats do that!?'

Dd then stropped off muttering that if she can't read it there is no need to rub it in her face.

I am now crying actual tears

@Randytortoise

Damn it. Changed mine 15 mins ago after reading this too

(your post wasn't there then so I guess it was longer than 15 mins ago xD)

Great minds think alike. Does this mean we are mn relations as we share a surname

Went to Prague zoo a few years ago and the elephants were mating,gave zDH a massive inferiority complex. Funnily enough most kids were paying no attention st all

Haven't RTFT yet, but now picturing a road sign type warning with a silhouette of wanking monkeys!
I suspect this is a joke/lighthearted? It certainly gave me a laugh!

The hedgehogs were really loud! They also triggered the security light so their romp was fully illuminated - exhibitionists!

Ha spotlight sex

I guess so for now Now I actually know how to namechange though(first time) I will probably be doing it constantly lol

So many possibilities!

Least they didn't throw shit at you?

😂😂😂😂. Thank you

Magical? What came out, glitter?

😂😂😂😂 Oh God

If there's one thing I know about the chimp house - it's stay out of semen/wee/flung poo range.... they're like adult toddlers who get grumpy and know exactly what to do to get a reaction out of people :)

I think it was on here that DP and I got our favourite euphemism for sex (only needed once a parent and having to explain un-expected scenes on TV etc. - like the time 4 year old DS popped up behind me when I was watching Outlander on my ipad without me realising until he said of naked Jamie - he's very strong isn't he, like superman) 'Playing Tigers'

I want to see a beware wanking monkeys sign. I'm in the states right now there HAS to be one round here somewhere surely?

This bear was a kind and attentive lover. He loved her long time. I was boxed in and my sons were asking why the Bears were doing that. I said they were play fighting. I'm not explaining doggy style animal fucking to preschoolers. I of course took a picture.

I am actually quite disappointed now that wanking monkeys and such seem so common. Of the 3 times I have visited anywhere with monkeys..they have behaved...monkey-like, swinging round the trees, playing chase and such or sitting eating. I have never witnessed this apparent often monkey porn. I did have a gorilla sit and stare me out for about 15 minutes though...but still nothing dodgy.

I now think there may be something wrong with me for being peed off that I haven't seen anything like this

Should have cropped out the fruit shoot. There's some reigns, a loo brush and a penis beaker just out of sight.