To complain to the zoo about the wanking monkeys?

[MissHooliesCardigan]

I took DS2 to the zoo yesterday. It's taken me years to get it into his head that he only plays with his willy in private. About half the male primates were rubbing their dicks on tree branches and one was standing right up against the glass having a good old tug.
Then, as soon as we entered the reptile house, we were greeted by the sight of 2 giant tortoises shagging.
AIBU to ask the zoo to put warning up for visitors?

DH accidentally wanked a dolphin once.

Hopping you KNOW you can't say that and leave it....carry on! So...he met this dolphin yes....what then?

Can this be moved to classics please??!!

I saw two giant tortoises at it at the zoo just last week. The one doing the humping was closing it's eyes and opening its mouth in ecstasy with each thrust!

Ok, brief facts
Dolphin experience thingy in Florida. Given chance to stroke Dolphins belly.
DH not very clued up on dolphin anatomy. Very happy dolphin. Very upset keeper. American family from Texas with no sense of humour.
DH didn't help when in order to lighten the situation said " I've paid £100 for this I'll do what I want to it"

A few years ago when we were in town..there was a teenage boy stood in the middle of a road having a wank which was a bit of a shock.
He was arrested so, yes, I think those monkeys should have

hopping "accidentally"?

been too..

" I've paid £100 for this I'll do what I want to it"

"Complain to the moon"

This has really cheered me up!

Im unfamiliar with dolphin anatomy v but I think I could tell the difference between a belly and a penis

giles that's the story he's sticking to.

I remember taking DS to San Diego zoo - we were watching the baboons then all of a sudden a big male grabbed his mate and err "mated" in a rather aggressive manner. DS gasped and shouted "rape!" I was mortified. Thankfully the other visitors found it hilarious 😬

DH and I witnessed a couple of emus going at it at Marwell Zoo. We stopped to watch, decided to film it, looked at each other, stopped filming and scuttled off feeling very, very shamed indeed.

There's a line and we crossed it by making emu porn.

There's a line and we crossed it by making emu porn

DS1 has been in a band at school since Y7. They've never really had a proper name - they were 'The Year 7 band', then the 'Year 8 band' and so on. They've just finished Y11 and are all going to different 6th forms but want to keep the band going so are trying to come up with a name. I may suggest 'The Wanking Monkeys'- it's certainly distinctive.
Interesting fact: male ducks have a corkscrew shaped penis which is tucked away inside them and literally springs out when it's time for action.

We went to Chester Zoo --clearly full
if over sexed animals-- and the giraffes we at it. Quite big are giraffes and hard to avoid

We've witnessed chimpanzee and colobus monkey-aspanking at Edinburgh and Paignton Zoo respectively.

In fact, I'd go so far as to say that no zoological visit is complete without being party to a bit of Primate Painting The Pickle.

make it stop Neville - actually laughing out loud so loudly that I scared DD and now she's doing baby sad!

Ahhh must have been the tugging chimps you saw, native to sumatra I believe?

They're not there all of the time. They come-and-go throughout the year 🙊🙊🙊🙊

alice

was doing so well, then I just lost it at froglight

but poor froggie :(

Snails are both sexes. I think they can sidle up to each and have double bangs.

In the South West the cows are regularly trying to give each other piggy-backs. DCs think it's great fun to watch.

If you tell DCs not to do something they'll only do it more!

I'm sorry for possibly corrupting your DS