To complain to the zoo about the wanking monkeys?

[MissHooliesCardigan]

I took DS2 to the zoo yesterday. It's taken me years to get it into his head that he only plays with his willy in private. About half the male primates were rubbing their dicks on tree branches and one was standing right up against the glass having a good old tug.
Then, as soon as we entered the reptile house, we were greeted by the sight of 2 giant tortoises shagging.
AIBU to ask the zoo to put warning up for visitors?

Animals kept in captivity likely get up to more shenanigans of this nature to relieve the boredom

Even educated fleas do it...

Oh haha op. I remember seeing a small monkey dry humping what we assumed was his mum while she was nursing a baby. It just looked so human and wrong. I laughed but my school didn't notice as there were other monkeys playing quite energetically in a different area of the enclosure.

We had a cat that used to hump my pink fluffy slippers. He used to wait until we were all sat quietly in the living room on an evening and drag the slipper in to the middle of the room to have a good romp. Many a cat jizz joke.

Make it stop Neville!

Did you put the windscreen wipers on afterwards?

Ah the joys of family days out...

We once went to the zoo on mothers day. Two tortoises humping, both males. Gay tortoise sex..........best mothers day ever

How did you know the tortoises were males?

It's hard to sex a tortoise. Apart from DNA testing, it's tail length and the shell that can say if it's male or female.

Females have a flat shell at the bottom, males are slightly curved

YANBU!

It is disgusting and Against God and Nature!

All of those poor monkeys will go blind if nothing is one to prevent this unacceptable behaviour.

Complain to the moon and also report them to the RSPCA

I would add that I once made a similar complaint about a Famous Scottish Zoo, and now all of their male monkeys are forced to wear oven gloves.

That'll teach the mucky little blighters!

• in first post - "zoo" not "moon"

I'm going to have words with this bleedin' autocorrect. . . .

"Make it stop Neville"

Bloody brilliant thread

Has cheered me right up

I'm hoping to see some shagging monkeys at longleat this week

I can't be the only one who thought whales/dolphins etc didn't have penises . I honestly thought they had like holes and the semen swam about and found its way into the female.

Oh god writing that I feel so utterly thick

thanks mum

YANBU. They should be adding potassium bromide to their feed. Or at least provide the worst offenders with modesty pants.

bonny

Females have nipples too. They pop out of a slit to feed their baby and then slip back in

My mil introduced another male dog to hers yesterday that she's hoping to rehome and her dog started humping him.

@NeedACleverNN we knew they were males due to the sign on their pen!

Fair enough

Thanks for the laughter

The best zoo shag I've seen were two male brother lions having a good hump! I don't think there were any insertions but it was vigorous.

Coconutty

There really are people who get worried about this! I was at the zoo recently and seriously heard a young woman complain to her partner that the female gorillas nipples were 'exposed'. I could have died.

And further to that I can only imagine her horror had Tyne gorillas had a shag it a tug

THE gorillas. Not Tyne. FFS.