To complain to the zoo about the wanking monkeys?

[MissHooliesCardigan]

I took DS2 to the zoo yesterday. It's taken me years to get it into his head that he only plays with his willy in private. About half the male primates were rubbing their dicks on tree branches and one was standing right up against the glass having a good old tug.
Then, as soon as we entered the reptile house, we were greeted by the sight of 2 giant tortoises shagging.
AIBU to ask the zoo to put warning up for visitors?

Richard Olivier, the son of Sir Laurence Olivier and Joan Plowright
was only a little boy when, on the front at Brighton, he was
confronted by the sight of two dogs mating. The lad turned to Noel
Coward, who was the Olivier's house guest, and said, "What are they
doing, Uncle Noel?"
"The one in front is blind." said Coward unpeturbed, "and the one
behind is being very very sweet and pushing him all the way to
St. Dunstan's."

Missing a than there

Bigger than humans

God knows why but I googled monkey frog love.. Why didn't the frog bite the monkey and hop off super quick after he was let go of in surprise ?
What a way to go

I will not Google. I will not Google. I will learn my bloody lesson and will not Google!!!

I'm definitely not googling.

I presume that wanking off an orca is made clear in the job description?

It'd like to think it's more of an initiation than something in the job description.

Tortoises here also..we were mature and took a photo of it. And put it on FB along with the other photos

Could you imagine fighting with it though?

I've seen clips on tv where a vet has had to wank off a rhino and an elephant and they had to really put a lot of effort into keeping upright and keeping hold of the penis. Cos it moves all on its own

Can I hasten to add that these were wildlife documentaries too before anyone gets the wrong idea..

Oddly enough, the job section of the website talks a lot about desensitisation.

You'd have to get the whale to stand in the front hall on it's tail and use the dick as a draught excluder. Tis the only sensible use I can think of for it around the home.

Its
So sorry for the rogue apostrophy there

Definitely not googling.

I'm sure I read somewhere that for most species other than apes/monkeys sex for females isn't particularly pleasurable - that would explain the utterly bored expression of the female as she carries on grazing whilst staring vacantly into mid distance. Reminds me of an ex.

Oh dixie

You should know by now not to Google anything on mn.....

I don't know...pigs can orgasm for up to 30 minutes.

Oh there's just no need for that is there. Honestly, you'd be good for nothing after 30 minutes surely.

I think after a 30 minute high, you wouldn't really care about going to the slaughterhouse

I once saw a giant tortoise run, and I mean run very fast over to a lady tortoise then mount and try to make babies with her.

Who knew they can actually run if they wanted to?!

Zoos can be very educational.

I aint googling Monkey frog love. I've learnt my lesson after googling dinosaur porn and My little pony porn. Scared my friend's childhood memories.

That said, this thread is fucking hilarious.

I would just tell your small child that animals behave differently to humans and what might be acceptable in the animal kingdowm isn't acceptable to homo sapiens.

DP's bunny has a special friend. DSS's football.

DSS loves the fact his bunny is as interested in football as he is!

Such a cute, fluffy thing. Until you see it humping for all its worth over a leather football!

Ah I glad you didn't put 'lighthearted' at the start op as I've had a really shit morning and actually laughed at your post.

Thank you

Just nature doing what nature does.

Maybe a good time to explain about the birds and the bee's etc and that it's natural.