To start an EIGHTH thread that no one responds to?

[VanillaSugar]

These threads, which lie empty as the night, remain unposted upon. Verily, you know what to do.*

*Don't post.

She better or I'll be heartbroken :(

Those are beautiful words to start off our next thread, Portia! And about some tasteful pics of Thomas the Tank Engine and malformed vegetables to give innocent newcomers a more complete picture of what our threads are about.

I slept for 10hrs!

Portia it is awful how much RNLI and mountain rescue have to risk their own lives to save people who've done daft things.

Does anybody else find it shocking that air ambulance, RNLI and mountain rescue aren't funded by government?

Portia that verse is lovely for the opening of the next thread.

They SHOULD be government funded

Good luck with the cake competition today, Vanilla! We'll be waiting to hear how you get on at the Horticultural Show. (sounds like the beginning of a Midsomer Murder. Who will die after sampling a slice of chocolate cake heavily laced with alcohol and crack cocaine?)

My money is on the promiscuous chambermaid, Jess who has had affairs with all the well-heeled and attractive men in the village.

I also like the song words for the start of the thread. 👍🎶

Ahhh but you say that better but she'll be the second victim

Do not get me started on what the government do and don't fund.

Oh, there'll be plenty of corpses strewn around by the end. Hardly a soul left alive in the village, in fact.

The first victim may be an innocent young traveller who gets lost on his lengthy and circuitous route home from holiday, and happens on a picturesque village with a Horticultural Show in progress.

Right, I'll be back when I get home!

We're not leaving yet

I've had a small glass of apple juice to settle my stomach, I'm still super thirsty BUT I don't want anything I drink to come back up..

Apple juice is too acidic if your stomach is upset. Have a cup of tea instead.

Oh great :( and I don't LIKE tea!

And I reread your post and I don't want to be murdered :(

Right we actually are setting off now

Talk soon! (Probably on the next thread)

Would travel sickness pills help at all AGL?

Bystanders may report that, just as you were about to raise a slice of poisoned chocolate cake to your lips, a green object leapt up and dashed it from your lips, croaking "Don't eat it, son!" and then hopped off and disappeared.

Hohoho

Good luck on not being sick AGL!

We have to wait an hour now Jesus

Taken travel sickness pills already

Better

Thank you for your support. The cake competition is actually next Saturday, but I made the cake in advance so that the whisky could infuse into the rest of the cake.

I am also going to attempt some flower arranging and DD is going to make some cupcakes. Will post the photos of our disasters triumphs.

I have now arisen from my bed but am not yet dressed as he's taken over the shower yet again
Check Mn to be regaled by tales of monkeys wanking at the zoo ( check active) poor young AGL and his travel sickness tales, and absent friends.
Thanks for approval of my suggested opening post.
We are dining at Grans for our Sunday pissup luncheon so should be fun. Wonder if Jim will take his hat off? Not sure I want to see whats underneath that thing..!!!!!
I'm informed by another Cornish Mner that more twattery is happening at the infamous Newquay. Apparently someone went into the sea to rescue their dog who should've been on a lead. Cue the lifeboat yet again, I don't think that crew have had any time to themselves this weekend. No pay for it though!

I will try to update later and will eat my veg or Gran will give me a tongue lashing.
Hope you are all ok.