Aibu to think that if you buy someone a birthday present...you dont then take it back off them?

[shiteattheseaside]

Ok so this will need some background explanation:

1. My mother and father are very very well off (house over a milion, 2 porches, 3 horses)

1. Even though people may make a judgement of what i am going to say, i am the total opposite of a spoilt brat. ..totally on the contrary i have never asked for anything from them, i have bought everything myself from working at 15 and moving out at 18 to uni with pretty much nil help from them (which admittedly i dont expect but indont understand why they dont offer when they are so well off and im struggling tbh)

Ok so, my mum and dad bought me a car for my 18th birthday (seccond hand, but decent little first car, worth about 4500). Jump to me being 20 at uni, i have a rather wild weekend with friends - paid for by my student loan at the time. I had thought i had another installmeny of student loan to do me to the end of the year but i had misscalculated and was basically down of about 1300 ( my fault totally). I spoke to my dad and explained my stupid mistake and asked if he would mind lending me the money (which i would pay back straight away when my next loan/work wage came in in a couple months time) baring in mind this is the first and only time i had ever asked my very wealthy parents for help (i was paying my own accomodation fees, uni fees and had a student loan for living, they helped with literally nothing). My dad then said that he would sell my car to cover the cost to help me out (baring in mind the car was my birthday presblent from 2 years ago and was worth 4500) he sold my car and gave me 1300.

Aibu to think that this was fcking shit of them to do this? Or perhaps they were trying to teach me a lesson? This happened 5 years ago bow but i still dont understand why, when id never asked for help before, they dont help me financially at all since me being 15 and they are extreamly well off?

and the reason i put on here was it cam up in conversation with my partner and it made me think. also ive never had a sit down discussion with my parents as my mum is an in-denial alcoholic who drinks and gets very emotional and abusive, so tbh, i cant be arsed with her doing than and going on facebook and posting something like 'oh so now im a shite mum now am i' as she has done before. so thought id vent here, kind of wish i hadnt now but hey.

You don't seem to have a very good grasp of finances OP.

Not realising a car depreciates really quickly.

Blowing £1300 on a weekend when you are apparently on the bones of your arse scrimping through university.

Having a baby when you're skint and have only been working 1 year.

Going back to university when you're skint and need to be earning.

Your parents maybe just want you to start making financially responsible decisions.

The jealousy and nastiness towards the OP on this thread is really horrible.

I hate when people disagree with someone or question something it's called jealousy :s

I'm personally not jealous but I do disagree with spending 1300 on a night out and not thinking about the consequences.

There are some very odd responses on this thread people troll hunting.. I mean why? If it is a troll it's an awfully boring one (no offence op!).

amarock- wow so now my baby was a mistake?

the reason i am going to uni again is to get a job where i have career prospects...you know...to make money...to live??

i went to uni the first time as at 18 you have no idea what you want to do in life and thats what you do if you have decent grades, go to uni (or most people do if they are able) .

its only once you grow up and start to suport yourself (in your own flat and bills etc not just living at home) you realise ok i thought i could get a job in the degree ive done, but i cant so i can either A. get a minimum wage job that doesnt cover the bills or i can B. go back to uni, this time with fresh eyes and choose something i will definatley get a job in to support my family.

at 18 yes, i didnt have the grasp i have now on finances, not many 18 year olds do. also, i made a mistake, that i now regret. alot. this has made me aware of taking care of my finances impeckable since - i have to, i dont have a penny to spare. im sure not everyone here can say at 18 they never made any mistakes.

and if you'd actualy read my posts, id not been working for a year, id been working the whole time, i only took a year off (as in no uni, but still working full time) whilst i was pregant! and it was a planned pregnancy you ignorant twit

I've not seen anyone troll hunting I don't think? I believe the OP is being a bit economical with what she is an isn't telling us but I certainly believe it happened. She wouldn't be the first to fib to make sure the big gaps in the story aren't filled with accurate speculation that doesn't make her look great.

No but I'm sure there are very, very few people who have spent £1300 in a weekend. I don't even know how anyone could manage that? People I knew at university who had a mad weekend spent about 200 quid.

I didn't say your baby was a mistake. But it doesn't sound like you had your finances sorted out. Which is why you're struggling.

Don't resent your parents for that. You still got a £1300 (plus the amount of depreciation, probably several thousand) 18th birthday present from your parents, which is exceptionally generous of them.

If I'd made that sort of 'mistake' (no one spends that kind of money by accident, even if they do think they have more coming), I'd have had no one to bail me out and nothing to sell.

Woe is you. You have made your choices. Life is hard.

woe is you...i have the feeling your rather old.

i also change my course and finish this course at age 24. I meet partner, have child and have year out. I then work for a year. Now at age 27 i go back to uni to do a masters in another feild.

That's what you said. Anyway, you're determined to be hard done by. That won't help you. Your parents aren't and never have been the type to bail you out and want to spend their money on themselves, as is their prerogative. Although not many people get bought a car for their 18th, so maybe don't be too angry.

Stop looking to them to financially cushion you from your own choices and you'll not feel so resentful and envious.

I don't see what my age has to do with anything. I'm not exactly ancient.

I can remember what it was like to be a struggling student though. Never blew that kind of money on anything, ever.

I think he would have been lucky to get £1300 on autotrader.
Maybe the expensive gifts and Rolex watch and £300 wallpaper were bought on credit cards. I have an acquaintance who lives an apparently lush life from the outside - on credit cards - but is up to the gills in debt and a gnat's arse away from bankruptcy. I know this because she has asked to borrow money from me, but I don't have money to lend. I might be a cynical old git, but I'm struggling to believe most of this as the story develops. It's beyond reason for a father to buy his wife a range rover and a Rolex, and for the wife to brag about it on social media while daughter and grandchild struggle to keep a roof over their heads.
This has veered wildly away from the original question.
I am prepared for the fallout this will likely generate, but I think (most) threads deserve a devil's advocate. Today I will risk being it.

It's beyond reason for a father to buy his wife a range rover and a Rolex, and for the wife to brag about it on social media while daughter and grandchild struggle to keep a roof over their heads
Without knowing the entire situation personally I don't think that I could agree with you.

The OP is 27 years old and has a partner maybe her family think that it is not their duty to support her anymore?

Or.................

Maybe the OP's parents are complete arseholes?

The point is that we don't know the whole situation.

I'm not quite sure why you're getting such a hard time OP.
MN is a strange place at times that's for sure.
For what it's worth, I totally get where you're coming from.
Have a with me and move on from this

Sorry to interrupt the thread - just wanted to let you all know we've got no reason to believe the OP is not genuine. Friday night plea for peace and love

Another one here wondering why the OP is having such a hard time. She explains things perfectly in her post at 20.38 re the choices she made. I'd be pissed off that the one time I ask for financial help the 'help' I get is selling something I was given as an 18th birthday present, without my say so, and 'only' being given £1300 for it (Dad probably pocketed the difference for his 'time, effort and inconvenience'). I'd certainly be suspicious that it sold for exactly the amount I asked for.

It sounds like they love money more than you and you might want to think about distancing yourself from them and spending more time with your lovely DP's family.

Stop looking to them to financially cushion you from your own choices and you'll not feel so resentful and envious.

She didn't or never has thought of them as a financial cushion!

I have children - I give them money to go to the pictures or swimming or a drink to play out - they have paper rounds and spend their money on extras

If I could bail them out of any situation I would, and no I would sell a gift given - they will be hopefully responsible to pay it back -

DD has just asked for a loan of £1 in the shop and fetched it as soon as we got home.. She's 11.

There's some nasty posters on here tonight!
OP you made a mistake. Think they could have handled it better.
Get a copy of parenting from the inside out. It'll help you understand the impact of how you were parenting has on your own parenting of children. Having a child of your own is often a time of exploring those relationships and reflecting on past issues.

I think there is a lot of poetic licence going on here...

It was 5 years ago, if I have read correctly. Time to let it go.

7 years ago, apparently. OP is 27 and this happened when she was 20.

Id be raging with my child and yes would do the same as your dad. 1300 over a weekend is very irresponsible and its a decent lesson. And 4500 two years earlier wont be 4500 two years later.
YABU