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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand the parents jetting off on summer hols, but leaving their kids behind??

269 replies

ICoriander · 19/08/2016 15:24

I just really, really don't get it.

Just seen on fb some friends doing the obligatory airport pic before jetting off abroad, whilst their 2 kids (around 8 and 11) are sent off to grandparents for the week. The kids usually spend their whole summer holidays with family so the couple can work, but they always take a week away themselves during that time. I could maybe understand it if they were doing a family holiday abroad, then one on their own, but the kids don't ever go.

Obviously none of my business, but it makes me irrationally angry, as it seems so selfish. I have dc of similar ages, and would never take the opportunity to go on holiday with dh without them; we'd be lost!

Is it just me??

OP posts:
dontcallmethatyoucunt · 19/08/2016 16:12

If that's their main holiday as a family and the parents are one location and the kids are another, well yes that's weird

MarcelineTheVampire · 19/08/2016 16:12

OP don't worry I'm right there with you- MN is actually ridiculous at times.

SparrowSG · 19/08/2016 16:12

We (brother and I) spent a lot of time at my grandparents during the holidays and we both loved it, would not have changed it for the world. It also meant we were close to them even though they were not local. Appreciated that time and the memories even more now they are no longer with us.

Original poster
ICoriander · 19/08/2016 16:13

MN is like parallel universe sometimes.

Oh yes!

OP posts:
BerriesandLeaves · 19/08/2016 16:13

When do the grandparents get a break if they do full time childcare over the school holidays and then get to have them when the parents go off on holiday too? Confused

NellyMelly · 19/08/2016 16:13

It's nice that the grandparents can look after the kids. Great times and a relaxing holiday for the parents

NotYoda · 19/08/2016 16:14

Marceline

Your experience is not the same as everyone's. That's all it is.

cosmicglittergirl · 19/08/2016 16:14

Sounds marvellous.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 19/08/2016 16:15

OP... indeed, but you might want to check your smugness and back-patting because it's obnoxious.

We're all posting with our own experiences in mind. Our children are not the same ages, we might have different relationships with our parents who live in child-delightful/not child-delightful places or not have parents at all. We have different income levels and we might have done many trips for the children or indeed other expensive holidays in the year - or we might have no spare money at all.

Just try to think about the people you're posting alongside. There's nothing wrong with having an opinion - albeit a horribly judgemental one - but your own circumstance and situation mean absolutely nothing to anybody else who has their own.

neveradullmoment99 · 19/08/2016 16:16

I agree with you OP. If they NEVER take their children with them i think it is rubbish. I love taking my children. If i hadn't taken them, i would be constantly thinking about the things they would have loved to have seen. I think its important to have family time. I appreciate some alone time is good too but to never take them on holiday as a family is just plain selfish.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 19/08/2016 16:16

NotYoda has nailed it, she has. In fewer words.

LunaLoveg00d · 19/08/2016 16:16

we'd be lost

Well that says more about you than it does about your friends who are off without their kids. A bit of adult only time, freedom to lounge around and read books, drink cocktails and go sightseeing without little people and their constant Muuuuuuum is bliss.

I did not stop being me when I had my kids. Neither did my husband. My children do not define me and I am quite capable of having a great time without them there. We do not need to do everything together as a family unit.

There is nothing wrong with the kids spending quality time with grandparents and being thoroughly spoiled while parents take a break.

FarAwayHills · 19/08/2016 16:20

I guess it depends on the family circumstances and the ages of the children. A week somewhere very hot with very young kids can be really hard work. Some kids don't travel well, hate flying, don't sleep well in strange beds and its just not worth paying all that money for a week of whinging and moaning.

Personally I love holidays as a family but my DCs are older and enjoy it. That's not to say that I wouldn't also jump at a child free few days if we had the opportunity Grin

NotYoda · 19/08/2016 16:20

never

tthey don't "never take them on holiday as a family"

it's on page 1

Atenco · 19/08/2016 16:20

I was a single mother, but I really think that couples need to live as couples away from the children from time to time.

NotYoda · 19/08/2016 16:21

But do they take their kids on holiday?
Yes, they all had a week off and did a couple of days camping with friends, and days out to the local seaside etc

ivykaty44 · 19/08/2016 16:23

MN parallel universe....

When I was at school plenty of parents went on holiday without there DC, it's only on MN that there seems to be a fuss about holidaying without DC.
Location have friends in real life who have done the same and other friends who have left their entire family at home and holidayed alone.

I have friends that also holiday as family, some get on others fight.

ONly on MN would it be a problem to have different ways of holidaying

HeddaLettuce · 19/08/2016 16:23

Obviously none of my business, but it makes me irrationally angry, as it seems so selfish

You actually get ANGRY about other people holidays and family set ups? Are you really so bored that you spend time thinking about other peoples holiday arrangements?
Read a book, ffs.

HeddaLettuce · 19/08/2016 16:24

Obviously none of my business, but it makes me irrationally angry, as it seems so selfish

You actually get ANGRY about other people holidays and family set ups? Are you really so bored that you spend time thinking about other peoples holiday arrangements?
Read a book, ffs.

HeddaLettuce · 19/08/2016 16:24

Obviously none of my business, but it makes me irrationally angry, as it seems so selfish

You actually get ANGRY about other people holidays and family set ups? Are you really so bored that you spend time thinking about other peoples holiday arrangements?
Read a book, ffs.

Original poster
ICoriander · 19/08/2016 16:25

LyingWitch

I'm smug because I actually have a family I like and want to spend holidays with? Okay, I'm fine with being smug.

OP posts:
Hirosleaftunnel · 19/08/2016 16:26

YANBU I don't get it either. We have one DC, nearly 5, we live abroad. He has flown business long haul many times and seen the inside of some of the finest resorts and hotels across the globe. We have full time live in childcare but she never comes on holiday with us. That is family time. For her too as she goes home to see her grown up kids. I could not imagine enjoying even one night away from my beloved child.Grin

LuckySantangelo1 · 19/08/2016 16:29

I think everyone posting here likes their families, OP. It's not a competition though. Apart from in your head Confused

m0therofdragons · 19/08/2016 16:30

I don't get it either. A few people I know have left dc to go to New York for a week and they are baffled by dh and I as we are going but taking dc with us. Dh and I love travelling and want to share that passion with our dc. Plus I like spending time with my dc. They get to stay with grandparents so dh and I can go to work not so we can have a holiday, but then my dc sleep pretty well so sex isn't a problem for us.

Everyone has different priorities but it does feel like "me time" is over used and an excuse to be selfish. I'm not saying we should never be selfish but there's a balance and for me a holiday without dc isn't what I want - loads of time for that when my nest is empty.

MistressMerryWeather · 19/08/2016 16:30

I get what you are saying OP.

I have no problem being away from my children but I would feel a bit shit going abroad if it meant they didn't get a chance too.