to not understand the parents jetting off on summer hols, but leaving their kids behind??

[ICoriander]

I just really, really don't get it.

Just seen on fb some friends doing the obligatory airport pic before jetting off abroad, whilst their 2 kids (around 8 and 11) are sent off to grandparents for the week. The kids usually spend their whole summer holidays with family so the couple can work, but they always take a week away themselves during that time. I could maybe understand it if they were doing a family holiday abroad, then one on their own, but the kids don't ever go.

Obviously none of my business, but it makes me irrationally angry, as it seems so selfish. I have dc of similar ages, and would never take the opportunity to go on holiday with dh without them; we'd be lost!

Is it just me??

I see absolutely nothing wrong with what your friends are doing. I think it's a little odd that their doing this actually makes you angry. It's not exactly child neglect, is it? Are you slightly envious of their relationship?

Surely you were a couple before you had children
but we're not just a couple anymore, we're a family - that's a choice we made. Yes, maybe for a very special occasion we would, but not just our annual holiday!

it's just you

My childhood BF's parents used to do this.

She would stay with my family for the week.

She had never been abroad until a school trip to France aged 16.

Here parents were brazen about it. The reason was if they took BF they could only afford a 4 star hotel and cheap flights. If they went without her they could book premium flights and 5 star accommodation - this was obviously preferable than them "slumming" it where option one would make one of the family happy and option 2 makes 2 of the family happy - all very democratic hey

My parents could barely hide their contempt at the time - but did their best to make sure we did nice things (like theme parks, trips to the coast etc) when she was here so it was a holiday of sorts - and no, her parents never offered any money to mine for looking after her or even gave her any spending money - fuckers. Good job my parents were nice.

it's a shame you'd be lost without your children, but don't make them come on holiday to make yourself feel better

I don't have children, but I'd imagine an occasional holiday with just a partner is what keeps some people functioning as a couple.

And the kids must get spoiled rotten by their grandparents.

You'd be 'lost', OP? Are you unable to function as a person without your children then? I don't understand parents that are so tied up in their children that they cease to be people in their own right.

How do you like them apples then?

But do they take their kids on holiday?
Yes, they all had a week off and did a couple of days camping with friends, and days out to the local seaside etc.

I would love to go away just me and DH but I would only do it if I could afford to also take the kids way. It doesn't seem fair otherwise. My parents went away without us and it didn't bother me as we went other times, if we had never gone I think I would have been really upset though.

As long as the children are happy what's the issue?

So that's alright then!

It's what they do the rest of the time that's important, not what they do for holidays

Yabvvvvu its not like they are leaving their kids home alone. Sometimes you need couple time, as most of us dedicate our lives to our kids and make sacrifices for them, sometimes you have to be selfish a bit.

My parents did this, they had jobs that were busy in the summer, then grandparents would visit us for a week in September while parents went to Spain. We loved it and never begrudged them.

If you would be lost without the children on holiday, that says a lot about your relationship with dh.

People don't seem to be getting the point that these children aren't having any holidays with their parents.

Yabu.
Fine if it's not your cup of tea, each to his own. But to not 'understand' that others might enjoy this, is a bit thick.

Imperial

They do take their kids on holiday, just not abroad

Last year our family went camping in Wales, a week skiing, and a beach holiday in Spain. The kids favourite? Camping.

Imperial - yes they are. The OP just said so.

I actually think the divorce rate would be lower if more parents did this occasionally!

Given that they can't be teachers if they pass the kids around family all summer in order to work, the only bit not to understand is why the parents would go without kids during the school summer holidays when everywhere will be peak price, crowded and full of kids - surely it would make more sense to go in mid September (when the weather is often just as good as August or better) when it is cheaper and less busy, if you want to go on holiday without your children...

You'd be 'lost', OP? Are you unable to function as a person without your children then? I don't understand parents that are so tied up in their children that they cease to be people in their own right.
I'd be lost as I wouldn't be able to handle the guilt of leaving them behind. My eldest dd saw the pic and was horrified that they were going away without their dc. She said she would be so sad if we ever did that to her. Maybe we've made a rod, but I'm glad she knows she'll never be dumped off whilst I go gallivanting.

I'd love it. But I'm one of those determined guidebook-wielding tourists who will poke around ruins and museums for hours on end. DD would beg to be left behind.

How odd to be so wound up by someone else's holiday arrangements

Obviously if the children are happy with the situation then it is fine. I used to know someone whos parents were similar though and always left her behind when they went abroad. I always thought they were quite selfish. If you are only want holidays without children then perhaps don't have children and stick to being a "couple".

Well I guess some people are just not fit to be parents...

Perhaps some SAHP should do the decent, best thing for their children and find a full time job too. Actually, I do think that.

You're very judgemental OP. Do you friend a favour and drop her from your FB 'friends'.