To clean up?

[OhShitFuck]

At a friends house helping out with their 6month old son, I got here at 7am. They are both out working 6pm ish.. I have my DC with me and am too far from home to go home then be back for 6 (140 mile return journey).

The house is a total bomb site. In the kitchen is more fruit flies than I can count. Mouldy food all over and a foul smell in there.

In the bathroom are used sanitary towels out in the open. My youngest needed the toilet but the toilet is so dirty she actually wet herself rather than use the toilet. I was planning on bathing all the kids before we set off home but the bath is so dirty id rather them wait till tomorrow.

Pleas bare in mind we'll be here till 6 so we'll be using the bathroom and I'll be cooking a little later for the kids.

WIBU to clean up to make us a little more comfortable?

YANBU? I would do a full on clean of communal areas. Bin everything in the open. Used San products in the open?! When she knew you were coming?!

I would have already cracked on!

How are you meant to feed the kids in a shit tip like that?

How good friends are you?

With a six month old and both working ft (?) they're probably up against it. If it was me I'd appreciate the help.

You know your friends best though. Do you think they would mind?

I wouldn't be able to help myself.

At least do the bathroom and kitchen.

Yep as others have said. Clean areas your dd will be in/need to use

I wouldn't be able to touch used sanpro

I'd take all the kids home then send your friends a message telling them their house was too unhygienic to have your children in, you've taken them home and to pick the baby up from yours

I'm sorry but that is revolting and it sounds like they need a kick up the arse, not you cleaning up for them
Poor baby having to live like that

They trust u with their baby!!
Sure they trust u to clean up!!

I'm absolutely gobsmacked that someone has left used sanpro out in the open knowing that they're having people over. I'd clean. And they'd get a very short thrift if they objected when they got back.

Good grief, I can't believe they've let it get so bad and left it even though they knew you were coming.

They're obviously struggling though so I would don my rubber gloves and at least do the kitchen and bathroom and if I had time sort any rubbish/ clutter in the other communal areas.

It sounds like they've not been able to manage it for while and it's got too big a job for them to tackle.

I do know some people who'd be majorly upset at another person cleaning their house, even if it really needs it.

Why not text your friends and say something like "mind if I do a bit of cleaning in kitchen / bathroom etc if I get a minute?"

Would your friend be eternally grateful or think you were an interfering cow?

Has she always been lax in cleaning or is this a new thing? What about her partner?
Assuming she has been on maternity leave until recently maybe she has PND or is having a hard time adjusting to going back to work with juggling everything else.

Could you go out for the day instead. Lical soft play or something?

*local

I understand that people can be offended if someone felt the need to clean their house however as the visitor I'd be more offended that I'd walked into that with my own children. Especially as you have to spend the day there. It wasn't like you turned up unannounced and caught them on the hop. I have a 2.6 dd who is into absolutely everything. I'm shuddering at the thought of what she'd literally pick up. Also they have a 6 month old and work ft. No one would expect an immaculate house but come on if it's that bad there's no standards what's so ever.

Do it!

Was it a last minute arrangement?

If they knew you were coming it is appalling they left the house in such a state.

Last minute or not, who doesn't have the time to pick up bloody sanitary towels and put them in the bin before they leave?

By 3pm yesterday they knew I was coming. I'm friends with him, I don't really know her, only met once for an hour.

I've cleaned the kitchen and I've managed to get 3 bin liners fill out of it.

I'm disgusted tbh. I really am.

It's been like this every time I've come, but I've never been here for more than an hour or at most.

I actually had gloves in the car so I used them to clean kitchen. Still got bathroom to do. Even if I just clean the loo.

Can't have anyone wetting themselves again because they feel they'd rather do that than go on that loo.

3 bin liners just from the kitchen? The place must be beyond grim.

I might get flamed for this but that sounds like neglect. A baby needs bottles pacifiers sterilized for a reason. Why should a baby have to live in this filth?

So they are both as bad as each other then.
It that case I would have to tell the friend that his child should not have to grow up in a filthy home and he should shift his lazy arse and clean up.
I also wouldn't babysit again.

I just can't imagine any woman wanting anyone else seeing their used sanitary towels. Gross.

That's so gross. I'd have to say something.

Sounds rank!

We had a 6 month old and both worked FT and I have never left used sanitary towels out

Depends how good a friend he is TBH.

If a really good friend, I'd clean up, have a chat afterwards and see how they're doing / reasons for this

If just a so-so friend... Not sure I'd be going back

Fuck what they think. If I was staying for the day I'd clean up AND NEVER GO BACK.