Someone trying to convince me that my baby 'looks a bit funny'

[theothermcoy]

Went out with a group of friends for drinks and one of them spent part of the night trying to convince me that my baby 'looks funny' by pointing out various body parts that 'look odd' and laughing at various pics of him. Friend also started a long rant about how he was much less attractive than his big brother and how she prefers my older DC to the baby.

The person in question has form for making rude comments (especially after a drink or two), however they're currently going through a healthy scare so I'm not sure whether to just let it slide or to take issue with it.

I'm partly annoyed at myself for not standing up for my baby more. I made a few comments about her being out of order but was told that my opinion was clouded by hormones and I wasn't able to be objective.

WIBU to keep supporting my friend but at the same time put a bit of distance between us?

Shes not your friend and yes you should have said something whilst she was insulting your baby.

Wtf? She's a bitch. Yes some babies do look a bit odd but you don't TELL the parents that. I've had friends have some very weird looking babies (who've then grown into beautiful children) but always just said how cute they were.

Maybe it is the health scare, or could she be trying unsuccessfully/just had a miscarriage and it's coming out that way because she's upset?

I wouldn't have anything more to do with her TBH. Health scare doesn't excuse her being vile and minimising your feelings. 'Clouded by hormones', how patronising.

Gosh that's rude and nasty. I can't believe she kept at it with the 'you are not objective' comments. I would restate and if no apology I would distance myself.

You are not meant to be objective. It's your child ffs. She is horrid and should be binned asap.

Don't support her! She knew what she was doing. Being a cow and a nasty one at that.

Dump her but first...tell her why. Then block her so she can't retaliate.

She is not a friend.

And the phrase you were looking for is "no, i am not objective, they are both my children and i adore them and you are being incredibly rude - would you like it if i picked apart and was horrible about pictures of your child/cat/dog/you (delete as appropriate)."

Cheeky bitch! You are a much nicer person than I am... I would have pointed out everything about her I thought was unattractive, starting with her shitty attitude.

Having a health scare doesn't give her the right to behave as she likes. I'd step back and wait for her to contact you to apologise.

Wtf! Who the hell is mean about a baby?!

I would definitely be distancing myself. She sounds very rude. A health scare doesn't give you permission to say nasty things to people, especially about an innocent baby. I am sure you baby is lovely.

Depends if you want to be friends with a bitch or not

Wow, she sounds like a shit. Health scare or not you don't ever insult someone's children. It's like insulting someone's Grandma. But worse.

As for 'clouded by hormones' she's using that to put you down so that your disgust at her words isn't valid. Utter nonsense, she's rude no matter which way she tries to disguise it. Could you message her this morning and say "I'm disgusted with how you spoke about my child last night. You might be going through a rough time but that's not an excuse to behave so dreadfully. When you're ready to apologise please let me know."

Even if you think someone's baby looks 'odd', or ugly, why would you point it out? It's not like the Parents are going to say "you're right I'll go immediately and swap him".

Btw, I don't consider that babies can look 'odd'.

She needs telling straight and to be kept at arms length.

I would of punch the bitch in the face, as if she had the brass neck to talk about your baby like that infront of people. I would drop the bitch immediately and I'd be telling people why.

I would not be supporting her! I know plenty of people who have had health scares or even suffered awful illnesses who would never dream of insulting my children. Bin her.

Oh poor you op. She is not your friend. She sounds jealous. I would text her this morning and tell her you were disgusted at her behaviour last night. Does she have any children?

And no I would not support her. There is no excuse for what she did.

What a total bitch. Once you could excuse if drunk / in a bad way, but after you asked her to stop and told her she was out of order, she was just plain nasty to continue. Does she criticise the way adults look too?

Tbh she just doesn't sound like a nice person and you don't owe her anything.

Fwiw most babies are a bit funny looking, it's part of their charm!

is he a bit funny looking?

She wouldn't be getting the chance to make any more comments if it were me. A lot of us have had health scares, and more than scares, there's a big difference between being a bit grumpy or anxious and being cruel and nasty.

Thanks for your responses, I think it's confirmed what I thought - that I shouldn't just let it slide and need to stand up for my baby and myself. She does have a DC who plays well with my older DC when we all meet up so it would be a shame to cut all contact.

I think I'm more annoyed at myself for not taking more of a stand.

There are two words you should say to this "friend" fuck and off!

She's a nasty spiteful bitch who is getting pleasure out of making your feel shit. She is not your friend. Ditch her and don't look back and if she acts all bewildered about it then make sure you tell her exactly why.

Whether your baby looks a bit funny or not, it's not the done thing to say so unless it's done tactfully, privately and out of genuine concern that it might be a sign of an undiagnosed syndrome or medical issue. And even then you need to tread very carefully or just keep your thoughts to yourself.