Someone trying to convince me that my baby 'looks a bit funny'

[theothermcoy]

Went out with a group of friends for drinks and one of them spent part of the night trying to convince me that my baby 'looks funny' by pointing out various body parts that 'look odd' and laughing at various pics of him. Friend also started a long rant about how he was much less attractive than his big brother and how she prefers my older DC to the baby.

The person in question has form for making rude comments (especially after a drink or two), however they're currently going through a healthy scare so I'm not sure whether to just let it slide or to take issue with it.

I'm partly annoyed at myself for not standing up for my baby more. I made a few comments about her being out of order but was told that my opinion was clouded by hormones and I wasn't able to be objective.

WIBU to keep supporting my friend but at the same time put a bit of distance between us?

Oh put the pearls away - - Childless clot as in Clot stupid person Childless- not had a child yet so unaware that you never ever tell a mother their child is anything less than gorgous. Plenty don't "get it" until they've experienced that fierce protectiveness (and to save those poor pearls more shaking plenty doesn't mean all)

To you childless is clearly an insult- which makes YOU a bit of a clot -it's descriptive not an insult (unless you are some kind of snowflake looking to find issues where none exist -Grow UP !!)

That's horribly bitchy. She's probably got her own issues but that's not an excuse

come on AlMinzerAndHisPyramidOfDogs don't sit on the fence....

Since when was childless an insult?

And she was a clot, yes that's an insult but totally deserved in this instance.

I think the childless clot comment was just meant to mean that only someone who didn't have children (for whatever reason, by choice or otherwise) could be insensitive enough to criticise the appearance of a small baby to its mother.

I don't think that it was meant to imply that the woman was a clot because she was childless.

Sorry, need to explain myself further there

Of course not all childless/child-free people are insensitive, just that someone who is a mother would usually understand that saying anything remotely critical about a child's appearance to its mother is totally taboo and very hurtful, and just not go there unless they were a total bitch.

Some people who are child free by choice do seem to really enjoy going on very loudly about how much they detest 'brats' and 'whiney ankle biters' and 'oh no, not for me thanks, uurgh!' but even they usually stop short of insulting an actual baby.

Fuck her. I wouldn't care how well the children got on I'd never see her again. I'm sure your DC has other friends they can play with, ones without a bitch of a mother.

Text her, tell her she's a bitch and never to contact you again.

^^This

OP you've had lots of clear backing on here that your gut reaction was right and your 'friend' is actually your enemy.

Please say you'll get yourself free from her!

YABU to take any notice of her. Ignore. Not worth your concern, or a thread.

Awful person, she doesn't deserve your friendship or support, what a cuntish way to behave. And people who can be so awful will surely continue to be so.
Get rid and enjoy your beautiful baby.

Thanks for all the responses and support.

She can be lovely and is nice on more occasions than she is mean so will be letting her know it was out of order and I won't tolerate those kinds of comments at all. I will decide what to do based on her response but will be keeping more of distance in future.

I'm a bit gobsmacked at hoddtastic asking "Is he a bit funny looking?"

Are you the OP's "friend" then hodd?

Or are you one of these insufferable people who "call it as it is"?

OP - I've seen all sorts of babies in my time and even if I privately thought a baby was "interesting" looking I would never ever say it out loud.

Fucking rude and unpleasant that is.

Traf person:

Wow. You are spitting feathers. Calm down. Lol

She is NOT a friend and you know it OP. One of my friends had (to be completely honest) very ugly babies but they both grew into adorable toddlers, it's the strangest thing! However, the only comments I ever made and would ever make is that they were beautiful! Someone who makes completely unneeded nasty comments about a baby to the baby's mother is basically a bitch.

She is not your friend, a friend would never try and hurt you by saying unkind things about your baby, it sounds like she is jealous of you. Whether she thinks it or not why is it so important to her that she actually needs to point it out in pictures? I would drop contact with her unless she genuinely apologises to you, it would make me uncomfortable spending time with her though.

"Delicate person" No ruffled feathers just exasperation with those who try to find offence where none exists .....it's a strange hobby to have.

I wouldn't want the child she prefers anywhere near her and I'd not be encouraging the friendship .

Friend?
She's a total bitch.

God they dont sound like friends....even if you thought it you would never say that about someones baby! I would ditch them and enjoy your lovley baby, please dont let the bastards take away from your enjoyment of your new baby

OK. Was she trying to say that she thinks all babies look funny to her and she prefers your eldest because s/he looks like a person? It doesn't justify her persistence or hwr comments but perhaps it came out wrong? Clutching at straws.
Otherwise, unless she has a mental health issue, she is not your friend, and I wouldn't want my older child playing with her in case of what she says.

The only appropriate response to a baby picture is "awww he/she is so gorgeous. Look at those squishy little cheeks. Adorable". Whether the baby looks like a potato crossed with an aubergine is utterly beside the point. All babies are scrumptious to their parents and you never ever say anything to the contrary.

I agree with PP - she has children. She knows how she would feel if someone said that about her child. She went for the jugular and did the utmost to hurt you.

Drink is not an excuse. It's a tongue loosener. I'm going through a tough patch at the moment but I would not say anything like that about someone else's child even with a drink. She's shown her colours - sack her. The children will bounce back and meet new friends.

I agree with the others who say she knew what she was doing.

The question is why was she doing it?

Either way, you are right to distance yourself. What she said is unforgivable and unforgettable too.

Your "friend" set out to hurt you, deliberately and aimed straight at your heart, then cut you down when you tried to defend yourself and yours. That's no friend regardless of what she's going through.

No one wants to hear the their child is funny looking, whatever age the child is. My 13 yo DD dropped something round to a work colleague for me; he told me the next day that DD 'had unfortunate looks, but perhaps she'd blossom later'!
It took all my self control not to ask if he was worried about his sons quite pronounced bulging eyes, and his daughter really strange looking teeth (both really quite striking, but obviously he (quite rightly) saw his own kids as beautiful).

Billy that's fucking awful! I am usually very non-confrontational and let below the belt comments appear to wash over me for an easy life but I don't think I could have tolerated that without saying 'Are you fucking joking me? Did you look at your own children lately, with their bulgy eyes and horrible teeth? Hardly drop dead gorgeous, are they?'

What a rude prick.