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AIBU?

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Original poster

Someone trying to convince me that my baby 'looks a bit funny'

102 replies

theothermcoy · 19/08/2016 08:44

Went out with a group of friends for drinks and one of them spent part of the night trying to convince me that my baby 'looks funny' by pointing out various body parts that 'look odd' and laughing at various pics of him. Friend also started a long rant about how he was much less attractive than his big brother and how she prefers my older DC to the baby.

The person in question has form for making rude comments (especially after a drink or two), however they're currently going through a healthy scare so I'm not sure whether to just let it slide or to take issue with it.

I'm partly annoyed at myself for not standing up for my baby more. I made a few comments about her being out of order but was told that my opinion was clouded by hormones and I wasn't able to be objective.

WIBU to keep supporting my friend but at the same time put a bit of distance between us?

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 19/08/2016 09:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JudyCoolibar · 19/08/2016 09:13

Was she drunk? Not that that's much of an excuse anyway.

DerelictMyBalls · 19/08/2016 09:13

How on Earth did you manage to avoid slapping her?

Get rid.

Whatever someone's baby looks like, you tell the parents it is cute. I don't see how it benefits a parent to be made aware that people think their baby is funny-looking. Most parents are blind to their children's physical shortcomings and that's absolutely the way it should be.

trafalgargal · 19/08/2016 09:13

I was imagining a childless clot but she's a mother she knows you never tell another Mum their child is not gorgeous. She's a bitch or a nasty drunk. I wouldn't let any kid anywhere near her.

You were out with a group. What did the rest of the group make of her horrible behaviour ?

headinhands · 19/08/2016 09:16

Aww op you don't need to worry about sticking up for your gorgeous baby, it won't affect them what your dc thinks.

I had a friend that thought nothing of making veiled or negative comments about my dc's looks/preferences. We're not friends anymore, not because of that but because in general she wasn't kind.

Northernlight22 · 19/08/2016 09:16

How horrible. I'd Text her and tell her she was out of order.

headinhands · 19/08/2016 09:16

Sorry, what your friend thinks.

Xenadog · 19/08/2016 09:17

I think I would call her and tell her exactly how rude and bitchy her comments were. I'd then let her know never to contact me again and if she had the temerity to try to down play or ague with me I'd be telling her I hoped her health scare was going to prove to more serious than just a scare - but then I am a bitch.

Even if you think a baby is odd looking you never comment on it and then tell the mother of said child she is hormonal for defending her baby. In fact as I'm writing this I'm getting angry. Maybe just call her and tell her to FOAD!

MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 19/08/2016 09:19

Drink has nothing to do with this neither does the health scare. I have had a health scare very recently that required exploratory surgery and I didn't act like a bitch.

toptoe · 19/08/2016 09:19

She offended you on purpose, then told you should not be offended. Unkind person. Disengage.

Lilacpink40 · 19/08/2016 09:19

Sounds as though she has something against you, possibly jeolous of you for some reason, and she's going for your heart by going for your baby. Pure spite.

You could speak to her when you're both sober, but personally I'd cut all ties in a 'back away slowly' approach.

Less time with her gives you time to build genuine friendships with people who will value you.

Original poster
theothermcoy · 19/08/2016 09:21

She had had a few drinks which I suppose goes some of the way to explaining her behaviour.

The other member of the group in earshot said that she was being unfair, but she just kept on trying to convince us even more that she was right. I could have brushed off an offhand comment but it was more than that.

She has asked to take older DC with her DC out on her own before but not sure that it would be such a good idea if there's the possibility she would make comments within earshot of him.

OP posts:
trafalgargal · 19/08/2016 09:21

Why would you want to continue supporting anyone who repays your support in this way ? sHE might prefer your elder child but in your shoes I'd prefer someone so nasty stayed well clear of any of my children.

I'd text her telling her I found her comments about your child very upsetting and see how she responds but unless an unreserved apology was the reply I'd ditch her. (Usually I'd just ditch but as she's ill she could have had a bad reaction from her drugs with alcohol so she'd get that one chance to put things right)

FallenStar3 · 19/08/2016 09:25

Are you for real this woman bashed your child infront of you, you didn't stand up for him and continue a friendship with her. I would tear her apart using her own insecurities, see how she liked it. She was picking on a poor defenceless baby and infront of everyone aswell alcohol is no excuse!

ShelaghTurner · 19/08/2016 09:26

Fuck that for a laugh. It's lower than a snake's belly to insult a baby and even lower than that to say it to the mother.

That'd be the end of that 'friendship' for me and she can stick her elder child's friendship where the sun doesn't shine. It's a shame for your child but rather that than him being exposed to such nasty wankery.

Oh and in the cold light of day I'd tell her exactly why she could get stuffed.

TwoLittleBlooms · 19/08/2016 09:28

She is no friend, she sounds atrocious. The drink or poor health does not equate to a right to be nasty. I personally wouldn't be willing to stand by and support someone who was horrible to my children.

AnotherUsernameBitesTheDust · 19/08/2016 09:28

Fuck her. I wouldn't care how well the children got on I'd never see her again. I'm sure your DC has other friends they can play with, ones without a bitch of a mother.

Text her, tell her she's a bitch and never to contact you again.

ZansSerif · 19/08/2016 09:28

So rude and hurtful - to be kind, I'd guess she's acting out in some way - she's just insecure, she's jealous etc. It's not OK though.

DS had a very flat, wide head as a baby and his mouth was wonky, I could see that. However all my friends said he was gorgeous and so he was! Every newborn is gorgeous especially to their mum, and you do not pick apart a baby's looks!

Plus when you have just had a baby you feel a bit tired and wobbly and it's not always easy to stand up to people, IME.

I'd certainly be avoiding her for a bit.

raisedbyguineapigs · 19/08/2016 09:28

Your child will make other friends, hopefully without nasty bitches as mothers. There is no excuse for her behaviour and if people excuse it then she will do it all over again.

raisedbyguineapigs · 19/08/2016 09:28

Your child will make other friends, hopefully without nasty bitches as mothers. There is no excuse for her behaviour and if people excuse it then she will do it all over again.

TooGood2BeFalse · 19/08/2016 09:33

I don't know how you restrained yourself. I would've gone batshit, and I'm definitely not overly 'precious' over my children but she was actually insulting!!

Second those that say your DC can make other friends. It is so not worth exposing yourself or your kids to someone so vile

Mablethorpe · 19/08/2016 09:34

I feel sorry for you that this so called friend said such horrid things about your baby.

If this was me, and regardless of whether she's having a tough time of it with health etc, I'd have to explain that put friendship was no longer viable and then block and ignore her.

Seriously, people are fucked up.

Sparklesilverglitter · 19/08/2016 09:39

Whatever is going on in your friends life, she doesn't have a green card to be rude! I also never buy the ooh I'd had a few drinks again to me that isn't a green pass to be rude

How insults a baby? Not a very good friend OP

Even if somebody you know has a baby that you feel isn't the cutest ( and I'm not saying your baby isn't cute) you NEVER insult the poor child you smile and like everyone else say oh isn't he/she gorgeous

DaDman66 · 19/08/2016 09:42

My brother told me my boy looked like an alien when he was born.

I gave him a jab in the ribs and pointed out he's never had a girlfriend at the age of 37.

Tell them to gtfo.

dailymaillazyjournos · 19/08/2016 09:47

is he funny looking
I think you are missing the point here hoddtastic. It doesn't matter what the OPs baby looks like. A friend doesn't try to convince a parent that their child looks funny. It's a totally shit thing to do.