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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you had this physical 'quirk' would you try and rectify it? AIBU and superficial?

193 replies

EarryMcCleery · 16/08/2016 16:39

Firstly I am going to get these pictures deleted after a while as it's very embarrassing.

Ive always hated my ears. They are a weird shape. One is slightly better than the other as you can see from the pictures.

I debated for years before getting my ears pierced.

if you had these ears, would you seek correctional surgery?

Are they very unsightly?

I mostly wear my hair down.

Please be honest!

I wonder if this kind of surgery is even possible?

Thanks for reading.

I'm aware that there are more important things and that my hearing is perfect so I'm really lucky but... Sad

If you had this physical 'quirk' would you try and rectify it? AIBU and superficial?
If you had this physical 'quirk' would you try and rectify it? AIBU and superficial?
OP posts:
ivyonmywalls · 16/08/2016 17:37

Your ears look great. They're dainty looking and sit close to your head.
You have nothing to worry about.
A lot of people would like your ears.

EatDickShrek · 16/08/2016 17:38

I would love my ears to have a more elfin slant at the back. It's the only cosmetic surgery I've ever considered. But don't worry study after study have shown that humans don't notice each other even half as much as we think they do, they're too busy worry about others looking at them.

WeekendAway · 16/08/2016 17:38

They are a slightly unusual shape, but not remotely odd or unpleasant to look at in any way. I would certainly not spend any money on correcting them - that would be the biggest waste of money ever!

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho · 16/08/2016 17:43

Another one here who thinks they look perfectly fine. Smile

When I was a child I knew a very old man with very pointy ears. I thought he must be magic (long white beard too!) Grin.

(Yours are nothing like his btw just made me think of it!)

YouAreMyRain · 16/08/2016 17:48

I am shocked at how normal they look. I can't believe how much they bother you. I wouldn't even notice the slight point on the one unless someone made a big thing about it.

CharminglyGawky · 16/08/2016 17:48

It took me ages to spot what was wrong and that was whilst staring at an enlarged image. In real life I would never have noticed because there is nothing to notice! Really there isn't, yes they look slightly different to my ears but all ears look a bit different anyway and yours are perfectly normal!

I have a small kink in one of my ears, it's genetic and it never even occurred to me to worry about it. I once mentioned it to my best friend who I had known for over 15 years, she made me show her what I was on about because she had never noticed it. People really don't notice ears!

cherryplumbanana · 16/08/2016 17:50

I honestly can't see anything wrong or weird with your ears at all. (and I agree, your hair looks lovely)

If I was meeting you, I would absolutely notice your hair, your shoes, your clothes, your make up, your handbag (in that order) and I might notice your earrings (might, I don't really pay attention to these things), but I wouldn't give a thought about your ears!

However, if your ears have been bothering you for more than 20 years, I would investigate plastic surgery (if that's even possible? ask a real plastic surgeon, not some beautician with no training), then make the decision to either spend whatever it costs, or to accept them and move on. We are lucky to have the choice of improving our appearances, so I am all for reasonable plastic surgery. Its a wonder.

I personally think people like Angelina Jolie, Sharon Osbourne and even Kate Middleton all look definitively prettier after having something done. Melanie Griffith and Tara Reid not so much. Know the risks and know when to stop please!

gillybeanz · 16/08/2016 17:51

I don't see your problem tbh, but sympathise because you obviously do.
I know they look normal to me, and I wouldn't notice anything different about your ears, honestly. Thanks

JinkxMonsoon · 16/08/2016 17:55

I guarantee that next to nobody would even notice, and if they did, I doubt they'd comment on it. And if they DID comment, you can either say you were born this way, or make up a story about a horrific accident Grin

FeralBeryl · 16/08/2016 17:56

Sorry I haven't RTFT yet as I'm supposedly cooking tea, I think your ears are perfectly fine and if they were mine I wouldn't touch them.
I just wanted to suggest (if you are unconvincible Wink) to look into having a ridge of hyaluronic acid filler placed along the top to 'create ' a ridge for you. Far less drastic and risky than surgery.
But like I say, I think they are lovely Flowers

Minisoksmakehardwork · 16/08/2016 17:57

But mental health is an NHS issue Shiny and if it's getting to the point where it's ruling the OP's life - and asking a bunch of strangers shows itsnpreygnon on OP's mind excessively - would you not even refer on to a plastic surgeon for their opinion. As this is exactly what happened with our ds2. The GP wasn't qualified to say whether or not there was anything that could be done, but completely understood our fears as parents that it might become a superficial issue as he got older.

The plastic surgeon also saw our concern and completely agreed with us. The result was the 'blob' was cut off and the lobe stitched rather than formed into a proper ear lobe like his other one. The plastic surgeon even said we could be referred to him again as ds2 grows up if the lack of lobe causes any concern.

Now this is something I don't feel is necessary. Although dh disagreed with me initially.

But I don't agree with someone blocking access to another person who might be able to advise whether anything could be done or whether the risks are greater than the result would be based on general rather than specialist knowledge.

ilovewelshrarebit123 · 16/08/2016 17:58

From someone who had her ears pinned back when I was 10, they look fine.

My brother has one ear exactly the same as yours, as does his 9 year old daughter. No one has ever noticed.

I understand you don't like them, but I bet no one notices!

Pikawhoo · 16/08/2016 18:01

Your ears are lovely.

Ears are a weird body part, though. Having thought about it for too long now I am beginning to think that all ears look a bit odd. They do, though, don't they?!!

Lovecat · 16/08/2016 18:02

You have the same ears as me! (apologies for rubbish pictures)

And I understand why they bother you, mostly I go along not really thinking about them, as no-one else sees it (seriously, I said to DH years ago that if I could change any part of my body it would be my ears and he was completely bewildered as to what the problem is), but occasionally I think gaah, why do they look like someone's been chewing on them!

Seriously, they're fine :)

Footle · 16/08/2016 18:05

Decades ago when I was 8, I had my very soft, sticking out ears surgically corrected. They hadn't really bothered me but my dad thought I would be teased ( they were his ears first ). The op took a lot of recovering from in those days.

They started to hurt at night as I got older , and 20 years ago I had another op to sort out the pain ( sharp cartilage wearing through the skin ) and the rather odd paleness at the top of both ears - bad circulation ?

It hasn't worked all that well - they still get sore - and I wish they hadn't been messed about with in the first place. None of my kids or grandkids have them.

I have an adult child with bad scarring from an accident. She pays it no attention at all, and I'm so proud of her. She tells anyone who asks that she was bitten by a shark , and I suggest you do the same - if anyone even notices your sweet and quirky ear.

DianaMitford · 16/08/2016 18:07

I genuinely cannot see anything wrong with your ears. At all. And this comes from someone who constantly self analyses her looks based on her nose..... It's fucking awful

EarthboundMisfit · 16/08/2016 18:08

Your ears look lovely.

shinynewusername · 16/08/2016 18:10

Look, it is a piss easy consultation for me to say there is nothing I can do and refer someone to a plastic surgeon at a minimum cost to the NHS of £200 for an opinion, even if I know that there is next to no chance of surgery being funded. But the NHS is a finite resource. I see lots of MN threads complaining about waits for GP and hospital appointments, but there are thread after thread of posters being advised to see their GPs or demand hospital referrals for the most trivial issues. I also see heart-breaking threads about people with terrible PND or terrified about a breast lump who can't get a prompt GP appointment. There is a national shortage of GPs and the NHS is chronically underfunded. It is no skin off my nose if appointments are taken up with cosmetic issues. But it does matter to everyone who actually needed the appointment.

(Not having a go at you, OP - I know you didn't suggest seeing a GP).

And there is a hell of a difference between feeling self conscious about your ears so that you wear your hair down and having a mental health problem. Medicalising normal self consciousness about the body helps no one - it medicalises normal life and it trivialises the experience of people with genuine body dysphoria.

TopazRocks · 16/08/2016 18:17

ffs, do they work as ears? But that I mean can you hear well? That's all that matters IMO.

TopazRocks · 16/08/2016 18:17

By that , not But .....

KellyBoo800 · 16/08/2016 18:20

I wouldn't notice if you hadn't pointed it out....but they are very pretty ears!

BengalCatMum · 16/08/2016 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DelicatePreciousThing1 · 16/08/2016 18:23

Your ears look perfectly fine but if their appearance troubles you, then consult someone with the expertise to help.

ProseccoBitch · 16/08/2016 18:25

I'm baffled I'm afraid, they just look like ears? Am I missing something?

TheHubblesWindscreenWipers · 16/08/2016 18:25

What I thought when I saw the picture..

What am I looking at here? Is one different to the other...? Err... Oh they don't have a noticeable rolled bit at the top, I think that's a genetic thing like attached or free lobes right, I must look that up... No they look fine... Will check the thread to see what the issue is...

I didn't even notice the flattish bit until you pointed it out!

They're fine., really. Unless they give you any actual problems (a friend has non level ears and has a real issue wearing glasses) I'd really just leave them as they are. Put your hair up!