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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you had this physical 'quirk' would you try and rectify it? AIBU and superficial?

193 replies

EarryMcCleery · 16/08/2016 16:39

Firstly I am going to get these pictures deleted after a while as it's very embarrassing.

Ive always hated my ears. They are a weird shape. One is slightly better than the other as you can see from the pictures.

I debated for years before getting my ears pierced.

if you had these ears, would you seek correctional surgery?

Are they very unsightly?

I mostly wear my hair down.

Please be honest!

I wonder if this kind of surgery is even possible?

Thanks for reading.

I'm aware that there are more important things and that my hearing is perfect so I'm really lucky but... Sad

If you had this physical 'quirk' would you try and rectify it? AIBU and superficial?
If you had this physical 'quirk' would you try and rectify it? AIBU and superficial?
OP posts:
NovemberInDailyFailLand · 16/08/2016 17:08

Well, I can see what you mean about the flat bit, but I would never notice more than a fleeting second thought.

Idefix · 16/08/2016 17:09

Hi op I think that the condition that pp was trying to find is stahl ears. I have them, both my ears are very pointy.

My dn has your version of it and also only on one ear, looks normal too me Grin

blitheringbuzzards1234 · 16/08/2016 17:09

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your ears, go forth with pride.

MolesBreathless · 16/08/2016 17:10

shotgun It's interesting to hear you say that, its something I have also considered - I have already decided that if DD has in fact inherited my nose I would also pay for her to have the same procedure that I did.

MolesBreathless · 16/08/2016 17:10

(if she wants to, that is!)

Viviene · 16/08/2016 17:11

Not a chance in hell I'd have a surgery. If anyone ever asked I'd tell them I'm a hobbit/ elf but had to fit in so had the pointy bit cut off.
Your ears rock!

Viviene · 16/08/2016 17:12

I am actually quite jealous of your ears!

PacificDogwod · 16/08/2016 17:13

"Proposed methods for the surgical correction of a flat helix are complex and the final result is somewhat unpredictable."

from here

I'd leave well alone.
They are lovely ears, nobody is actually 'looking at them', and surgery to the cartilage of the ear is fraught with potential difficulties.

Sallystyle · 16/08/2016 17:13

I can see how it looks like you have some ear missing on the enlarged photo but I actually think it looks really cute!

EllyMayClampett · 16/08/2016 17:13

Your ears look fine! Stop obsessing.

PapaEmeritus · 16/08/2016 17:14

Nothing wrong with your ears, honestly. They are pretty.

I have a very "deformed" ear, I've had reconstructive surgery on it a few times after removing tumours and its very lumpy and covered in scars. Although I'm a naturally self conscious person, I really don't care about that ear. If I mention it to people, they mostly claim they've never noticed. I don't know... I'm not sure many people go around checking out ears. You're fine.

CafeCremeMerci · 16/08/2016 17:15

You wanted honesty...here goes...

I can honestly say I'd probably never have noticed your ears.

If I had noticed and given them any thought (seriously highly unlikely) I'd have thought the right one was a little flat, not curled in, and possibly have wondered if something had happened to the left one. This would have taken about 3 seconds, then I'd have gone back to being envious of your hair, weight, whatever or being thinking about something unrelated.

Most people will not even notice, f they do they might have a very fleeting though of 'I wonder what happened' then move on. It's not like you'll be pointed at or remembered for your ears. Honestly.

I'd think you were MAD if you had them operated on and I can't think that it would make them any better, worse more likely!

You need to deal with your negative thoughts about them, not go chopping your ears about 💐

Sallystyle · 16/08/2016 17:15

BTW on the other shot it just looks a little bit thinner and very unremarkable.

justmatureenough2bdad · 16/08/2016 17:15

My little sister has ears like yours and I sincerely hope she doesn't grow up as worried by them as you are (she's 12 now). A friend at uni had similar on one ear - she had the cartilage at the top pierced and it got infected and wound up like yours, but only on one side. She wasn't self-conscious about it at all! There is nothing at all wrong with your ears and I hope you can grow to accept them. I have a scar on my nose from an accident aged 5, and sometimes people do ask me about it, but it doesn't bother me at all.

Can you even have surgery - how does the surgery work? Do they take skin grafts from another part of your body? It sounds a bit drastic for such a minor issue.

mummytofourbabies · 16/08/2016 17:16

Op I think nennyrainbow meant that until you actually click on the photo you can only see half your ear, maybe she didn't realise you had to click on it to see the whole photo.

Your ears are fine though, really pretty and delicate wouldn't even have noticed if you hadn't mentioned it :)

TheClacksAreDown · 16/08/2016 17:16

I think if it really bothers you then you could look into why would be involved in getting it done and the costs. I'm no surgeon but presumably you'd essentially be looking to build on what was there or having to completely reshape the ears which strikes me as probably something that would involve scarring.

If money is no object you could go no see a surgeon to get an idea of what is involved, what look could be achieved, scarring, recovery, Costs etc As you'd want to weigh all that up.

DoreenLethal · 16/08/2016 17:20

really want people to be honest as in real life if I ask anyone they say my ears are fine.

Your ears are shit. It's a wonder you have any friends at all with your silly ears.

Does that help?

They aren't shit or silly of course - but I am wondering why you let one wanker influence you for 25 years. In the nicest possible way let the cork out, wear your hair up and enjoy your life with your lovely ears.

Spanglyflipflop · 16/08/2016 17:20

Your ears are absolutely fine!

Minisoksmakehardwork · 16/08/2016 17:21

As you've pointed out what the 'flaw' is, I saw it. But I didn't originally.

Our ds1 was born with what looked like a skin tag on his lower earlobe. It didn't bother us but people did comment on it and we asked whether anything could be done, for referred to a plastic surgeon. He said whilst there was nothing wrong - it can be a symptom of other conditions apparently - it could be cut off/re-shaped if we wished. He wasn't even a year old when we were having this conversation.

It's all to do with how the ears grow in the womb. Apparently they grow as blobs which join up. Except in ds2's case his blobs didn't all join up properly.

If it bothers you and you feel self conscious to the point you avoid doing things because of your ear, then I'd speak to your GP and ask to be referred to a plastic surgeon.

But don't let this become who you are. You are much more than a slightly flattened ear, that you've pointed out to us so we noticed. Without it being shown in isolation, I certainly wouldn't have noticed.

Stormtreader · 16/08/2016 17:23

I bet it would be way easier than most people for you to have that surgery where they give you elf ears....(I may have always fancied having elf ears)

They look fine to me :)

BipBippadotta · 16/08/2016 17:25

Nothing seems at all odd about those ears to me. Genuinely.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 16/08/2016 17:25

I'd you hadn't pointed it out I wouldn't have noticed it at all!

SirVixofVixHall · 16/08/2016 17:25

I think they are really nice, delicate looking ears. I really can't see anything "wrong" with them at all.

MrsJorahMormont · 16/08/2016 17:33

I would more than likely never notice your ears. If I did, I would notice that your left ear was unusual at the top, for about half a second. Then I would never think about it again.

Honestly, this is like a teenager with a tiny pimple, which they believe is a crater visible from space. Be kind to yourself Thanks

shinynewusername · 16/08/2016 17:34

If they really bother you maybe see GP for advice?

Please don't. This is not an NHS issue and GPs are not trained to advise on cosmetic surgery. (I"m a GP).

And OP, your ears look great.

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