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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you had this physical 'quirk' would you try and rectify it? AIBU and superficial?

193 replies

EarryMcCleery · 16/08/2016 16:39

Firstly I am going to get these pictures deleted after a while as it's very embarrassing.

Ive always hated my ears. They are a weird shape. One is slightly better than the other as you can see from the pictures.

I debated for years before getting my ears pierced.

if you had these ears, would you seek correctional surgery?

Are they very unsightly?

I mostly wear my hair down.

Please be honest!

I wonder if this kind of surgery is even possible?

Thanks for reading.

I'm aware that there are more important things and that my hearing is perfect so I'm really lucky but... Sad

If you had this physical 'quirk' would you try and rectify it? AIBU and superficial?
If you had this physical 'quirk' would you try and rectify it? AIBU and superficial?
OP posts:
FlyingElbows · 16/08/2016 16:51

Your ears are fine. However, if it will make you feel happier then I'm sure a plastic surgeon would happily relieve you of several thousands of pounds to make some sort of change which could leave you with horrible lumpy scar tissue and no guarantee of a "normal" shape! You're fine and I'd give my right arm for your hair. Wink

JudyCoolibar · 16/08/2016 16:53

They look fine to me. My ears stick out, so I've consistently opted for hairstyles that cover the top half. It's not a problem.

MapleandPear · 16/08/2016 16:54

You're fine and I'd give my right arm for your hair.

Now that would look weird.

EatsShitAndLeaves · 16/08/2016 16:54

There is nothing - I repeat absolutely nothing - wrong with your ears.

We all have things that bother us about our appearance but I say this gently - I think you have become somewhat fixated about something that no-one else than you would even register.

Our "flaws" are what make us unique and beautiful. Think of Cindy Crawfords beauty spot - yes that iconic "flaw" the model agency tried to get her have removed Hmm.

I looked at your pictures twice and TBH I'm struggling to see what your issue is. Your ears are delicate and pretty.

Flappyhat · 16/08/2016 16:54

My DC have similar ears to yours. It has never occurred to me that it is something that should be corrected.

Has someone said anything to you in the past about them?

clicknclack · 16/08/2016 16:54

they look like ears to me.

ABloodyDifficultWoman · 16/08/2016 16:55

Ultimately it's your call OP. No matter how many people tell you that your ears are fine, can't see anything wrong, look perfectly normal etc etc - if YOU feel there's something amiss and it's impacting on your life (and it seems to be affecting you in some ways) then you must see if you can get anything done about it. Perhaps a consultation with a cosmetic surgeon - that would cost you about £100 in the first instance and from there you can decide whether to proceed or learn to live with it.

Original poster
EarryMcCleery · 16/08/2016 16:57

I am honestly not looking for compliments!

I got asked on the school bus when I was 10 if a dog had bitten the top of my ear off and I've been paranoid ever since!

You'd think at 35 I'd be over it!

I never thought of the possibility of scarring if I had correctional surgery.

Thanks for the nice comments about my hair Blush

I'm glad I posted here as I know people will be honest and direct.

Thanks
OP posts:
NotYoda · 16/08/2016 16:57

Oh it's so hard. because i see what you are seeing, but to us it's tiny, insignificant.

No-one else would ever notice it if you didn't point it out.

Even if (slim chance) they did, they might think - "oh one of her ears is slightly flat at the top"

Does that matter?

People really don't look at stuff. They are too busy worrying about themselves

LondonStill83 · 16/08/2016 16:57

I couldn't even see what was "weird" about them until you pointed it out. I still only partially see it now.

I really, really would not waste another moment of your life worrying about this!

Danglyweed · 16/08/2016 16:58

My friend has ears like yours, has never bothered her in the slightest, it has a name but cant think what atm. My dd has 'flat, soft' ears like I think you do, theres just no cartilage there. Honestly it does bother me, but dd 7 does not want surgery.

If you are deeply unhappy, speak to your gp. Im not sure it would be covered by the nhs though

phoenix1973 · 16/08/2016 16:58

No way! There's nothing wrong with your ears x x x

NotYoda · 16/08/2016 16:58

I've reached an age where my ears are getting bigger. There is sod all I can do about it, it happens to everyone. meh

PacificDogwod · 16/08/2016 16:58

YANBU to feel whatever you feel about your appearance.

YABU to think that there is anything objectively 'wrong' with your ears - they are a perfectly normal variant: Did you know that the exact shape of our ears is as unique to us as our fingerprints?

My advice would be to address how strongly you feel about your ears and change that, rather than attempt to change your ears.
Thanks

Original poster
EarryMcCleery · 16/08/2016 17:00

flappy I'm sure your dc have lovely ears and are completely perfect. When I ask my mum if she didn't notice anything about my ears when I was a baby or younger she says she couldn't see anything wrong.

I do have a concern about giving the wrong message to my children by fixating on this so this thread is helping.

OP posts:
Rubies12345 · 16/08/2016 17:00

Just wear your hair in front of them.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans · 16/08/2016 17:03

I would never, ever notice those ears. If you were sitting close to me for long enough, and I was rude enough to stare, I might think they were a different shap than mine - but in a good way. Mine are like a man's, yours are delicate and feminine.

665TheNeighbourOfTheBeast · 16/08/2016 17:03

Well if it's a consensus your after,..I think they're a bit..meh!
"Masterfully inoffensive"..if I was trying to big it up a bit. Grin

acasualobserver · 16/08/2016 17:03

I've had a good look at the pics and your ears are growing on me. So to speak.

jamhot · 16/08/2016 17:04

There's nothing wrong with those ears.

BestZebbie · 16/08/2016 17:06

Your right ear is completely normal. Your left ear is slightly abbreviated across the top, but well within the realms of normal variation and not "deformed" or obvious. If I met you I wouldn't notice either of those ears unless you specifically asked me to look at your left ear with an eye to finding something wrong with it, as here.

MolesBreathless · 16/08/2016 17:06

Well, there is nothing 'wrong' with them, but yes they are a non-standard shape.

There is no way at all anyone would think them odd or weird, but it is how you feel about them that matters. FWIW, I think them quite delicate and quirky!

I had a rhinoplasty abut 10 years ago, and while there was nothing 'wrong' with my original nose, I am so very, very pleased I went ahead as I have so much more confidence. It has improved almost every aspect of my life and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I totally relate to the never wearing your hair up thing - horrible, isn't it?

Do you think your feelings about them hold you back in everyday life?

ShotgunNotDoingThePans · 16/08/2016 17:07

I stopped fixating on my nose(which my DM kindly described as 'Roman' when I was 11), after I had my DCs. I decided that if they ended up with the same nose as me, and knew I'd had mine altered, it would be tantamount to me telling them their own noses were substandard and should be changed. Didn't want to inflict years of self-consciousness on them.

PolterGoose · 16/08/2016 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoblinLittleOwl · 16/08/2016 17:08

I honestly cannot see what you think is wrong with your ears.

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