To not want to go back to the UK to see family for our yearly holiday?

[BummyMummy77]

So I'm about to book our yearly holiday. We can only afford one holiday a year as dh is self employed.

Since I moved to the States 5 years ago dh and I (and then ds who's now almost 3) have spent all our spare time and money going back to the UK. So we've not had a 'holiday' in 6 years. In fact, we've only been together that long so have only actually had one holiday together.

The problem is going back home is not a holiday for me. Of course it's LOVELY to see my family and very important for them to see ds as he grows up but it's also incredibly stressful. The journey there is a headfuck then when we are there family demand all of our time and either plan outings which involve a lot more travelling (not great with a toddler who's already off kilter being away from home) or just sitting inside watching the tv all day.

And then there's the arguing about having to see EVERYONE when we just don't have time. Another thing that makes it hard is both of my parents (who are separated so we have to spilt time with them) have very different views to me on parenting and constantly tell me. So staying with them is about as relaxing as pulling teeth.

Also I feel bad that this is dh's holiday every year! Although he does see it as more of a holiday in some respects as Britian is all new and exciting to him still.

Of course it's so important ds knows his British family and they see him grow up so I feel like a total selfish wankpot wanting to book this year's holiday somewhere nice instead. (Hawaii ) The Winters here are so long and so harsh (talking -30 and feet of snow and ice for some years November-April) it's a pisser jetting off to the UK instead of somewhere we could actually feel warm for a bit!

This would make me extremely unpopular with my family.

Aibu and selfish to skip a UK trip for a year?

Sorry the first part of my post seems to have dissapered, said could you maybe combine seeing your family with doing something nice and relaxing for you, like going to UK for a week or so and then catch a flight somewhere warm and nice in South Europe after?

Until I read that your parents were separated I was going to suggest meeting them somewhere abroad. When I was young we used to fly to Dubai or somewhere in that region to meet up with my dad's family who lived in Singapore. I would say to just do it - book a holiday! It's one year. You deserve it!

Would it possible to stay for a weekend then head off to Ireland or Spain for a week?

It's a bit unfair as well to say you have to tag on a few days to a European holiday, because frankly you still have to budget for a long haul holiday every single year, few people can afford long haul yearly.

Well done! So hard to deal with the guilt but so worth it!! To make you feel better, just finishing our 'holiday' week with the in-laws. They are so set in their ways dfil wouldn't turn over the news at dinner so our 4 yo could watch paw patrol, dmil just spent all week in the kitchen as always, loads of grunts and comments about how much dh drinks (from his dad who can't drink anymore) and loads of hours to fill because there are no actual holiday activities for the small children. I'm in bed as kids won't sleep in this strange room alone so not even had a glass of wine and a chat with dh in the evening. Actually less relaxing than a week at home!