To start a SIXTH thread nobody responds to?

[AverageGayLad]

As you were

[Gowgirl]

I had a twenty year crush on the local market man.....age 14 till 34 and married.....all fruit and veg was sexy....im very damaged obvously

[toadgirl]

Jess

Pop round to the house and he'll probably have photos of himself as a young chap looking handsome in some uniform or other. That could set your imagination/juices flowing.

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

This would put even the randiest teenager off!

[Bettercallsaul1]

You have obviously fully recovered, Portia!

[toadgirl]

I had a twenty year crush on the local market man.....age 14 till 34 and married.....all fruit and veg was sexy....im very damaged obvously



You've got it bad! Haha.

Still, the market guys don't help, do they? Always suggestively feeling up the melons whilst winking at the women shopping.

[Gowgirl]

Kew is 3 mile away!
Gonna flounce!!!!!!!!!

[toadgirl]

Being

That would be much more like it!

I remember our sex education was just about "don't get pregnant" and "this is a condom". They should have shown us the reality of having a baby. As you say, quite daunting to say the least.

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

toad, they never feel up the melons in Asda. I feel like I'm missing out!

[ItShouldHaveBeenJess]

toad. Unfortunately, he has already showed me photos of his deceased wife; one of which captured her as 'somewhat scantily clad'. I thinking my unerring politeness is sometimes my downfall. She was in a basque for God's sake. And no, I don't do pity shags...

[Gowgirl]

Turned out he was short and fat toad....couldnt see it for years!!!!!!!!

[toadgirl]

Gowgirl

3 miles away, eh?

[toadgirl]

Turned out he was short and fat toad

Toads usually are short and fat!

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

Pity shags are terrible!

[VanillaSugar]

Jess You must stop your older sister going into the CoOp and getting the two of you confused rolls eyes

[PortiaCastis]

.

[toadgirl]

they never feel up the melons in Asda. I feel like I'm missing out!

I suppose the staff in the big supermarkets have to be very careful. They won't be allowed to get suggestive with the customers. This is Jess' problem really. She needs to initiate, but she's a shy girl. She needs to be able to buy melons and go up to Bambi-boy and ask him what he thinks of them. Get this party started!

[toadgirl]

I thinking my unerring politeness is sometimes my downfall

I know what you mean.

I worked as a barmaid for a while in my teens and I was so polite which unfortunately some old goats too for encouragement!

[toadgirl]

Portia

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

toad, maybe I'm not watching carefully enough..

[VanillaSugar]

SC-oh-ne

[toadgirl]

TOOK for encouragement!

[toadgirl]

Portia & Jess

Maybe you could help the OP?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2708724-cornwall-is-positively-shite?pg=2

[PortiaCastis]

Have you all read today's guest post. May I point you in that direction. My apologies if I offend anyone

[ItShouldHaveBeenJess]

vanilla. Genius. I will be sure to mention my 'evil twin', the one with no make-up and ill-fitting beige shorts.

[toadgirl]

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