To start a SIXTH thread nobody responds to?

[AverageGayLad]

As you were

Ah well it begins P Jess

Jess

Aha. Nearer to you then. You get all the good stuff. Think I might have to find myself a taxi driver lover boy who will willingly escort me to ogle other men.

Marking place amongst the nothing and nobibw.

Don't laugh at me, AGL these shorts are truly hideous. And very old man was a bit dodge as well.

Thanks toad, currently watching bitten on BT TV, so won't get the references.....

Oh. My. God. (breathes into paper bag)

Jess Calm down - we'll help!

I pop out to the Co Op (disaster: he was working, and I had no make-up, hideously unflattering shorts on, and they were out of courgettes)

It's one of life's cruellest laws, I'm afraid. When you are not looking your best, THAT'S when you'll run into an ex with OW, or your latest crush or the bitchiest person from school or work. Ugh.

an 81 year-old-man who I regularly say 'hi' to, grabbed my elbow and asked me if I had a husband. I said 'no' but, as I saw him start to grin, had to quickly change it to 'it's complicated'

You've obviously scored there Could you use him to make Bambi-boy jealous?

Am clearly fishing in the wrong age pool, and also tragically flattered that he said 'Well, you're only 40, probably be a bit young for me anyway'

He'd love a young filly like you! Could you offer him your chambermaiding...ahem....services? He could be loaded and this could be your lottery win, albeit in a different guise!
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I rush back to my beloved thread to find 'this thread is no longer accepting new messages'

Must have raised all sorted of abandonment issues. How awful for you

I'll ask Gran to give you a lift in her Ford Popular Jess

Can't you just seduce coop boy behind the cauliflower Jess?

I'm glad you guys understand (still shaking and crying...)

portia fab

gow are cauliflowers sexy now?

Carrots are more useful

Aubergines are a bit daunting though.

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A lot of passion to be found in the vegetable aisle!

Oh no Jess! Was he at least a 'used to be attractive' 80 year old?

The fruit is pretty raunchy too!

Portia

I knew he wouldn't be wearing those clothes for long!!!!

Why do you think bananas are used for practising putting condoms on? That's a very sexy fruit!

Being

Absolutely right!

Although bananas are kind of wearing their own condom already, aren't they? I mean, you could use them in any way you want and then peel them and eat them.

Cant resist this again.
He placed his big marrow
Into a wheelbarrow
Crying cock and muscles
Alive alive o

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being. Er, possibly, difficult to tell....it depends what you mean by 'used to be'. I'm quite imaginative, but I think I'd be stretching my creativity a fair bit by seeing him as, well, Aidie....

Found on internet:-

There was a young harlot from Kew
Who filled her 'little earner' with glue.
She said with a grin,
"If they pay to get in,
They'll pay to get out of it, too."