To think it's not just me who doesn't like being stared at while partially dressed?

[lifeofsiam]

Dh and I were in what is supposed to be an over-14's only sauna/spa bath area.

A boy who looked significantly younger (about 12) sat on the edge of the jacuzzi steps staring at us the entire time. His mother and elder sibling stayed in the steam room, leaving him outside.

In the changing rooms, I spoke politely to the mother, saying she may not have seen the sign saying it is over -14's only, and also her son had stared at us the entire time, making us feel uncomfortable.

She became angry with me, said the boy was almost 14 and autistic- which is why he was staring.

Ok, we weren't to know that, and she was clearly very stressed.

She then muttered 'there's always one.'

I asked 'always one what ?'

'Always one who is uncomfortable being stared at.'

I didn't respond- I didn't want to argue with or antagonise another mother with a disabled child - but afterwards I thought how it's not just me who would feel uncomfortable and a lot of people, especially women and teenage girls wouldn't feel comfortable in those circumstances, either? And that I'm not 'only one' in that case?

I wasn't sorry for mentioning it - he was under age and shouldn't have been there, SN or not.
Plus, she was aggressive to me - neither of us would have gained from me carrying on talking.

Why would you not want to make this mum feel better?

Because she'd been rude.

I have just started letting my ds swim on his own for short periods (he has SEN and is 11), I do keep a distant eye out and check on him every five minutes or so.

However, if someone approached me to tell me that he had been staring at them I'd have probably burst into tears. It's a very worrying process giving your kids the space and time to learn to behave more independently, moreso if they have SEN. All parents want is for their kids to succeed in the world and for some of our kids, sitting in a Jacuzzi for 5-10 minutes is a major success, thinking they have done well and they having someone come and point out what a shit parent you are and how awful they are is like being punched in the gut. A less emotional person may well have got angry about it, I can completely understand her reaction to someone seeking her out to pick fault.

There seems to be a flurry of posts about hidden disabilities at the moment, might be worth looking at the social model of disability if people aren't familiar with it or think it's OK to nitpick behaviour as long as you don't know that someone has SEN / disabilities.

Yup, that's it.

Some really horrible attitudes on this thread. I'm actually surprised by them.

You're right. But I am not surprised. These threads always bring out the ignorant arseholes.