To think it's not just me who doesn't like being stared at while partially dressed?

[lifeofsiam]

Dh and I were in what is supposed to be an over-14's only sauna/spa bath area.

A boy who looked significantly younger (about 12) sat on the edge of the jacuzzi steps staring at us the entire time. His mother and elder sibling stayed in the steam room, leaving him outside.

In the changing rooms, I spoke politely to the mother, saying she may not have seen the sign saying it is over -14's only, and also her son had stared at us the entire time, making us feel uncomfortable.

She became angry with me, said the boy was almost 14 and autistic- which is why he was staring.

Ok, we weren't to know that, and she was clearly very stressed.

She then muttered 'there's always one.'

I asked 'always one what ?'

'Always one who is uncomfortable being stared at.'

I didn't respond- I didn't want to argue with or antagonise another mother with a disabled child - but afterwards I thought how it's not just me who would feel uncomfortable and a lot of people, especially women and teenage girls wouldn't feel comfortable in those circumstances, either? And that I'm not 'only one' in that case?

OP has said she has hidden disabilities herself, how about some sympathy for her instead of a woman who was rude to her?

Also it absolutely isn't unreasonable to dislike being stared at.

I have empathy for the OP and can't understand why you don't. I don't have much empathy for the mother who takes her DS somewhere he shouldn't be then gets huffy when it's pointed out.

If the mother had apologised and explained briefly and been civil I'd have had a lot more sympathy for her. Passive aggressive muttering is pathetic.

You weren't unreasonable to feel like that but when you were told that the child was autistic, you should have been more understanding and showed a little empathy.

Oh what a lovely totally disingenuous thread this is. Plus ca change.

"I was seeking to find out if I was the only one who doesn't like being stared at while in a swimming pool"

That is really and truly your reason for starting the thread OP?

Well my answer fwiw is I expect is feel a little uncomfortable for a moment, then once I found out the child has autism I wouldn't give it a second thought. And would have a shed load of empathy for the boy and his mother, thank my lucky stars I wasn't in that position, and go on my merry way.

But I don't really think that is what you really wanted to know from this thread is it. You wanted validation that the other woman was rude.

I find the title of this thread misleading. I don't see the point in it. The OP claims to wonder if others like being stared at. Ridiculous. OP there with her husband, sees a boy staring at them both but doesn't realise he is autistic. If that's the case OP, why didn't you and your husband address the issue with the lad there and then?

What bialystock said above 100%. OP if you so dearly didn't want to "antagonise" people you would have done well not to start this thread.

Exactly navy the title wording is completely misleading and a different topic entirely!