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Original poster

Away from home and partner gone missing, help

620 replies

Discopanda · 14/08/2016 04:25

Posting here for traffic. We're in Brighton for the weekend and last night got a babysitter so we could go out for a few drinks. When we got in just before 12, DP went with babysitter to get cash to pay her, hasn't come back since. I guessed he'd gone on for a couple more drinks but everywhere will be closed now. His phone is off (it was low on battery when we were out), I don't have a working mobile just my laptop, he's got the only door key and I can't drive, so I am literally stuck here with our 2 DDs (1 and 4), check out is at 4 and I've got all our things and have no idea how I'm even going to be able to take the girls downstairs for breakfast without the key card to get back in after. I was considering calling the local A&E to see if he's got hurt or injured but don't want to wake them up. What do I do?!?!

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 14/08/2016 21:22

You could be right. Confused!!

Noonesfool · 14/08/2016 21:23

I am also slightly 😮 Or maybe Hmm at the many, many suggestions that it must be a gay thing. I think one poster actually used the phrase "part time gay".

Cos, y'know, Brighton

MeLittleDuckie · 14/08/2016 21:23

Only just read this OP but I'm glad your husband is ok. Sorry to read all the horrid comments, not what you need when you're looking for support. Agree with Miscellaneous about posters' 'wannabe badass attitude', we'd be so much better off without all of that.

April229 · 14/08/2016 21:26

How could he have cancelled the cards when he had no battery on his mobile phone? Agreed that banks would be open 24/7 for fraud and withdrawals after cancelling would have been blocked but where would they have tried to spend £600 on a Sunday before 8.30 when he got back?
Saying the bank would refund the money suggests it's already been taken which it wouldn't have been had the card been cancelled. Who cancelled the card?

VanillaSugar · 14/08/2016 21:30

I think I must be a bit dim because none of this makes any sense. Confused

zebrawithsunglasses · 14/08/2016 21:34

Have been following this thread having had a nine year relationship come to a crashing end after a night waiting and watching the window for an ex on a bender to come back.

Sorry for your long night OP.

About the pin question - years ago, when I had a social life, I was out in Soho one night and had my wallet pickpocketed. Being in my 20s and half daft (not wanting to end a good night early) I didn't cancel my cards. By 2am when I got home £300 had gone from my bank and there had been an attempted £300 on my CC.

The police said there was a known scam whereby the barman clocked my pin when I bought a round, and his mate pickpocketed me and went and rinsed the card.

Upon debriefing with a friend the next day it turned out his debit card was missing, and he also had £300 gone.

We don't drink quite as much any more. :D :D :D

DixieNormas · 14/08/2016 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Discopanda · 14/08/2016 21:36

Sorry, I know it's a lot of comings and goings, they tried to use the credit card in JD Sports after DP got back, charged his phone and cancelled the card, I was with him when he got the call from the credit card company and at breakfast when our main bank called to report suspicious activity. We got home about 3 hours ago so not still in Brighton.

OP posts:
zebrawithsunglasses · 14/08/2016 21:36

Oh! And the bank eventually refunded the missing cash. I think they checked the camera on the bank machine and could the withdrawal wasn't made by me.

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 14/08/2016 21:38

Er, Vanilla - you're not dim but you are required somewhere else....

Mix56 · 14/08/2016 21:38

You know what ? The guy is a jerk. whatever his story, he is pitiful.

He is a bullshitting crap father, & crap husband

Kick to touch

YouTheCat · 14/08/2016 21:40

In the end though, none of this would have happened if he hadn't taken himself off for a few more drinks. I think he's been an utter shit.

coolaschmoola · 14/08/2016 21:41

Lots of assumptions on this thread and some seriously overactive imaginations. Add to that some misinformation and we've got a full on game of Chinese whispers!

FWIW you DON'T get a phone call when arrested in the UK. There is no entitlement to one.

Hope you are OK Disco.

JudyCoolibar · 14/08/2016 21:42

There's an awful lot of unwarranted speculation on here. Of course banks are contactable 24/7. He could have cancelled the cards from the police station. It's a standard technique with cash machine thefts to watch the card owner make the withdrawal first so as to get the pin number. Brighton's a busy place at night, if the thieves had disappeared OP's DH may still have kicked off at other people. The attempt to use the card in a shop may well have been after 8.30. And finally, if OP's DH was pissed and angry about the theft and getting arrested, he may well have given her a pretty confused story anyway.

6demandingchildren · 14/08/2016 21:47

Wow so the bloke made a mistake. Doesn't make him a bad person.
And as for "rent boys" Well depends on what part of Brighton he was arrested in as they don't tend to flounce their wares outside burger king.
And the police could of given him a lift back to the hotel as he had no money and a stranger to the area. They are police not Eddie stobart lorry drivers.
And they forgot to get cash out they are away and having a good time . They forgot it's not a crime like going on holiday and leaving your kids while you fuck off to eat tapas.
Give the op a break as if it is all B.S the op will find out then we can tell her to ltb but until then I will continue to be supportive.

LyndaNotLinda · 14/08/2016 21:48

If he had just given the babysitter her money and come straight back to the hotel like any decent father of two would have done, none of this other shit would have happened.

It's the fact that Disco thinks it's absolutely normal for him to have done that which I find really depressing.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 14/08/2016 21:56

Did you get to the bottom of why he was arrested? Given that the muggers had gone already, what exactly did he do?!

I have to say I'm impressed with your bank. A lot of them do that 28 day nonsense to check for fraudulent withdrawals etc. It's nice to see a company actually trusting their customers.

AnyFucker · 14/08/2016 21:58

Me too Lynda

All of this shit wouldn't even have happened had this bloke acted like a decent partner and father in the first place

And disco...you are far, far too accepting. I expect this is your way of life, huh ? Always one step behind this untrustworthy man ?

Blu · 14/08/2016 21:58

I hope some posters on this thread are never called for Jury Duty.

RomeoIsBleeding · 14/08/2016 21:58

Of course I can cancel my cards 24/7 etc, but I am genuinely surprised if getting a refund is possible without any sort of investigation has taken place if the money was withdrawn from an atm.

SoupDragon · 14/08/2016 22:00

I can't believe people are still trying to pick holes in what the OP is saying.

Do you really think that is any help whatsoever?

Blu · 14/08/2016 22:01

Can someone point to the post where Discopanda says she thinks this is normal or acceptable? Rather than merely better than him being dead or in prison? Because as far as I can see she is 'angry and disappointed' .

AnyFucker · 14/08/2016 22:02

This bloke's story has more holes than a Swiss cheese

Op seems to be accepting it. I think folks are quite incredulous about that.

SoupDragon · 14/08/2016 22:02

Some folk are twats then.

Bearbehind · 14/08/2016 22:03

The cards may have 'gone missing' but that doesn't explain the hours between midnight and 8.30am.

I'm shocked so many people think his behaviour is not worthy of any speculation.

His story does not add up.

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