Away from home and partner gone missing, help

[Discopanda]

Posting here for traffic. We're in Brighton for the weekend and last night got a babysitter so we could go out for a few drinks. When we got in just before 12, DP went with babysitter to get cash to pay her, hasn't come back since. I guessed he'd gone on for a couple more drinks but everywhere will be closed now. His phone is off (it was low on battery when we were out), I don't have a working mobile just my laptop, he's got the only door key and I can't drive, so I am literally stuck here with our 2 DDs (1 and 4), check out is at 4 and I've got all our things and have no idea how I'm even going to be able to take the girls downstairs for breakfast without the key card to get back in after. I was considering calling the local A&E to see if he's got hurt or injured but don't want to wake them up. What do I do?!?!

Er, anyone who is suspicious of the OP only needs to do a name search to see she is a regular poster. If you do have doubts about her, then report it?!

Disco I'm sorry you went through such an awful experience. I have my doubts about his story, sounds suspicious to me.

My doubts about the OP are more that I'm amazed at grown up can be so naive than her veracity.

I'm frankly quite turned off by how aggressively some are questioning the OP's, a well-established poster, story on the basis that she, in a stressed state at 4am, focused on the fact that she had no room key, and that she dared to use a legal, popular, organised, reference-checking babysitting service. People have independently verified that yes, you pay the sitter in cash at the end of the night, and you can pay Brighton hotels to check out at 4pm.

Also, stop it with the babysitter thing. People seem to be picturing some 18-year-old temptress who would love nothing more, after working all evening and being stone cold sober, than to take home her worse-for-wear, married client. Did you all see too many porns with this plot or something? As has also been pointed out, most of these babysitters are fully mature women who are registered nannies or childminders making extra cash. Just because there was a vagina present when he was last seen doesn't mean that, black-hole-like, he got sucked into it.

I would believe that, if he was pissed and aggressive he might have been picked up.

lass you're being truly unpleasant in this thread. Just so you know.

Also, stop it with the babysitter thing. People seem to be picturing some 18-year-old temptress who would love nothing more, after working all evening and being stone cold sober, than to take home her worse-for-wear, married client.

Exactly. There are some awful posts here.

itshouldhavebeenjess black pudding?!

Disco with the best will in the world he is lying his ass off

He would not have been arrested then released by 4:30am - no way

He's pissed money up the wall somewhere he doesn't want you know about - casino, strip club wherever - so he's made up a story about his card being stolen - it's bullpoo

But yes, simply because he is in Brighton doesn't mean he's had gay sex - what a stupid thing to say

sarah Don't spoil it! She was a (possibly Scandinavian) large breasted virgin with legs that went on forever, nipple piercings and a litany of sexual positions she wanted to try out, despite her tender age and 'inexperience'.....

bump I'd go for that

Nicki the unpleasant posts are those jumping to the misogynistic conclusion it were the babysitter wot dun it. Really vile. As if someone else's drunk husband is an irresistible catch.

When things go wrong it's great to have support on Mumsnet. But surely most of us would have contacted hotel reception (who have night staff) and the local police as well, after 8am if not earlier.

Really sorry, Discopanda.

I would be furious that he has wrecked your weekend away. Bad luck to get mugged, but if he hadn't gone off and left you for more drinks it wouldn't have happened. Really selfish to have done that in the first place, even if it had ended better.

Ah, well, get through today, make it as OK as possible for your 4 year old, and have a long hard think about his behaviour, what you want and how to get it.

Good luck.

Oh yours questioning the OP's intelligence and blaming her for the situation read pretty nastily too believe me.

I absolutely have no opinion on whether dh's op was arrested as I dont know him. My cousin was arrested on dh's stag and it definitely happened as I spoke to the desk to arrange his lift home from the station. His dp may have found that hard to believe but it really happened. However, my friends oh had an affair (eventually fessed up and left her for the ow) and one of his overnight excuses was an arrest and that did turn out to be a complete fabrication. I thought that he was lying from the get go as he had used excuses on the 2 previous weekends and also when friend phoned the desk there was no record of him being in he had a long winded excuse as to why. I'm not suggesting that op's dh is lying but it is something that people could lie about as what better excuse for not coming home is there than literally being prevented from doing so by the law(

I used to work for Sitters. If someone came home without the money to pay me the last thing I'd do is go off for a drink with the guy after he'd been to the cashpoint. I'd be absolutely fuming - all you want to do is to go home. You'd have to be unusually desperate to say goodbye to his wife and walk off thinking you'd have a good time with the husband, too.

OP, does he normally have a problem with alcohol?

Lass your persistent undermining of the OP is unpleasant too. You have been told repeatedly that your fixation on the key is inaccurate and unhelpful. If there is so little in this thread that you believe, I don't understand why you keep posting rather than reporting.

And now we have the Haven't Read The Thread brigade.

So tedious.

Oh well.

But surely most of us would have contacted hotel reception (who have night staff) and the local police as well, after 8am if not earlier.

Beezie he came back around 5.

LassWiTheDelicateAir

Exactly. There are some awful posts here

You actually posted that Lass? Seriously? With a straight face? I honestly don't know how you have the front.

Oh Discopanda lovely - pleased as I am that he reappeared & you were thus saved further anxiety & didn't have to deal with your DDs waking up & Daddy not being there & not having an easy answer to give them... as PPs have said, it really doesn't sound as if he's being honest with you about what happened.

Out of interest, was he, by any chance, meant to be responsible for having the money to pay the sitter when you got back to the hotel? Did you get a big performance of "oh no, I'm short £X, I'm so sorry I was sure I still had £fullamount - I'll go to a cashpoint for you now, I don't want you to have to wait for your money & to be honest I'd hate the site to think we're unreliable, this has never happened before, I'm so embarrassed, I can't think how it happened" before he left for the cashpoint?

If someone says to me they've got the money for something I expect them to, you know, have the money for it. So it makes perfect sense to me that if Discopanda's partner told her he had the money to pay the babysitter she'd not think any more about it.

Read the the OP's post that her partner spent the night in a cell, then skipped to the end!
Right, apart from him needing a boot up the a**e, couldn't he have asked for you to be contacted...would it have been too much trouble for the police to email you on your laptop, they must have realised you'd be out of your mind with worry...., or am I being naive here?
NB: Discopanda get yourself a working phone toot sweet!

bloody

Attended and released within a few hours? not likely.

Arrested*