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Original poster

Away from home and partner gone missing, help

620 replies

Discopanda · 14/08/2016 04:25

Posting here for traffic. We're in Brighton for the weekend and last night got a babysitter so we could go out for a few drinks. When we got in just before 12, DP went with babysitter to get cash to pay her, hasn't come back since. I guessed he'd gone on for a couple more drinks but everywhere will be closed now. His phone is off (it was low on battery when we were out), I don't have a working mobile just my laptop, he's got the only door key and I can't drive, so I am literally stuck here with our 2 DDs (1 and 4), check out is at 4 and I've got all our things and have no idea how I'm even going to be able to take the girls downstairs for breakfast without the key card to get back in after. I was considering calling the local A&E to see if he's got hurt or injured but don't want to wake them up. What do I do?!?!

OP posts:
2016Blyton · 14/08/2016 12:43

Usually in most countries you're allowed one phone call when arrested.

RepentAtLeisure · 14/08/2016 12:45

Does he have any paperwork? Sounds very dodgy to me, OP, but you know him best.

Crocodillian · 14/08/2016 12:48

op he's your dh and you know him better than any of us can second guess or speculate on here. It must have been a horrible night when it should have been a decent one out in Brighton. Whether you believe him and this can all be ironed out, or there's more to it I hope that you're ok.Flowers

roarfeckingroar · 14/08/2016 12:54

He wouldn't have been processed at that time. I know this from awful experience with my ex.

PedantPending · 14/08/2016 12:59

Has he cancelled the debit card?

HandbagCrab · 14/08/2016 13:02

What an arse. If it's the gospel truth he's an arse - buggering off in a different city to go out on the piss on his own without contacting you and with no way of contacting him. Being drunk enough to kick off with bar staff/police when he realises his debit card has been stolen. Leaving his worried partner with two dc whilst he's in a police cell and not contacting them.

If it's a load of bollocks well he's an arse and a lying arse. Is he an alcoholic? Is he abusive? What's so good about this relationship that it's worth putting up with shit like this?

purplefox · 14/08/2016 13:02

He spent the night in the cell yet got out in time to be back after you posted at 4.30?.. right, believable.

rollonthesummer · 14/08/2016 13:04

What a load of tosh! Does your DH have form for lying!?

SanityClause · 14/08/2016 13:06

Blimmin' 'eck! Here's a thought about the key cards.

They check in. The receptionist asks if they want a second card. They do not expect to need one, and say "no thank you, one will be enough".

I would always want a second card, though, as I hate not having "my own" key.

disco, I hope you are okay. I do think your H's story is full of holes. I hope you get it sorted.

Flowers
VoldysGoneMouldy · 14/08/2016 13:13

There is no way someone would be arrested and released in the space of four hours on a busy Saturday night, in Brighton, in the middle of summer. The police in Brighton are used to dealing with drunk idiots at that kind of time, they pretty much specialize in it.

He's lying. I'd wait for the bank statements to show a large amount paid at a casino or strip club tbh.

Crunchymum · 14/08/2016 13:13

To be fair the OP does say in the very first post she doesn't have a working mobile so how the DP was going to text her to let her know where he was going / make her his 'one' call upon his arrest I am not sure.

I still don't believe for a second the DP was arrested though.

OP hope you are OK?

Donthate · 14/08/2016 13:18

Sounds like a good excuse to me.

Beeziekn33ze · 14/08/2016 13:20

At the putative police station his one call could have been to the large central hotel. A friend's DH used to somehow get stranded without money at casinos' kicking out time ...

Doinmummy · 14/08/2016 13:22

Do the police issue a discharge letter type thing saying no charges are being brought ? I'd be asking to see evidence .

ToastDemon · 14/08/2016 13:24

His story is about as plausible as the Tooth Fairy.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 14/08/2016 13:24

Bye net mum chums I'm off to -play-Pokemon-in-the-real-world take kids to the park...

KenAdams · 14/08/2016 13:24

Bollocks. Bollocks everywhere.

CotswoldStrife · 14/08/2016 13:25

Have you cancelled the debit card then? Did you pay for the hotel in advance or does he still have some cash on him.

His story does seem implausible, what you do about that is up to you OP. Is that what you want your children to cope with though, a parent who disappears in the middle of the night?

Snowflakes1122 · 14/08/2016 14:13

Don't believe his story.

What was he like in your night out? Usual self? Distracted? Did you get on ok? There may be some clues in his behaviour prior to his disappearing act.
As I said before, I think there's a premeditated element to all this with the not getting money while you were out together. He planned on doing whatever he really did.

This must have been such an awful night for you, and you deserve the truth. Hope you get to the bottom of this Flowers

Goingtobeawesome · 14/08/2016 14:14

Whatever has happened he didn't care enough about you and your children to find a way to get a message to you to let you know where he was.

BastardGoDarkly · 14/08/2016 14:25

He's lying.

Hope you're alright love? I'd be spitting fucking feathers.

We're here for you Flowers

WeekendAway · 14/08/2016 14:44

What a crock of shit. Even if it was true, he should have come straight back home to you and then nothing could have happened.

I really really don't like the sound of a man who goes back out to party on his own and leaves his wife and kids in a hotel room knowing damn well she is expecting him back and his phone is dead. What a loser he sounds.

I'm sure you could go to the Brighton nick and ask to see the duty officer to find out if this is true. Wouldn't the police released him with some sort of paperwork to show what happened?

YouTheCat · 14/08/2016 14:49

I hope you get to the bottom of this, Disco.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 14/08/2016 15:15

I'd sack him for being a selfish and irresponsible tosspot. And his lies are completely implausible, so he's also insulting your intelligence as well.

My guess is either drugs, a prostitute, a rent-boy or a combination thereof. Still, it wouldn't matter to me because he'd have been sacked anyway.

mumbathing · 14/08/2016 15:15

So he left about 12 and arrived back at 4.30, so in the space of 4.5hrs he went to the cash machine, paid the sitter, found a bar, had 2 drinks, made a scene/got into a fight so the landlord called the police who came and arrested him, took him back to the station, did all his paper work, locked him in the cells, then decided he had calmed down and sobered up enough to them be released (more paperwork!) and he made his way back to the hotel..... Wow that was a busy 4.5hrs he had!!!

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