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Original poster

Away from home and partner gone missing, help

620 replies

Discopanda · 14/08/2016 04:25

Posting here for traffic. We're in Brighton for the weekend and last night got a babysitter so we could go out for a few drinks. When we got in just before 12, DP went with babysitter to get cash to pay her, hasn't come back since. I guessed he'd gone on for a couple more drinks but everywhere will be closed now. His phone is off (it was low on battery when we were out), I don't have a working mobile just my laptop, he's got the only door key and I can't drive, so I am literally stuck here with our 2 DDs (1 and 4), check out is at 4 and I've got all our things and have no idea how I'm even going to be able to take the girls downstairs for breakfast without the key card to get back in after. I was considering calling the local A&E to see if he's got hurt or injured but don't want to wake them up. What do I do?!?!

OP posts:
Cliffdiver · 14/08/2016 11:40

Brighton custody centre is in Hollingbury, on the outskirts of Brighton.

It is highly unlikely your DH would be released from custody, get a Sunday service bus to central Brighton (assuming that is where you are if he was out past 4am drinking) and find his way back to the hotel by 10am.

Alicebannedit · 14/08/2016 11:41

.

NoahVale · 14/08/2016 11:42

WEre any UFO's involved did he say op?

Coconutty · 14/08/2016 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Macdaddylonglegs · 14/08/2016 11:44

P1inkpoppy we'very used the sitters agency to get a babysitter for our young children when we'very gone to a wedding and the children are being looked after in a hotel so I don't think that the story is that strange. We also use the agency at home as we have few other options of we want to go out and we'very always been super impressed with the professional and lovely sitters, usually nanny's or childminders looking to make some extra money.

I don't believe the DH story though, as others have said, sounds very fishey. How did 2 men end up running off with his debit card and yet he was arrested. Have you found out any more OP? For me it would be TOTALLY unacceptable if my DP buggered off after our night out for a few drinks. I'm afraid I don't think I could forgive or accept that. Just too selfish. Hope you're ok OPFlowers

hippydippybaloney · 14/08/2016 11:46

I would put good money on that being a lie. Does he have any proof whatsoever? Any reason why he didn't call?

debbs77 · 14/08/2016 11:49

Hmmmmmmmm......

TheHoneyBadger · 14/08/2016 11:49

oh dear OP - i would imagine it feels quite embarrassing to have the world see all this and be judging your marriage if this is actually a usual state of affairs that you put up with and have been ok with.

is this the sort of thing that could happen the other way round too so you both have the same standards or is it just him who would do this?

CookieDoughKid · 14/08/2016 11:51

Not sure if this thread is genuine. But if it is then your Dh is lying. I'd be calling the police to confirm his story.

liz70 · 14/08/2016 11:51

I was out with a mate one night, years ago. The club we were in got raided and outside mate started mouthing off at a copper who arrested him. He was carted off - this was shortly after midnight iir. I made my way home.

Then at about three and four I was awoken by my friend knocking at the door. He'd been released and made his way back to mine, where he was stopping over (mate not boyfriend).

My point being that people do get arrested and released in a few hours. All that said, the OP's DP does sound rather an arse. I would not be happy.

veryproudvolleyballmum · 14/08/2016 11:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 14/08/2016 11:52

Hmm, I wonder if the OP told him she was going to check the bank statement to see where he had been and then he came up with the stolen card story Hmm
OP you don't need to do anything just now. Police and bank records can be checked once you're home. And then you can also decide if you want to put up with this behaviour. Flowers

SoupDragon · 14/08/2016 11:53

I'm curious - Why would someone claim to have been with the police if it wasn't true, give it is so easy to check?

Which isn't to say that I don't think there is more to the story.

I think shagging the baby sitter is a little unlikely unless he has form or that kind of character.

Amelie10 · 14/08/2016 11:53

So this happened? You just picked a babysitter you didn't use before and left your kids and went out? And then both of you didn't make sure you had enough money to pay her? Also you booked into a 'big' hotel and yet it didn't cross your mind to ask for a second key, you genuinely thought you won't be able to get your stuff out? Hmm

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 14/08/2016 11:54

And no one assuming the babysitter slept with him has a) a good opinion of other women's professionalism or b) a sound grasp of reality

I agree. There are some very misogynistic comments on here.

Mix56 · 14/08/2016 11:56

ah yes the Casino.... & the money that has gone from your debit card is due to the muggers using it without the PIN.
How much has been spent in the Casino ? Casino Bar ?
I hope you & your girls are on your way home now. & he can FTFO

Bumpngrind85 · 14/08/2016 11:56

Who said anything about gay sex?! I simply suggested he may have enjoyed a local delicacy for breakfast. You lot and your filthy minds! Blush

Coconutty · 14/08/2016 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

P1nkP0ppy · 14/08/2016 12:00

Thanks Macdaddy, I stand corrected 😊
If it was via an agency wouldn't op have paid in advance or online/by phone and not directly to the sitter?
Either way I'm still Confused about the shenanigans.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 14/08/2016 12:02

Come on discopanda let us know you have tied him butt naked to Brighton Pier with a couple of v hot ring dognuts on his nether regions.... Shredded his clothes to make "go fuck yourself" bunting....
Seriously there's 300 net mum chums who would like to know you and the kids are ok...please

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 14/08/2016 12:08

bump. Maybe he had a hash brown(ie) instead....

Paperplain · 14/08/2016 12:10

You can still pay the sitter with cash if you book online - just pay the agency fee element on line. That's what I've done in the past anyway.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 14/08/2016 12:10

Pink no apparently you do pay at the end of the evening.

Although why neither parent had the wit to check before they got back to the hotel that they had money to pay her , or why neither parent had thought of checking at the start of the evening how much it would be and making sure they had cash at that point, is bizarre. But as OP doesn't seem to understand you can ask for a replacement key card (even if the concept of 2 cards is beyond her does she think no one has ever lost a card?) who knows?

The husband's story is utter nonsense.

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 14/08/2016 12:10

no funking Did you just say (whispers) 'net mum' (shudders and leaves thread)

midcenturymodern · 14/08/2016 12:14

I'm curious - Why would someone claim to have been with the police if it wasn't true, give it is so easy to check?

Because when you know you have someone's trust you can safely assume they won't check and it sounds better, sort of, than 'I fucked off to a club and pissed £150 up the wall without even doing you the curtesy of telling you'.

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