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Original poster

Away from home and partner gone missing, help

620 replies

Discopanda · 14/08/2016 04:25

Posting here for traffic. We're in Brighton for the weekend and last night got a babysitter so we could go out for a few drinks. When we got in just before 12, DP went with babysitter to get cash to pay her, hasn't come back since. I guessed he'd gone on for a couple more drinks but everywhere will be closed now. His phone is off (it was low on battery when we were out), I don't have a working mobile just my laptop, he's got the only door key and I can't drive, so I am literally stuck here with our 2 DDs (1 and 4), check out is at 4 and I've got all our things and have no idea how I'm even going to be able to take the girls downstairs for breakfast without the key card to get back in after. I was considering calling the local A&E to see if he's got hurt or injured but don't want to wake them up. What do I do?!?!

OP posts:
AlarmClock · 14/08/2016 11:01

Hmm I smell BULLSHIT...

No way would he have been released at that time of the morning. He's having you on, my dear. Wink

lovelybangers · 14/08/2016 11:01

He's not telling the truth.

LIZS · 14/08/2016 11:01

Of course he did Hmm so he was left to sober up in a police cell. I doubt he'd be let off scot free, if he'd just been a drunk victim he wouldn't have been arrested, he was probably aggressive to a po. Hope he isn't planning on driving you home anytime soon. I'd be furious tbh.

fluffiphlox · 14/08/2016 11:03

Somebody is having somebody on Hmm

chewingawasp · 14/08/2016 11:03

Hmm did the guys that 'stole' the debit card also use it to take all his cash or spend it in clubs and bars?

MrsSchadenfreude · 14/08/2016 11:06

Pants on fire.

Mix56 · 14/08/2016 11:08

& of course, he enjoys going out in a strange town & drinking alone at midnight

Bumpngrind85 · 14/08/2016 11:08

He may have had sausage for breakfast Hmm

RomeoIsBleeding · 14/08/2016 11:09

Yeah, sorry, none of this rings true or makes any sense.

Either he is lying or the OP is.

4pm check outs? One key card? A mugging? A night in the police cell?

Or a bit of flirting with the babysitter and an opportunistic ONS?

Assuming, of course, that the op is true...

Bumpngrind85 · 14/08/2016 11:09

He may have had sausage for breakfast Hmm

tigermoth · 14/08/2016 11:09

Glad he's back and I guess his story about ending up in a police cell is fairly checkable if you want to follow it up. The police must have some sort of record or he must have some paperwork?

If he was telling you a lie, my guess is he'd make his story far more uncheckable and not include the debit card theft as you now have the inconvenience of having to cancel the card.

happypoobum · 14/08/2016 11:10

So he leaves the hotel with the babysitter and goes to the nearest cashpoint (central Brighton is littered with them) and takes out cash for BS. He is going drinking, but doesn't take cash out for that, he goes off, in search of an all night drinking venue, waving his debit card around?

Then, he is either mugged and the only thing the muggers take is his debit card, or he is in a bar, gets card out to pay and two men wrestle it off him and run off?

At this point, he behaves so badly that the police have to intervene, and instead of looking for the muggers, they cart DH off to the cells (can he tell you where?) and then a couple of hours later they release him without charge? What paperwork does he have?

Not very credible is it? Flowers

RomeoIsBleeding · 14/08/2016 11:11

Cancelling a card isn't hugely inconvenient though, is it? But just enough of a real life impact to give the story some legs...

AlarmClock · 14/08/2016 11:11

Grin Bumpngrind85!!

Discobabe · 14/08/2016 11:12

There's nothing unusual about one key card. We had two rooms for a family of 5. One keycard for each, no landlines in the rooms and they only wrote the reception number on one card. When I took the other card and found my tv didn't work I had no number for reception.

RomeoIsBleeding · 14/08/2016 11:13

I've always been given one key card for each adult in the room. Even when 4 adults booked into a family room, so generally aimed at 2 adults and 2 children.

Thattimeofyearagain · 14/08/2016 11:13

Casino or strip club.

crayfish · 14/08/2016 11:13

Where I live, if you got arrested on a Saturday night you wouldn't be released until the Monday (ex DH is a cop). Maybe it's different elsewhere but I'm pretty sure no police force releases people at 5am on a Sunday...

bleedingnora · 14/08/2016 11:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisafakename · 14/08/2016 11:15

I think the OP has been on MN for a while so not sure why she would make this up. I think that at some hotels you can request a later check-out so maybe 4 pm is not that unlikely.

However, I doubt very much that her DP's story is true. It sounds incredibly implausible and if I were the OP, I would demand to see documentary proof, like an arrest record, crime number etc. Was he cautioned? Police stations aren't a doss-house for people who need to sober up. They would not take him there unless they arrested him. If he needed medical attention, he would have gone to hospital.

He sounds hideously irresponsible. What sort of person just goes out drinking on their own without telling their family who are waiting for them to return? He is a massively selfish prick and to be honest, I don't think I could continue to be in a relationship with someone like that. Let alone the fact that it seems likely that he had a one-night stand (although I presume not with the babysitter).

Rubies12345 · 14/08/2016 11:17

You could phone the police station and check it out, just say oh my husband hasn't come home just checking he wasn't arrested last night?

Gazelda · 14/08/2016 11:17

I'm glad he's safe. But I'd not be dropping this until you are satisfied you've got the full truth. His explanation sounds wildly implausible.

GirlWithTheLionHeart · 14/08/2016 11:17

Romeo, press the report button if you think somethings off.

sarahnova69 · 14/08/2016 11:18

discopanda I can imagine it's really hard to read some of these replies. The thing is, though, he is lying to you - no question
He was on a bender, and he came home when he was done and fed you a line to cover it up. And from what you said, it's not the first time, is it?

He is selfish and a liar
He either has an alcohol problem, or is a man child to a level that beggars belief - and does it really matter which?

What are YOU going to do now?

Finola1step · 14/08/2016 11:21

He's having you on. Brighton coppers are probably some of the best at dealing with idiots on a Saturday night. They've had plenty of experience. Your OH would have had to be really pushing it to get nicked at taken to the station. And they would have held him until the morning.

So, your OH got into some sort of trouble. Dodgy casino, seedy strip club or drugs. It may well be that he decided to have one last drink but trust me, something got out of hand.

Or maybe he was rather curious for a different experience?