AIBU for hating this lady for making me feel...

[JeffreyNeedsAHobby]

like an irresponsible pet owner?
Today we went to find a second goldfish as DC had decided our solo effort was getting lonely. We bought a 30lt tank from Pets at Home with a pump/castle/seaweed/gravel etc from them when we got him 3 months ago. At the time the salesman said we could have appx 4 fish of that size in this tank.
So FFWD 3 months and we go merrily into the store to purchase fist No2. However catsbum face lady cleaning the tank looks down sourly at us and explains that they will not be selling me a goldfish as the tank size is too small for 2 goldfish. Apparently they can grow to the size of COY CARP?!
So at this point I realise my mouth is hanging open and manage to pull myself together enough to say "Are you joking? How many fish do you have right there in that tank you are cleaning?" . This, she explains, this is different. This is a Holding Tank. She went on to suggest that I dig a large whole in the garden and create a pond, for my two sodding tiny goldfish.

Of course smallest DC starts to cry (thought she was 'rescuing' a fish tbf) and this woman literally doesn't flinch and turns back to her cleaning.

I was ridiculously furious and marched out saying the same. Called a vet friend who has seen the tank and she said she would probably be happy to see 4 in there, pond, in her mind, was worse as we have seagulls in our town and houses on every side have cats, plus you need a shady spot or the fish fry apparently. Nice.

So AIBU? I want to right a stinking complaints letter.

You can buy plastic bond relatively cheaply. Put a wire mesh just bellow the water to protects you from cats and birds

Pets at Home have had the same name for years so don't quite understand the "they keep changing their name" comment.

She may be referring to the fact some of the stores used to be PetSmart. I worked in PetSmart head office in Swindon in the late 1990s, I think by 1999 they had 92 stores across the UK. But the company struggled financially for a variety of reasons and in 1999 we were bought out by Pets At Home (and I was made redundant a week before Christmas, thanks PaH). So part of the purchase deal was that all PetSmart stores would be rebranded as Pets at Home as PetSmart is still trading in the US and Canada. That was all 17 years ago and although I'm sure Pets at Home have closed some old stores and opened some new they have not rebranded since.

Having worked in the Head Office of this sort of business, animal welfare is always top of the agenda. The worst thing for business is someone doing a Daily Mail Sad Face article because they've bought a rabbit and it died, even though the death was nothing to do with the pet shop chain. More than once we were all evacuated from Head Office because animal rights people said there was a bomb. Also with over 100 stores you cannot micro manage every member of staff - you issue policies, guidelines, give loads of training and try to recruit people with real knowledge and interest in animals, but someone working in a pet shop can't be an expert in fish, rabbits, birds, hamsters and lizards all at the same time. Staff turnover is relatively high too as it is in all areas of retail - long hours and low pay mean people move on.

The starter kits are just that - for starting off. They're for newly acquired fish and as they get bigger, you're advised to move them into a bigger tank. Staff in shops cannot force customers to buy a more expensive tank but can refuse the sale of livestock - we had an official complaint made about a customer who wanted a male and female mouse pair so he could breed babies to feed to his snake and was refused.

Also large pet chains know that everything they do is held up to intense scrutiny. They are licensed and inspected regularly, and work with large breeders who supply livestock to dozens of stores. They are not buying rabbits or hamsters from some random woman whose pet has got pregnant.

Not saying pet chains are perfect because there are always issues in every business but 99% of staff are trying their very best for their animals. Even if it's just a goldfish.

Mirri you are really being an arse. She's taken your points into account. She's spoken to a vet. Just leave her alone now. No need for the vitriol.

We have a similar sized tank and have small tropical fish instead of goldfish. Might be an idea if you can rehome the goldfish?

Fish grow to the size of their surroundings. Pets at home are twats when it comes to fish, but you can happily walk out with a rabbit no questions! I wouldn't buy fish from there anyway they will normally be dead within a month.

Fish grow to the size of their surroundings. Pets at home are twats when it comes to fish, but you can happily walk out with a rabbit no questions! I wouldn't buy fish from there anyway they will normally be dead within a month.

Average lifespan for a goldfish in captivity is 8-10 years but in the wild it's about 23+ years. The oldest goldfish ever recorded was 43!
So basically all those who are bragging that their goldfish lived to 8 years in their tiny tank has cut its life in half (at least), that's nothing to brag about at all!

I cannot understand why people do not do any research BEFORE they buy a pet. So many people do loads of research before they buy a car or kitchen appliance but when it comes to pets they just jump in feet first. It's completely irresponsible.

Don´t give away your fish just because some people here say so!

Enjoy your pets. Your fish have room to grow now and you can update to a larger tank in a year or two if you need it.

I love animals and have several, but the way some people talk about pet ownership on here, unless you devote your entire life to their care, you shouldn´t have them. Which would be very sad for all the pets out there who would have to then be rehomed to about half a dozen people nationwide.

I can really appreciate how bloody furious you're feeling, and rightly so....I'd want to scorch the face off her with a verbal blast! But, is it really worth it? You'd get yourself in a right lather and be upset all day! Go to another pet shop get another fish, then when you've calmed down write a letter of complaint (not a rant) to the company!

Op I had exact same conversation with a lady in pets at home, and she was also cleaning out a tank with about 50 fish in it,

Wonder if it's the same store? She had a stinking attitude-but she got it back as good as she gave it out

Also
Yes goldfish can grow big but I was under the impression they grew to the size of their surroundings- maybe I'm totally wrong though

OP won't be able to see when her tank is too small because the size of the tank will stop the fish from growing in a healthy way.

If people took the same attitude to dogs as some people on this thread have towards fish they'd be taken to pieces.

I did a similar thing- a friend had 2 fish in a tank which we borrowed for a bit and then said she didn't want them back so I researched how to look after them and so realised I didn't have the time/money/energy to do it properly nor would I be able to ignore what I knew and keep them in a tank. I rehomed them with friend's help to someone with a pond. Kids were upset for about 5 seconds. They know now we'll never get any pet that lives in a tank or cage it just doesn't sit right with me.

Your fish are fine for another 12 months - during that time you find someone locally who has a pond, with existing fish, that they can join - ideally next summer.

They are babies, you tell the DC you are looking after them until they are big enough to go out into the pond.

You keep the tank and get a few of the tiny cold water fish that don't grow any bigger.

Ignore Mimi

I really wouldn't worry about it OP. Your fish will be fine.

I don't think personally think fish have the capacity to 'suffer', in that they aren't swimming round thinking 'I'm so unhappy, fml'. They just exist. Yes they might grow bigger or live longer in more optimal conditions but they're basically fine.

My local pets at home the same.

think

I looked into having goldfish last year but research showed me they are more tricky to look after than tropical fish. They require a large tank of water (much bigger than you would think) because of the high output of waste/nitrates. They need a large turnover of water and it has to be carefully monitored as the imbalance will cause illnesses. Just because you see goldfish in small murky bowls/tanks with no filtration etc doesn't mean they are healthy!
My BIL has two goldfish and had to keep upgrading the tank. Even with him being careful, they've had one or two die and have funny growths. And one bullies the other.
I grew up with tropical fish in a tank and don't remember this much effort!
I think you were given bad advice OP. Maybe upgrade the tank or find someone to take it on and get some tropical fish?

How to look after goldfish if you really have to have them.

My two goldfish, which I won from the fair are 26 and going strong. I think my tank is 120l.

Oyster your post made me laugh

Mirri do you think, perhaps, maybe... you might be a tad overinvested in this thread?

OP do not build a huge, expensive child death trap to house your tiny goldfish. This is insanity.

Today we went to find a second goldfish as DC had decided our solo effort was getting lonely.

OP, I don't think goldfish have the capacity to feel lonely either.