AIBU for hating this lady for making me feel...

[JeffreyNeedsAHobby]

like an irresponsible pet owner?
Today we went to find a second goldfish as DC had decided our solo effort was getting lonely. We bought a 30lt tank from Pets at Home with a pump/castle/seaweed/gravel etc from them when we got him 3 months ago. At the time the salesman said we could have appx 4 fish of that size in this tank.
So FFWD 3 months and we go merrily into the store to purchase fist No2. However catsbum face lady cleaning the tank looks down sourly at us and explains that they will not be selling me a goldfish as the tank size is too small for 2 goldfish. Apparently they can grow to the size of COY CARP?!
So at this point I realise my mouth is hanging open and manage to pull myself together enough to say "Are you joking? How many fish do you have right there in that tank you are cleaning?" . This, she explains, this is different. This is a Holding Tank. She went on to suggest that I dig a large whole in the garden and create a pond, for my two sodding tiny goldfish.

Of course smallest DC starts to cry (thought she was 'rescuing' a fish tbf) and this woman literally doesn't flinch and turns back to her cleaning.

I was ridiculously furious and marched out saying the same. Called a vet friend who has seen the tank and she said she would probably be happy to see 4 in there, pond, in her mind, was worse as we have seagulls in our town and houses on every side have cats, plus you need a shady spot or the fish fry apparently. Nice.

So AIBU? I want to right a stinking complaints letter.

And yes Trip - we have several friends who keep 5 or more in smaller tanks and they haven't grown. I simply thought they stayed this size. Our tank was actually looked at as rather large by these families too

Exactly Doin. They should have to have them in ponds when they sell them, not "holding tanks" to give you an idea of the scale you need and what is expected. Those small tanks should particularly not be aimed at kids (finding nemo pics/pink/blue/pirates/mermaids)

This is crazy.

Your goldfish will be eaten by herons in a pond. It's quite a lot of trouble and expense to go to so that some big ungainly bird can swoop down one morning and gobble them with one gulp.

I kept many goldfish alive in a tank that was about 19 litres for years. We accumulated the goldfish at a school fair year after year even though I told the DCs to keep clear of the goldfish game. One by one as they grew enormous I rehomed them with a friend who breeds them. By enormous I mean 6 - 8 inches long without factoring in tailfins.

I read about water ph, good types of food and where to place the tank, how to get the fish from the bag into the water and not shock it. I didn't read anything about sizes of goldfish and tanks as I assumed the shop would know about that - they sold me the tank and the fish and said it was job done. I was under the impression that only the fancy split tailed ones grew. I certainly haven't ever known that they all grow to the size of the tank or that normal ones can grow to 10inches.

No I'm not that naive. The shop stocked items that they then refused to sell as it would be unfair to the fish!

You can prevent fish being eaten by Herons.

As an aside, OP, you could look at above ground ponds as opposed to digging one. You don't need to panic yet though, they'll be ok for a while

It does feel a bit surreal Math. I don't want to be accused of cruelty, however. I am wondering if they would fare better with the RSPCA (do they put down goldfish if no one chooses them? I can't imagine they are as popular as dogs and cats?). No one around here has a pond - I had always assumed because of the seagulls!

Mirri you can think what you like. I am certainly not on here trolling about sodding goldfish

Mirri, every comment on this thread by you has been ever so informative. Please. Continue.

She was right though.

The tank is too small - your fish will be living in an environment that is toxic to them.

Just because they sell small tanks it doesn't mean that those tanks aren't cruel.

It gives me some faith that a staff member in Pets At Home knew what they talking about!

Mirri I agree it's totally off for the OP to have moaned about the woman in the pet shop and accuse her of being wrong. BUT so many people have been there with goldfish and the OP is actually asking now and looking to provide something better for them in the future, so maybe cut her a little slack?

A lot of people would just ignore and keep them in a bowl tbf...

You can cover a fishpond with mesh to keep out birds and cats, also handy if there are small children around. There are also winter covers. (We've come a long way from goldfish in wee round bowls!)

Can anyone tell me what they do with goldfish at the RSPCA then? I think Mirri at the very least has decided they would be better off with them, but I do care.

I'm looking for actual advice now please.

Could you donate the fish back to the (or a) pet store?

I don't know Jeff . Don't give up. Do them a pond, your daughter will love it :)

Thanks Burst - I xposted.

From what I see online a 1.5mt pond in direct sunlight is the best for the plants. "several goldfish can live quite happily" apparently. So a site locally builds those for £600 plus VAT. I simply cannot afford that plus the only sunny spot is bang in the middle of the grass.

Looks like it will have to be the RSPCA.