To be angry that MIL may have indoctrinated my child?

[FruitCider]

I've been away for just under a week volunteering abroad and got home this morning. My mother in law (reverend) has been to stay with my partner whilst I went away. I'm completely atheist, partner is agnostic. MIL tried to give me a nativity set at Christmas for DD and a book full of bible stories, I declined and said I didn't want my daughter exposed to religion by people with a bias to a particular religion until she was 7/8.

I've come home today and my 3.5yo DD is continuously talking about Jesus, how God made the planet and told me I should thank god that my journey was safe. My partner says MIL had not mentioned religion when he was at home but he had to leave DD with MIL on Tuesday and Thursday whilst he went to work.

I'm absolutely RAGING! AIBU to be this angry? I literally want to banish MIL from my house and tell her she is not allowed contact with my DD for the foreseeable future.

Also is my DD likely to forget about God as she grows up if it's not mentioned again? Or is she now indoctrinated forever?

Sorry to those who may find this post offensive, I just wanted my DD to make her own mind up when she was old enough to understand that religion is a belief and there is no firm evidence for a God. She could have decided herself to be a Christian and I would have accepted that.

Yes, I am a bit old fashioned in that I think that if you have kids you shouldn't be needing to acclimatise them to your regularly being away for periods of 4 or 5 days by the time they are 3

WTF? DH worked 200 miles away when DC1 was born - that's where the work was. Plenty of people fathers have no choice but to be on tour with the military or on oil rigs to earn money for their families. What bastards.

Yes, I am a bit old fashioned in that I think that if you have kids you shouldn't be needing to acclimatise them to your regularly being away for periods of 4 or 5 days by the time they are 3.

I take it you don't work in health care

Regularly acclimatised?

It's not about being old fashioned or modern.

Children can do very well without one of the parents for a few days.
Some children even spend weeks at their relatives while parents work or go on holiday. Clearly neglected.

I've always said that some people don't believe like me, some people do believe like .... and some people aren't sure like.... . I then told them that it was up to them to make up their own minds. That discussion took place several times over their childhood. They've chosen not to believe, despite being around some definite believers.

Chill out op. Your issue is your mil in general not religion.

Chillax OP. She's only 3 years old and will receive a lot of other influences in her life within and without your control. She has not been scarred for life by your MIL.

My kids often go for a week's break with grandma & grandad who have even taken them abroad. But I don't then chuck a sht ft if my mum has said or done something with which I don't approve. So long as they are safe and happy, I am grateful. They usually aren't ready til they are about 4.

But imagine you wanted to adopt a dog and said you would often be away for periods of 4-5 days?

I just think if you are going to go off for a week whether it's navel gazing in Thailand or doing something ver ver worthwhile then you can't kick off when those who are picking up the slack for you, talk about their job with your kid.

Especially when they've only talked about God in what seems like quite a general benign way. If they'd taken your child on a Westboro picket line or outside an abortion clinic, you'd have a point!

But imagine you wanted to adopt a dog and said you would often be away for periods of 4-5 days?

Are you saying parents shouldn't work in healthcare dolly? some of your ideas are rather strange. I'm not away, I simply leave the house before she wakes up and get home after she has gone to bed. That's what happens when you work 13.5 hour shifts when you have a small child!

I think it a huge advantage for a child to mix with lots of different people and realise early on that not everyone thinks the same but people get on perfectly well and don't fall out over it. Far healthier than trying to control the child's whole environment - which can't be done anyway.

Erm... Dolly, the MIL didn't pick up the slack. She imposed herself.

The OP chose the people who'd "pick up the slack" from people she trusted. NOT the MIL.

So, presumably, that gives the OP every right to complain about what MIL did or not.

Still, if I was seriously unhappy with anything any of my relatives did while doing me a favour, I'd certainly take note and not ask them again for similar favours. Which is what the OP is considering. Quite rightly.

Dolly, I don't think the dad was away was he? MIL just waited till he was at work. I for one would rather pay for good childcare than get bad childcare for free. I have loved ones who are religious, none of them feel the need to have little jabs at indoctrinating my kids, DC have a great time with them. If they got spoonfed Christianity every time we'd find other childcare that was more in line with our parenting approach. If they still kept getting their little jabs of Christianity in when we were with them then I'd consider them not very nice people and not want to see them. It's not a necessary part of being Christian, my in laws manage not to do it, including the vicar, we didn't even have to ask them not to they just didn't do it because they are respectful of other people's beliefs.