To think that when you're using play equipment in the park it's rude for parents to stand next to you waiting for you to finish

[Qedwai]

I'm wondering if I'm the only one who hates this or if I'm being unreasonable.

When I'm in the park with my Sons and we want to go on something we play on something else until it's free and then quickly go on it once it becomes available. We don't stand right next to the parent and child waiting for them to get off! If we know something is really popular we will only stay on 5 mins so that everyone gets a chance to play.

One thing I've noticed consistently, is that there are a small number of parents who will stand right next to you with their child, literally waiting for you to get off the equipment. In the process, making you feel rushed and uncomfortable. Especially if they make a big deal of the fact they are waiting by saying stuff like 'won't be long now and you can go on once this boy has got off'.

Today I was in a large, fairly busy park and I put my Son in the swing. I had only just put him in when a woman went right behind me and said to her daughter 'we will go on once this boy has finished' she then proceeded to stand still, right next to me, with a grumpy face until we took our Son out of the swing'.

It's something I would never ever do. I think it's rude and unnecessary. Standing nearby is different but right next to the person is rude.

If a park is so busy it's necessary to queue for things I suppose that's different, but i'm not talking about parks like that. Just normal parks.

I know I probably am being a bit unreasonable but it's happened a few times now, and it's really getting on my nerves.

I wouldn't want you to rush in the first place, Pearl. That wouldn't be the reason for me explaining something to my child.

However taking longer because of an innocent comment is truly passive aggressive behavior and really childish.

If only I had nothing else to worry about in life.

Absolutelynothingelse if I left my son to his own devices, your kid woul be grabbed off that swing and shoved out the way. Is that preferable to you

Can you explain what an intrusion into your personal space is when waiting next to a swing?
There was a rubber area under the swings and I used to use that as the border of where my children had to stand when we were waiting as it was safe from being hit. It's not really possible to stand any closer than that.

Re a child with special needs though, that's different obvs.
Communication is the key here and an explanation to allow distressed child a go for a while then allow first child back on after.

But Pearl, all we were asking you to do, was to continue your turn exactly as normal, there is no need to be MORE patient, just don't be nasty and stay on the swings for longer because you have decided I am being rude when I am only trying to support my child.

Waiting for godot, yes actually that would be preferable as it would teach him not to hog the swing without consequences from another child.

Luckily for me my DC go off and play elsewhere till said swing is free and know to get off it if there is a queue, they are old enough at 9 & 10.

YABVU

In fact just yesterday at the park lots of kids were on the swings, some waiting their turn, some hogging them. My 2 were sharing a swing for a short while and one boy who was bored of waiting asked my DS to play football with him so off they went.
There wasn't a single parent standing there huffing and puffing that their little darlings weren't getting a go quick enough.

So..you two think people with kids with additional needs need to act like Uriah Heep and explain their child's issues so that you can deign to give their child a turn and not deliberately wait assuming they are just rude?

But how would the parent know that you perceive them to be passive aggressive. Perhaps, if your child is neurotypical, you could be a bit kinder and assess the situation before just deciding that they are ruining your experience

Too close is leaning on the post
Mine would sometimes hold the post because that would keep them still and safe. It would reduce the chances of them running off.

Absolutely It's not always about a distressed child waiting, it's a child who has additional needs who is learning to wait.

It would be so awful for the child if the parent was constantly telling everyone around them that they were autistic. They have a right to a bit of privacy. They have a right to feel like they are not a complete misfit and have to apologise for their very existence wherever they go.

Waiting by the edge of the swing boundary (whether leaning on he post or not ) is not 'getting in your face'

And once more, most have said they are not trying to hurry you - they are trying to explain waiting and turn taking to their child.

And no, you are not owed an explanation concerning what someone is saying to their child.

You have had I explained (more than once) why moving away or taking a moment to explain is not always possible (or desirable - once more, it's not all about you).

Yes you are deliberately refusing to consider the possibility of additional needs in such a situation Pearlman. Autism awareness has a long way to go.

Absolutelynothingelse, so you'd rather I let my autistic son grab your child off the swing rather than teach him how to wait his turn? How bizarre

If someone is appearing to get in my face on purpose and loudly hurry me up
Does that really ever happen?
I never experienced such a thing.

My dd would be leaning on the posts due to poor proprioception.

I would be leaning on the posts due to having a dodgy hip.

Neither of us would be leaning passive aggressively.

One point to note is that JR is one of the few areas you can still get legal aid. If you qualify and you can find a legal aid solicitor to take the case, you may be better off using this route there is better protection against adverse costs orders were you to lose and the application process should mean you wouldn't get funding if it was a hopeless case.