To think that when you're using play equipment in the park it's rude for parents to stand next to you waiting for you to finish

[Qedwai]

I'm wondering if I'm the only one who hates this or if I'm being unreasonable.

When I'm in the park with my Sons and we want to go on something we play on something else until it's free and then quickly go on it once it becomes available. We don't stand right next to the parent and child waiting for them to get off! If we know something is really popular we will only stay on 5 mins so that everyone gets a chance to play.

One thing I've noticed consistently, is that there are a small number of parents who will stand right next to you with their child, literally waiting for you to get off the equipment. In the process, making you feel rushed and uncomfortable. Especially if they make a big deal of the fact they are waiting by saying stuff like 'won't be long now and you can go on once this boy has got off'.

Today I was in a large, fairly busy park and I put my Son in the swing. I had only just put him in when a woman went right behind me and said to her daughter 'we will go on once this boy has finished' she then proceeded to stand still, right next to me, with a grumpy face until we took our Son out of the swing'.

It's something I would never ever do. I think it's rude and unnecessary. Standing nearby is different but right next to the person is rude.

If a park is so busy it's necessary to queue for things I suppose that's different, but i'm not talking about parks like that. Just normal parks.

I know I probably am being a bit unreasonable but it's happened a few times now, and it's really getting on my nerves.

Anyway at least we have an insight into the workings of the mind of the lady who caused the boy in my anecdote to get so distressed he bashed his head off the ground.

She didn't consider the possibility of additional needs, was ignorant about them, and assumed the child and parent were rude so made him wait longer.

A bit like you would be Pearlman.

It's not really the best we can do as human beings is it though?

I don't stand next to the swings when my DC are on them as they are too old for that, so none of this applies to me.
My DC get on the swings when they are free and get off them when there are people waiting. They use their time wisely.

I don't expect endless patience.

I do expect other people not to play stupid mind games which will unduly distress my child.

I don't expect any turn to be cut short, I do expect some consideration for a child clearly struggling, rather than an action designed to maximise their distress.

I don't care at all what people think of me, but I do think that if you can't work out why I might not able to tell you (or might not want to) what I am doing when I am repeatedly reassuring my 12 year old, then it's not really me with the problem.

Of course it's rude. people going on about queues? I've never seen a queue yet for swings and stuff at parks. There's a way of waiting for your child to get a turn without making people feel uncomfortable. Yanbu.

If I saw a child having trouble waiting and their parent explaining to them I'd definitely consider the possibility of ASD.

In an ideal world everyone would. But campaigning for awareness still has a way to go.

Thinking outside your own experience is a good thing to do though.

Well aren't you the lucky one. Some of us have to helicopter parent and we sure as hell wish we didn't have to

I agree with you Panda

Pandasrock - your attitude stinks to be fair, why would we be able to work out why you are behaving that way.
You will look like a neurotic mother to everyone so you should care.
My DS would be mortified if I stood there glaring at everyone waiting for him to have his go, he would rather leave and go home.

Either explaining to a stranger that my child has autism and hoping they will make allowances or my child having a meltdown. Great choices.

Encountering people with a little empathy and understanding. Priceless.

How about you assume there might be a purpose Pearl and expect people who are passive aggressive to explain their short comings to you? Rather than expecting people with additional needs to justify themselves.
A cheery wave and a quick "We're hassling you along" should do it...

You need to communicate and not glare at everyone in a playground.
We are not mind readers.

She would only look neurotic to those unable to think outside their own bubble who have no awareness of additional needs or any willingness to get their heads out of their own arses, to be fair.

Expecting people dealing with additional needs to go the extra mile to receive the decent treatment given naturally to those who arent is disablist.

Well hopefully this thread will make people more aware of children with additional needs (that are not obvious) and their parents in the playground.

I am guilty of this

TBF though I only ever do this with the baby swings as it was the only thing my kid could actually go on in the whole park and I found if I didn't wait right beside, as soon as someone finished someone else would fly over immediately..

And basic manners also dictates not expecting people you don't know to reveal personal details about themselves.
So just assume there may be a reason. Job done.

I don't think YABU. Someone waiting their turn patiently is different to standing over you and breathing down your neck.

It would piss me off too.

I don't teach my child that if he wants to use something that's already in use, he should crowd the child using it and breathe down their neck until they leave.

That's just rude.

Fanjo, you're right. Parts of this thread are priceless.

Absolutely you really think that a parent stood with a 12 year old, explaining fully and repeatedly every nuance of the social situation is neurotic rather than someone dealing with SN?

Oh to live in such a sheltered and blinkered world.