To think that when you're using play equipment in the park it's rude for parents to stand next to you waiting for you to finish

[Qedwai]

I'm wondering if I'm the only one who hates this or if I'm being unreasonable.

When I'm in the park with my Sons and we want to go on something we play on something else until it's free and then quickly go on it once it becomes available. We don't stand right next to the parent and child waiting for them to get off! If we know something is really popular we will only stay on 5 mins so that everyone gets a chance to play.

One thing I've noticed consistently, is that there are a small number of parents who will stand right next to you with their child, literally waiting for you to get off the equipment. In the process, making you feel rushed and uncomfortable. Especially if they make a big deal of the fact they are waiting by saying stuff like 'won't be long now and you can go on once this boy has got off'.

Today I was in a large, fairly busy park and I put my Son in the swing. I had only just put him in when a woman went right behind me and said to her daughter 'we will go on once this boy has finished' she then proceeded to stand still, right next to me, with a grumpy face until we took our Son out of the swing'.

It's something I would never ever do. I think it's rude and unnecessary. Standing nearby is different but right next to the person is rude.

If a park is so busy it's necessary to queue for things I suppose that's different, but i'm not talking about parks like that. Just normal parks.

I know I probably am being a bit unreasonable but it's happened a few times now, and it's really getting on my nerves.

Why do you imagine parents explaining something to their children are automatically being passive aggressive and trying to rush you?

I would assume they are just teaching their child to wait and probably engage them in some polite conversation about how busy they park is.

I don't understand how people can be so defensive about this.

I remember that too, fanjo.

Dd1 would have been similarly distressed when she was tiny (and so easier to restrain/stop), and thankfully now she is a lot calmer.

But yes, people can be right cunts sometimes.

Maybe you should be understanding that there are many different reasons for behaving in a certain way and not just judge everyone by NT standards automatically. Think outside the bubble.

Or maybe you could try to work out why someone might behave that way, instead of assuming the worst, and deliberately intensifying a child's distress. It's not that hard to work out - child needing a lot of support and encouragement to meet a simple societal expectation, and an adult unable to do anything other than focus on said child. Doesn't take a genius to work it out (and there would probably be rising levels of distress as another clue).

Umm, I wasn't actually talking about you, Pearlman. I was agreeing with fanjo about the post she remembered.

But you do seem to think everything is about you - the parents are always being passive aggressive towards you instead of helping their children.

I can quite honestly say that never, in the entire time I took my children to the park, did I experience another parent standing too close or loudly asserting that they were waiting for my child to finish in a way that I felt was a dig at me.

It's very clear from this thread, that there are lots of parents who have absolutely no understanding of how hard it is when your child has additional needs. I'm putting all of my energy and attention into supporting my child, I don't have the time or inclination to have to explain myself to another adult - I also think my child has a right to not have their disability broadcast to every man and his dog.

In order to ensure that you are being considerate to other people with disabilities, you need to readjust your perception of what you consider to be rude, and if someone is annoying you by talking to their child, maybe you should stop and think - 'I won't take that personally, because they might be having a much harder time than me and need to speak to their child that way'

Well the kid was really crying and distressed.

Anyone who didn't have their head up their own arse could have thought that maybe some issues were at play there.

But the 10 minute turn is obviously much more important.

I can't believe you are defending the woman in that anecote, who is one of the biggest cunts I have ever heard of.

It really isn't passive aggressive to be reassuring your child that their turn will come. Jeezo, it's not all about you pearlman. Can't you see that?

If I say not long now darling to my DD it's because I am reassuring her about the wait. It's a bit egocentric to see that as passive aggressive tbh.

Sorry, but it isn't my responsibility to psychically anticipate your inability to abide by social norms.
sighs
But wouldn't the world be a nicer place if people did think beyond themselves and consider that another person behaving in a way that doesn't fit those social norms, might have a good reason for it.
Why should people with non-obvious disabilities have to advertise it to the rest of the world in order to get a little bit of understanding?

Come on, we all know that this is rude

No, sorry we all don't.

It wouldn't bother me one bit because it's a perfectly normal thing to say to children who are naturally impatient.

Yanbu OP
Children should just go off and play and come back when the swing or whatever is free.
I always think it's really sad when a child stands around waiting for a piece of equipment to become free instead of just playing elsewhere happily.
Even sadder still when annoying parent also stands there queuing making their passive aggressive remarks.
The helicopter parent shouldn't even be anywhere near the equipment, how ridiculously sad is that.

It's a children's playground let them deal with it themselves ffs.

So unless I actually told you that my son was autistic and struggling with waiting his turn, you would deem me passive aggressive and deliberately take longer? Is that what you're saying?