To think that when you're using play equipment in the park it's rude for parents to stand next to you waiting for you to finish

[Qedwai]

I'm wondering if I'm the only one who hates this or if I'm being unreasonable.

When I'm in the park with my Sons and we want to go on something we play on something else until it's free and then quickly go on it once it becomes available. We don't stand right next to the parent and child waiting for them to get off! If we know something is really popular we will only stay on 5 mins so that everyone gets a chance to play.

One thing I've noticed consistently, is that there are a small number of parents who will stand right next to you with their child, literally waiting for you to get off the equipment. In the process, making you feel rushed and uncomfortable. Especially if they make a big deal of the fact they are waiting by saying stuff like 'won't be long now and you can go on once this boy has got off'.

Today I was in a large, fairly busy park and I put my Son in the swing. I had only just put him in when a woman went right behind me and said to her daughter 'we will go on once this boy has finished' she then proceeded to stand still, right next to me, with a grumpy face until we took our Son out of the swing'.

It's something I would never ever do. I think it's rude and unnecessary. Standing nearby is different but right next to the person is rude.

If a park is so busy it's necessary to queue for things I suppose that's different, but i'm not talking about parks like that. Just normal parks.

I know I probably am being a bit unreasonable but it's happened a few times now, and it's really getting on my nerves.

Your perception that people are being rude is a problem, Pearlman, because it assumes that others are in attack mode and makes you feel a need to defend. You are defending a set of rules that you have made up in your own head. It's quite unnecessary to be so rigid and such a stickler, and stressful too.

Pearlman some of your posts have been deleted..

Wonder why

There is a huge difference between what you are doing and what others are doing, Pearlman.

Your approach is to guard against perceived rudeness and teach a lesson to those you perceive to be rude. You anticipate attack. You respond with passive aggression.

You doggedly insist that unreasonable time elapsed on the equipment is all in the eye of the beholder - a position where you set yourself up to have to defend in a one on one situation and you will not consider compromise unless others volunteer information that is actually none of your business about their child.

As I said before, it is really odd not to have empathy as your default attitude, and to proceed with your radar bristling for infringements of a set of rules you have set up in your head.

I'm going to think rudeness before I think disability
Why though? Why, when you have the training to recognise developmental disorders, would you not even entertain the possibility that a child leaning against the pole being assured by the parent that it will be their turn soon has a disability, unless the parent discloses that information to you? By assuming they are rude, you then righteously punish them by making them wait even longer!
It is just plain nasty.

Because they are disablist

As many people have said to you

Just says it all Pearlman lol

1). Anyone who thinks that people who are standing in a queue to go on a piece of play equipment talking to their kids (which is good manners and the social norm) is OTT, and I suspect has a predisposition to being preoccupied with themselves. I can't think of a single reason that they would take something not even related to them so personally.
2). Why the hell should a parent have to explain to every stranger they meet what issues their child has, purely so that they can be treated with respect. Surely that should be the default.

Well I didn't delete the posts

Surely you don't need to be trained in diagnostics to behave in an inclusive and respectful way?

You're not a teacher. Absolutely no way

But in what way is someone queuing to use something being disrespectful to you? You describe people saying 'you can go on after this little boy', there's some serious extrapolation or projection going on here if you perceive that to be rude. It's a legitimate way of dealing with the issue of supply and demand when you have kids.

Haven't RTFT, but YABU.

If something is being used my kids are told they need to wait till the person is finished. I wouldn't stand over them till the did so.

I also don't agree with the general concept of 'sharing' kids are taught to give whatever it is they have to someone else if they are asked for it. This isn't sharing.
For example , if I was reading a paper and someone asked me for it, I would tell them yes, once I'm finished with it. The child equivalent of this is to insist on having it prior to being finished with it.

My kids can play on an item for as long as they wish, children need to know they can't demand whatever they want, and have it immediately.

Christ, there are some petty, passive aggressive tossers on the loose out there.

You don't need to diagnose anything, you just need to acknowledge that a child standing by the pole being reassured that it will be their turn soon could quite possibly have additional needs so might not be being rude to you, and give them the benefit of the doubt!
(not that I even see that behaviour as being rude from anyone anyway)