To think that when you're using play equipment in the park it's rude for parents to stand next to you waiting for you to finish

[Qedwai]

I'm wondering if I'm the only one who hates this or if I'm being unreasonable.

When I'm in the park with my Sons and we want to go on something we play on something else until it's free and then quickly go on it once it becomes available. We don't stand right next to the parent and child waiting for them to get off! If we know something is really popular we will only stay on 5 mins so that everyone gets a chance to play.

One thing I've noticed consistently, is that there are a small number of parents who will stand right next to you with their child, literally waiting for you to get off the equipment. In the process, making you feel rushed and uncomfortable. Especially if they make a big deal of the fact they are waiting by saying stuff like 'won't be long now and you can go on once this boy has got off'.

Today I was in a large, fairly busy park and I put my Son in the swing. I had only just put him in when a woman went right behind me and said to her daughter 'we will go on once this boy has finished' she then proceeded to stand still, right next to me, with a grumpy face until we took our Son out of the swing'.

It's something I would never ever do. I think it's rude and unnecessary. Standing nearby is different but right next to the person is rude.

If a park is so busy it's necessary to queue for things I suppose that's different, but i'm not talking about parks like that. Just normal parks.

I know I probably am being a bit unreasonable but it's happened a few times now, and it's really getting on my nerves.

No-one should have to announce to anyone about how they are disabled in order for that person to respect their need.
An assumption that a person is nt is wrong.

They have been reported. I wouldn't take a delay over weekend in addressing your comments to mean that they aren't disablist, by the way.

And wow a "new" goady poster hath appeared.

Angry that was an excellent post.

I think some are just being wilfully obtuse now. Unsure why.

Umm, nope, Pearlman, sorry - you specifically told me that if I wasn't able to talk to you to tell you why I was acting the way I was then you wouldn't alter your behaviour in any way. That's after me stating my dd is 12, and outlining the type of conversation o need to have with her (waaaay beyond what is usual with a 3 year old, tbh, let alone a 12 year old!).

So, goady then, or now?

Because there isn't any other plausible explanation for your posts.

Pearlman well let's wait and see.

Pearlman: There are no rules about this sort of thing, so what = too long is subjective.

Everyone bar a few individuals with brass necks (you included it seems) has a sense of how long is too long.

Groups of people are well able to do the mental maths the includes pieces of equipment, number of children, and amount of time. This is because most people have an innate sense of what is fair and most do not go out of their way to be pig-headed and unpleasant and frankly up themselves to the point where they make small children spend their time in a park standing by the equipment waiting longer than they should have to in order to to have a lesson taught them.

If someone is making me and my child feel uncomfortable and I think they are being deliberately rude, I will respond accordingly unless they give me the information I need to understand their situation better.
By standing in a queue for play equipment, talking to their child? You don't disagree with the principle but in practice are willing to discriminate by stating that someone should declare a disability. I and others have explained the dichotomy of what you are saying enough times now and I have better things to do with my time than engage with someone who appears to lack both self awareness and empathy. So I'm off. I stand by everything I have said.

Pearlman: I have said they are not obliged, unless they want me to be empathetic.

Anyone else a bit to come across someone whose default attitude isn't empathetic? Who wants others to provide the information that would elicit empathy or otherwise a visit to the park is a dog eat dog experience for everyone...

Only on Mumsnet could it be argued that queueing and reminding your child they need to wait their turn by playground equipment is rude yet taking your time on said equipment completely oblivious to the queue forming is fine

Not completely oblivious to the queue - some think it is ok to actually take longer if you don't like the way the parents/children are queuing.

And a tip for the op. If the fact that you are keeping other people waiting is starting to make you feel uncomfortable that should be your cue to move on. Hth.

Excuse us interrupting the thread , just want to make a plea for kindness and support . It is the weekend afterall....

Last week, I was in a park in Leeds. We were visiting. The park was understandably busy. My 17 month old wanted to go on the swing. There were only 2 baby swings and a few zillion toddlers. If we wanted a turn on the swing, you queue. What else can you do? Go and play on something else and when you turn around someone else is already on it. Potentially your child would never get a turn if you didn't queue because someone else jumps on next.

If we want to be served at a till, we queue until it is our turn. If we want ice cream from the ice cream van, we queue until it is our turn to ask and pay, if we want to get on a bus, we queue to wait our turn to get on it.

How many times do people need to be told, that in 'their' opinion, YABU. Why is it such a problem for people to have someone else wait their turn to use something???

And a plea for stopping being disablist?

People are capable of attaining a group consensus, Pearlman. Not you obviously. But others are.

You choose frame the group consensus aspect of engaging with park equipment as a one against one situation where you are not going to be dictated to, or lose, to a waiting child or parent. There is a deficit in your approach here.

A child exposed to a parent's combative as opposed to collaborative approach in group situations will experience more stress than necessary in future dealings with peers. Anxiety about having something taken away will overshadow the more positive and far less stressful approach of seeking a win win solution for everyone.

Agreed bumsex. I commented a few hours ago and can't believe it's still going. I have seen the playground in a whole new light and realised that the it's not just the little ones acting like children.....