To think that when you're using play equipment in the park it's rude for parents to stand next to you waiting for you to finish

[Qedwai]

I'm wondering if I'm the only one who hates this or if I'm being unreasonable.

When I'm in the park with my Sons and we want to go on something we play on something else until it's free and then quickly go on it once it becomes available. We don't stand right next to the parent and child waiting for them to get off! If we know something is really popular we will only stay on 5 mins so that everyone gets a chance to play.

One thing I've noticed consistently, is that there are a small number of parents who will stand right next to you with their child, literally waiting for you to get off the equipment. In the process, making you feel rushed and uncomfortable. Especially if they make a big deal of the fact they are waiting by saying stuff like 'won't be long now and you can go on once this boy has got off'.

Today I was in a large, fairly busy park and I put my Son in the swing. I had only just put him in when a woman went right behind me and said to her daughter 'we will go on once this boy has finished' she then proceeded to stand still, right next to me, with a grumpy face until we took our Son out of the swing'.

It's something I would never ever do. I think it's rude and unnecessary. Standing nearby is different but right next to the person is rude.

If a park is so busy it's necessary to queue for things I suppose that's different, but i'm not talking about parks like that. Just normal parks.

I know I probably am being a bit unreasonable but it's happened a few times now, and it's really getting on my nerves.

I know what you mean op.

Years ago I was pushing dd on the swing and a woman stood next to me (virtually touching my elbow). And started explaining to her daughter that it would be her turn in a moment.
It wasn't the talking to the daughter that pissed me off it was the fact this woman decided to do it while virtually standing on top of me.

I also started a thread on it on aibu - has my ass handed to me but I still maintain IWNBU

Has = I also (Not sure what happened there)

If someone comes and stands next to you in the park why not just begin a conversation?

Why assume they are 'invading your space' or trying to make you feel uncomfortable.

I have had plenty of people come stand next to me while they wait for DS's to finish on the swings and alway end up having a yarn until the go is finished.

Unless someone is tutting/sighing loudly why assume the worst?

So you're still not getting why not every parent feels able to announce their child has additional needs to all and sundry. Yet you think it's unreasonable to cut parents a little slack when there's a chance their behaviour indicates that very thing.
It is unreasonable to expect you to make an assumption. You think the onus is on them not to annoy you when their behaviour is not targeted at you.
Just ignore it and carry on as normal fgs. Nobody's saying make your dc get off immediately.
I fear you will never understand this and that makes me frustrated. However, my turn is up and someone else can have a turn while I tidy the kitchen.

I could have been that parent. We were at a fairly busy park at the. Olympic Park in London today different to any park in our area.
We were catching a train home in a couple of hours and DD had already been on everything else in the park apart from one piece of equipment so we stood and waited until it was free. Next to the piece of equipment, not to intimidate the parent or child but to ensure we were next on it so DD could play before we went home as we had to leave the park.

This is eye opening. I have never thought that parents waiting by equipment and explaining to their children that it'll be their turn soon are passive aggressive or rude.

It seems like someone would need quite a paranoid and uppity mindset to think like that.

If it's busy I'd keep it to 5 minutes max, probably less.

Pearl, do you ever consider what effect it will have on a child, if their parent is forever saying to everyone they meet "I'm sorry, my child is autistic, please be patient, I'm not being passive-aggressive."

I am stunned that you are a teacher and are aware of such needs, yet refuse to consider it is a possibility in public unless the parent makes a point of telling you.

Obviously not

Disablist crap from someone who apparently should know better. A teacher. Shocking

Ok. Some thoughts. It's ok to stand next to equipment if park is v busy or child is very keen to use that piece of equipment. I do this with my son sometimes but hopefully not up someone's arse and will be patient and not make a song and dance.

If there is another piece of equipment free, I try to get him on that. Sometimes it works but if it's something v popular we do just have to wait by it.

I do think five minutes is quite long actually if someone is waiting and a toddler has a short attention span. I'd reckon two minutes is probably ample.

I do sympathise though. I'd hate to feel rushed in the manner you describe and if it's not that busy I don't think ywbu to request politely that they come back I two mins when you've finished

I am not being rude, I'm calling you out. Try reading everyone elses responses to you. They have broken it down for you.

You have repeatedly told me on this thread that you wouldn't alter your behaviour unless I specifically told you my child has SN/explained the reason why I might come across as rude.

So tell me, what exactly is it about a parent stood with a 12 year old, waiting to go on (eg) swings, with the parent having to repeatedly calm and reassure said 12 year old that they wil get a turn, whilst reminding them to wait nicely that doesn't immediately put you in mind of SN?

Do you actually know any NT 12 year olds? Because not many would tolerate being treated like that, and none would need to be.

So please explain why you have repeatedly put the onus on me, in my situation, to highlight to you that my child has SN, rather than you being able to work it out?

@OP

I get you and do not think you are being unreasonable. The hovering parents/guardians are being annoying and rude. The reaction you have encountered here suggests some of the posters are if this ilk.

...are of this ilk

Discrimination

The presumption that everyone is non-disabled is said to encourage environments that are inaccessible to disabled people. It is a system by which mainstream society denigrates, devalues, and thus oppresses those with disabilities, while privileging those without disabilities.