Babies aren't expensive

[ImYourMama]

Hi all, I'm hoping you can help. I'm new to Mumsnet and I'm 22 weeks pregnant with first baby. So far myself and DH have bought everything we can think of she'll need, in the summer sales. We've not paid full price for anything! But I'm worries about costs when she's here.

Everyone says it's so expensive having a baby, but I can't work out what will change aside from buying nappies/wipes and possibly formula if breast feeding isn't successful. We can just about manage on maternity pay and DH's wage if these are the main expenses, but am I missing something? I always thought babies were as expensive as you wanted them to be?

Is it more when they get older?

Please help, I want to be financially ready and I feel like I'm missing something obvious

My experience of family childcare was brilliant. My dad had Ds1 for me and they're still really close now he's 15yo.

Iknow there are horror stories but I refuse to believe that "most" family situations are so bad they can't make this work. Does depend on everyone being reasonable and not too controlling though :-) Also probably best if one person doesn't take the whole burden f-t.

Childcare! When I go back to work I will have to place Junior in nursery and we're looking at payments the equivalent of our mortgage. Making me feel sick tbh.
But everything else clothes etc you can get at reasonable prices. I'm not even thinking about the teen years, I can't even handle it...!

OP I'm sure it will work out fine for you, but what everyone is trying to say is that it 'probably' won't be as straight forward as you imagine, and you might even find you are uncomfortable with how it goes.

My MIL does 1 day per week for us for 'free' but although it doesn't cost us any money it is a right royal pain in the bum. If we have DC2 I won't continue the same arrangement after MAT leave and just stick them in childcare for all of my working days.

The loss of earning will only be massive if you have the potential to earn a massive amount of money without children. In my case, I'd say the loss was modest...

As for the cost of older children, it is actually possible to tell a 10yo that they cannot do a hobby which is too expensive for the family. My dd wanted to do horse riding. Wasn't going to happen. Ditto any sport or hobby which depended on car ownership. Ditto any fads or developing a style which did not chiefly depend on Primark/charity shops/hand-me-downs.

Perhaps the reason I tend to think of the costs as modest is because I live in a less affluent area where very few people even thought of the possibility of affording nursery: it was childminders or family care or parents working around each other's hours.

I found adjusting to the loss of earnings hard the first time. Not having the financial freedom to go and have a coffee or buying a magazine, or replacing a pair of jeans. For a short while I was literally budgeting down to my last pound and prioritising food for my son which was a shock to me. Second time around we adjusted this by saving cash earlier in my pregnancy and by clearing credit cards, and budgeting for oh to contribute more to the account to cover the odd expense like soft play entry, a cinema ticket, cake out. Plus I'd already mentally adjusted how I spent money which made the switch easier.

Babies not particularly, but as mentioned loss of earnings, childcare and babysitting (£6.00 an hour more if you use Sitters) add up! If you are not working and you go to playgroups and buy tea and maybe have lunch with your anti-natal group it adds up!
As they get older, you get to host birthday parties, buy presents for parties your little one goes to, clubs etc. My kids at home both belong to scouts that's about £30.00 each a term, plus extra activities like rafting, sausage sizzle, zoo trips etc...plus uniform. This is about the cheapest club. Daughter is also a brownie which costs about the same again. Both of them are dyslexic so we pay for tutoring as school is not quite cutting it for their issues, this is £30 each a session term-time and we pay using childcare vouchers. They both have swimming lessons and this costs £66.00 a month for both - annoyingly lessons run all year! Daughter also does 2 dance classes at £170.00 a term! I know my two do quite a lot and other children don't do as much so obvs that would be cheaper :0) And like others mention uniform - my 2ndDS starts secondary school (state) in September so far we've spent about £400 on essentials (as in items we must get) and we still have football boots, school shoes, mouth guard etc to buy! Sorry don't mean to scare, but kids are not cheap! Wishing you all the best! :0) xxxxx

I found the nappies and formula expensive when he was born as he was too small for the cloth nappies and I couldn't exclusively breast feed. At almost five though it is shoes, uniforms, clothes, food, toys etc. Will be worse when a teen though.

i joined amazon prime and got all my wipes and nappies delivered once a month, saved me a fortune, also join fb local area selling sites as baby things are usually cheap.

You'll need a whole new set of clothes for the baby every three months. Then there's food when the baby starts weaning, nappies can be extortionate and if your baby is a serial pooper you'll go through hundred. Then there's toys/rockers etc as they get older. As some have mentioned childcare, loss of earnings, maternity pay etc then there's toddlers groups, sensory classes, all depends on how much or little you do with your baby. I have. 6 year old and twin one years olds and they have definitely cost us a not so small fortune. The truth is you don't really know until the baby is here. But it's all worth it!

The first 4 years cost me £45K. And my career. It gets cheaper after that.

Family childcare can be great if you're lucky enough to have the option. Most people don't, just something to be aware of.

Also at the pp who are spending £££ every year on school uniform. My parents bought me 3 (school-specific) shirts and one blazer, plus 1 pe top and 1 pe skirt when I started secondary, and one unbranded jumper. Everything was bought a bit too big on the principle that I would 'grow into it'.

I lost the jumper within a week, and needed new (non-logo) skirts, socks and shoes (oh my god how many pairs of shoes!), but I never did grow into the branded school stuff, so that was a one off cost at age 11. If I still owned it, it would probably be too big for me now. To the parents worried about their children looking smart, I'd say your kids are untucking their shirts, shortening their ties, and wearing non-uniform hoodies over their school shirts the minute your back is turned. If it's not actually broken or too small, don't replace it!

laurab74 can you tell me how this works with Amazon prime, we've just signed up for it and our twins go through millions of nappies!

You can save some childcare/pre schooler entertainment costs by not having a baby in the first week of September (in England anyway).....

If you have an Aldi near you, that's your best bet for nappies.

Woolyheads snap.

The downside to me for family looking after the kids would be the having to take their opinions into account, and the logistics juggling if any carer has an appointment/is ill / wants to go on holiday etc.

By the time the child is eating properly that increases a restaurant bill, activities are also expensive. My daughters ballet lessons cost £70 a term. Then there are the parties and the presents. Nothing is particularly expensive I guess but added together it's a huge chunk of my income I can't spend on my own preferences/ paying off student debt/ saving etc.

I buy 90% of my kids clothes second hand. It still costs me an absolute fortune!

To the parents worried about their children looking smart, I'd say your kids are untucking their shirts

No they don't!! LOL - they are all 'nerds' tucked in shirts long pleated skirts laced flat shoes - it's a tend!!!

We had a 'free baby' only brought the pram everything else was donated to us, give my DS a teaspoon & he thinks it's the best thing ever so don't have to spend fortunes on toys just give them your love & time. we're just at weaning stage which does cost bit more on the weekly shop (make own baby food & freeze but even so) think your right u can make it an expensive affair or not . Congratulations to you!

gooddays- I had " free babies" too. I didn't use a cot, no pushchair, no bottles, no formula, most clothes second hand.

I'm not actually sure how significant. It's easy to think during the pregnancy or first year of a baby's life that this is the end result, you have this bundle of joy, you have given birth, you have this wonderful new infant.

Wrong. This is only the beginning. This baby may be "free" atm, but this is the start of a hopefully happy but very expensive journey costing many many thousands of pounds.
And you won't have any control over this.

I think it's shortsighted to be so self congratulating over how little children cost when your baby is so young.

lapampa My daughters ballet lessons cost £70 a term. £600 a term here!

Oh course your baby thinks a teaspoon is great he's six months old! Eight year olds aren't so impressed when given cutlery to play with.

veryproud- and not just food- it's electricity, water bills, wash up liquid, soap powder, toilet rolls, shower gel. Appliances like washing machines and tumble triers- even carpets duvets household stuff needs to be replaced more frequently, decorating too.