Babies aren't expensive

[ImYourMama]

Hi all, I'm hoping you can help. I'm new to Mumsnet and I'm 22 weeks pregnant with first baby. So far myself and DH have bought everything we can think of she'll need, in the summer sales. We've not paid full price for anything! But I'm worries about costs when she's here.

Everyone says it's so expensive having a baby, but I can't work out what will change aside from buying nappies/wipes and possibly formula if breast feeding isn't successful. We can just about manage on maternity pay and DH's wage if these are the main expenses, but am I missing something? I always thought babies were as expensive as you wanted them to be?

Is it more when they get older?

Please help, I want to be financially ready and I feel like I'm missing something obvious

Anyone find this thread slightly laughable?

Everyone says it's so expensive having a baby, but I can't work out what will change.....Is it more when they get older?

I know you said you're happy and no comments but people will its Mumsnet lol. I would definitely say you should consider using your child's 15 free hours when they get them at Nursery for their development and in prep for school. When my daughter was under 2 I used a childminder for a more homely feel but switched to Nursery after that as I felt that it a better option in terms of her interaction with others and development. I agree with others re consistency.

And housing?

My property cost me an extra £60K to have enough bedrooms for everyone.
If it was just OH and I then we could have bought a smaller place.
That;s a cost too surely? Whether it's house purchase or renting kids at some point need bedrooms.

Someone else said to remember not everyone has free child care....... I agree. May not always be the best thing to shout about.

OP, don't be put off by the family childcare posts. It's true there are often posts on here about it going very wrong, but those of us for whom it works well don't tend to post saying that. I'd feel like a bit of a twat starting a thread saying how great it is that I've not had to use nursery for mine until we felt it would benefit them because I've got family help, and how much money it's saved me etc. That would be twattish when there are people whose childcare bills are nearly breaking them, who would much prefer grandparent care but who don't have any. Whereas I might well start one asking for advice if family care were going tits up.

I would say it tends to work best when the relatives concerned aren't having to do huge amounts. One or two days is less likely to lead to burnout than four or five, although saying that I know someone who's nigh on 70 who has a pre-schooler for 5 (short) days a week. And I recall reading somewhere that the majority of working parents have at least some childcare help from family. Obviously this covers everything from full time to collecting from school one day a week, and some of us are both recipients and providers of in-family childcare, but it does show that there are lots of people making it work.

Don't forget op you can say no to your child. you dont have to spend hundreds of £s on extra curricular activities. Find them something cheaper to do.

pearlylum £600? That's quite an investment. What do you get for that? £70 gets my 4 year old one hour a week. I expect it to just get more expensive though. She's already asking for gymnastics lessons post Olympic watching!

Presumably you can afford it though volleyballmum. Otherwise you'd be out of your mind to commit over £600 a month to one family members hobby if it meant anyone else in the family going without.

I see your point but at any point its getting too expensive for the family to sustain the hobby the parent always has the choice to say no.

I know I would find it hard to say no. My 4 year old does a lot of activities. I wanted her to try lots of things. If she excelled at one and costs mounted, I know I would really struggle to say no. I know I would go without and probably move ridiculous mountains to say yes.

You'll need a whole new set of clothes for the baby every three months. Then there's food when the baby starts weaning, nappies can be extortionate and if your baby is a serial pooper you'll go through hundred. Then there's toys/rockers etc as they get older.

Loads of us have access to 'hand me downs' or charity shop/ebay bargains - I never bought a 'whole set of clothes every three months' - and when your baby starts weaning they really only need a little of whatever you eat, mushed up - baby jars (yes, very convenient but so expensive) are yet another marketing con. Same as buying toys/rockers - none of this is essential - I successfuly avoided ToysRUs and similar revolting toy shops - DS was given toys for birthdays/Christmas and that was more than enough. So many children are spoiled rotten with endless rooms full of junk toys. See all the housework threads - people complaining about how long it takes to clear up toys - much easier to limit them in the first place .

Ragwort you are right loads of people have access to hand me downs but loads of people don't. And OP didn't mention in the post that she was looking to give her child the bare essentials, if that's what op wants then fine but we don't know if she does? Whether it's jars or not you have to buy more food as there is another person in the house. Everyone is going to buy their baby toys. There's only so much time a baby will get out of an empty bottle with dry pasta in it (if op wanted to make her own toys)

Agree that hobbies are expensive in time as well as money, particularly if the child is doing well and competes. We gave up the Irish dancing for dd becuase of the obscene cost of dresses in particular,but also sock, shoes,wigs! Wigs ffs! That was one step too far for me.
We buy Ds huge school shoes ( size 11.5 at 14 years old) at Sports Direct. They are part shoe/part trainer but leather and black so look fine. Reduced from £56 to £ 22 so bargain. White school shirts from Asda, a pack of two for £7.50 so £15 for 4.
Two pairs of black school trousers at £19 a pair, so another £40.
Add socks and boxers,( tie,PE tshirt and schoolbag from last year) and all done for under £100. Blazers are optional and he won't wear one, which is a shame as they look smart, but that would have been another £40 so still coming in at under £150 fully suited and booted. When I compare that to my friends son who goes to Harrow.......

Thank you Ragwort we seem to be on a similar wavelength. For the poster who said this post was laughable- thanks for the support, as a new mum to be I thought Mumsnet was the perfect place to ask this question.

Hobbies etc are good to keep in mind as a big expense but I'll be back at work full time by that point (all being well) so while I'm on maternity leave I can't see much expenditure aside from nappies, wipes and formula if I can't BF.

Thank you all :)

A baby still costs. Yes they eat a bit of foot mushed up. But that's still extra food, not the same food, the adult still wants the same amount of food they always ate, so you cook extra.
Even if you buy from charity shop, you do need new baby clothes every few months. A 6 month old isn't going to fit in newborn sized babygrows.

Oh a we never bough baby swings/ bouncers/ lots of toys or clothes. Both wore reusable nappies and breastfed. They still cost a small fortune

• food not foot!

Artandco where did you pop the baby down so you could cook/wee/answer the door? Or did you get stuff given as a gift?

Erm the floor or sofa or bed. If I answered the door the baby would be in arms likely, to cook they would be on sheepskin rug on floor or in sling or my back. On a pile of towels in bathroom whilst we showered or in bath with us.

We could have bought all those things, I just didn't see the point. The last such a little time and most people have stuff already in home they can use as alternative.