Page 6 | Babies aren't expensive

ImYourMama · 2016-08-11T14:58:11+00:00

Hi all, I'm hoping you can help. I'm new to Mumsnet and I'm 22 weeks pregnant with first baby. So far myself and DH have bought everything we can think of she'll need, in the summer sales. We've not paid full price for anything! But I'm worries about costs when she's here. Everyone says it's so expensive having a baby, but I can't work out what will change aside from buying nappies/wipes and possibly formula if breast feeding isn't successful. We can just about manage on maternity pay and DH's wage if these are the main expenses, but am I missing something? I always thought babies were as expensive as you wanted them to be? Is it more when they get older? Please help, I want to be financially ready and I feel like I'm missing something obvious

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 11/08/2016 20:42

Ds is eating porridge with dates, 2 boiled eggs and milk for breakfast. That keeps him going for...a couple of hours!!

WhooooAmI24601 · 11/08/2016 20:45

Fruit. I might buy shares in fruit farms because they're constantly shouting "do we have apples, who ate all the bananas, where's that watermelon I asked for, did you get strawberries?" and on and on. I spend a huge portion of my income just feeding the gannets. And then they grow out of everything, constanty.

DS1 is 10 and 5'4" already with size 7 feet. He does rugby, swimming, judo, cricket, horse riding, pilates and scouts. When you add in all the kits, uniforms, shoes and tat required, it rockets. DS2 is 5 and does rugby, football, swimming, horse riding and judo. Ditto the costs of kit and he's only just beginning to get into clubs. Another couple of years and he'll probably have added a couple more on to his list as he's very sporty.

I agree that babies aren't necessarily expensive. But the long term investments required for children is huge; you're forever forking out for trips, experiences, clubs, clothes, shoes, holidays, after school clubs, childcare, parties for friends. I don't resent a penny of it but we're in a fortunate position that we can afford for them to do the activities they love as often as they like. If we weren't, it could be a case of having to pick one thing and sacrificing everything else. In that respect I was hugely naive before having DCs and would agree that the long-term costs of running DCs are (or can be) huge.

JaniceBattersby · 11/08/2016 20:45

God, the food bills. I used to spend £35 per week at Aldi. I now have three children (still very young) and I spend £100 per week.

We've also had to buy a bigger HGV car and extend the house and number four is due soon. We had three bedrooms but we need a spare as we love hundreds of miles from family and they visit often. It wasn't really fair to expect four to squash into one bedroom indefinitely, especially as they get older.

I've had to cut down my hours at work substantially but thankfully have very few childcare costs due to clever juggling between me and my husband.

All I all, I reckon they've cost us maybe £100k so far if you include the extension costs.

CakeNinja · 11/08/2016 20:48

Toilet rolls? People eat them. It's the only logical answer.

I will just say, we decided to stick with 3 because we can comfortably afford them and all they entail. Having more would have meant making compromises we weren't prepared to make.

Regarding buying children more expensive brands of trainers/jeans/hair straightners, that's all down to your circumstances, but also managing to raise them so they aren't ungrateful for anything and not to just 'expect' them.
I buy them trainers from sports direct etc for PE and spend no more than about £30. Their nice 'home' trainers cost more and are brands they want because, well, they want them and I can afford it and they can have them. Yes, I could refuse and just buy them cheap ones but they get enjoyment out of having nice things and it makes them happy. I want my children to be happy. Material things isn't the only things to achieve this, and I'm certainly not saying that anyone who doesn't buy their children expensive things on a whim doesn't want them to be happy, but it's definitely one of the things that I can do for them.

Saying that, DD1 just spent £75 of her own money on a pair of trainers that probably won't fit her by Christmas - even she thought this would probably be a waste of money but she bought them anyway!

pleasemothermay1 · 11/08/2016 20:58

midcenturymodern

No I buy boden for the babies 1&3

My son can only get his cloths from big and tall shops find jackamo very cheap and reedy for ds 16

pleasemothermay1 · 11/08/2016 21:04

I think the more you have children that is the less you relise you need the shit I brought for ds1 that I won't be buying for the babies also I was a bit 😷 About buying seconed hand not any more

Even things like Nappies used to buy pampers now I buy wilko nappies

Even clubs my ds attends cadets it's 50p a week he goes twice a week there camping next week 10 days it was only £60

They even get given the uniform I am sure if he took up fencing it would cost a pretty penny but scouts and that will not brake the bank

Artandco · 11/08/2016 21:07

Please - that depend on area. Local beaver and scout group it's £14 a time. Two children, so £28 per session v your 50p/£1.

drspouse · 11/08/2016 21:13

Art £14 per WEEK for Scouts??! Are they taking a salary?? Or do you mean per half term?
I'm a Guide leader and we charge £28/term.

pleasemothermay1 · 11/08/2016 21:14

No my son attends army cadets and it's the same every were its 50p a week

At £14 a time for scouts I would swap to army cadets you even get the uniform free the only thing you buy is the boots

It's fab

The week end camps are usually 10 and my son is even getting to do a BETEC as well as DofE

Artandco · 11/08/2016 21:15

Yes, it's £14 per week, I have the forms at home to sign mine up for beavers soon. I assume it's because the cost of the premises is probably huge here

Artandco · 11/08/2016 21:16

It's beavers, mine are too young for scouts/ army cadets

pleasemothermay1 · 11/08/2016 21:16

Your Scout's Subscription or 'Subs' covers the cost of running our regular meetings and most activities as well as membership of the (national) Scout Association. We make a separate charge for camps, trips away and certain special activities. The Subscription is currently £37.00 per term (we have three terms of approximately 12 weeks each year). Subs are due at the start of each term.
We use a system called Online Scout Manager to manage our online payments. This system is used by hundreds of Scout groups around the country and makes it really easy for you to pay for subs and events online by secure Direct Debit. When your first payment is due you will receive an email with a secure link to use this service.
JOINING FEE
Mereworth & Kings Hill Scout Group charge a one-off Joining Fee of £25.00 when your Scout joins our group. This fee partly covers the cost of the group scarf, the first poloshirt and all badges your Scout receives during their time with our group. You do not have to pay the Joining Fee again when your Scout moves up to a new section.
GIFT AID

This is somthing I got on line

drspouse · 11/08/2016 21:17

Good grief. Even the central London units I used to help with occasionally didn't charge that much. I am surprised they keep going. That is a much more typical half-termly cost in most of the country for Guiding units.

drspouse · 11/08/2016 21:18

Yes £37/term is also fairly typical for Guides.

sunnydayinmay · 11/08/2016 21:20

DS1 (aged 12) told me last week that he isn't planning on having children.

He says it's "not worth the financial risk, as you can't guarantee you'll get the return on the investment".

Says it all, really.

CathFromCooberPedy · 11/08/2016 21:26

OP l guess you got from this thread dc can be cheap as you want to make them!

Dd1 is amazing with clothes, l was able to keep 99.9% of all her clothes from a baby as she just doesn't destroy anything! There is almost 5 years between Dd1 and dd2 and I saved all her clothes and continue to do so.

Dd1 had 2 pairs of Clarke shoes a year until she started school - winter shoes and summer shoes. Now at school she has school shoes from m&s and the rest are cheapies!

Her school uniform was £70 including shoes. I feel sorry for art at £700 for two but that's just the way it is. I'm in London too but those prices are high for State, I'm assuming your dc go private?

5moreminutes · 11/08/2016 21:27

We pay £40 per child per month for Taekwondo (they can go to up to 5 training sessions a week for that but it is the same price regardless whether they go to none at all or 23 in a month).

£37 per child per month for music lessons.

Two do football which locally is cheap but fuel costs mount up due to driving to all the match venues which can be very spread out, plus 3 training sessions per week more locally.

One wants to start golf having done a free taster put on as a free summer holiday activity by the local golf club (golf is ironically cheaper than taekwondo and will be a swap probably)...

No swimming lessons atm but when they were those were £14 per lesson...

As well as fees there are varying equipment costs for each activity.

None of that is essential - except arguably the swimming.

Except that living in the same house as one of the kids in particular if he didn't do vast amounts of sport to burn off a little energy would probably be quite trying for everyone... :o

I think it is ideal to let them try any sport or instrument they take a real interest in (limited by logistics and being sensible about not having too much of a packed schedule) for at least a year in the hope one of each, but especially a sport, "stick" and they continue to have hobbies and interests into teen and adulthood and stay active etc. Its worth a shot anyway!

switswoo81 · 11/08/2016 21:32

Am I the only one who thinks babies are not that cheap. Clothes etc were the cheapest part it's the constant little things. Am currently googling a harness thing to stop her escaping from car seat 35 euro. (2 group 2 car seats 600 euro a few months ago)
Last week was plastic bowls as she had broken all the other ones and dummies as the dummy monster had eaten them.Swimming, toddler group, nappies, wipes (Aldi) , toys, books etc
I had no loss of income as had full pay for 7 months but maternity leave was a killer, coffee and cake out the whole time!

Neaders · 11/08/2016 21:35

Its more the loss of earnings during mat leave... but then you cut your cloth, there is always a way to manage. I started doing weekly sho across multiple stores to get the best bargains... Tesco, then home bargains for washing powder, cleaning material, tinned food.. then lidl for fruit. You have more time when you arent at work.
Whilst i was pregnant, i picked up supplies with my weekly shop while i was still on a ful wage... nappies here, baby wipes there - it all adds up!
Plus when youe LO is born, you wont believe how generous people are! with DD1, i didnt buy her a single stitch till she was about 1!