Babies aren't expensive

[ImYourMama]

Hi all, I'm hoping you can help. I'm new to Mumsnet and I'm 22 weeks pregnant with first baby. So far myself and DH have bought everything we can think of she'll need, in the summer sales. We've not paid full price for anything! But I'm worries about costs when she's here.

Everyone says it's so expensive having a baby, but I can't work out what will change aside from buying nappies/wipes and possibly formula if breast feeding isn't successful. We can just about manage on maternity pay and DH's wage if these are the main expenses, but am I missing something? I always thought babies were as expensive as you wanted them to be?

Is it more when they get older?

Please help, I want to be financially ready and I feel like I'm missing something obvious

Babies aren't expensive ime apart from child care but dear God they hit teenage years and they're a FORTUNE! So basically they get more expensive the older they get.

We have a 2.5 year old DD - like you we got everything in the sale and second hand in advance, so that wasn't too bad. As PP have said it's loss of earnings and childcare really. Apart from being quite spoiled (which is totally our problem!) she's not expensive at all apart from that. When they get bigger, eat you out of house and home etc., I'm sure that changes.

Actually a couple of things to watch out for and maybe budget for in Mat Leave are lunches out with mum friends, this really added up for me but maybe I'm just indulgent. And baby classes. Round here (London) they were £5-10 a pop (music, sensory, swimming etc) and that adds up a lot too. Some were great but some of the best things we did were free at local sure start childrens' centres so look out for them too.

Childcare! Horrendously expensive.

Learn from my experience: if you don't want children to cost too much, don't get them into dancing. If they have a knack for it and enjoy it, it will gladly drain all your wages if you let it.

It's as everyone says - when they are little its the loss of earnings and/ or childcare, other things can be as cheap or expensive as you want.

As they grow shoes can be a bloody massive expense which you can't get second hand usually - one of mine destroys shoes and so cheap shoes (and some expensive ones) only last a couple of weeks - quality hiking trainers are the only thing that actually last and work out worth the money because they are replaced less often, but each pair is expensive. Kids need a lot of shoes... :o

Other things can be expensive but you could just not do them - learning an instrument, playing a sport etc. Shame not to if you can stretch and the child wants to.

If you have one child you might be fine staying in your first home, but housing costs can be part of the expense of having children - couple in a one bed flat are obviously paying far less in rent or mortgage than a family of 5 who, in the UK, will usually want a 3 or 4 bed house, though of course if the children are all the same gender you could make them share a bedroom til they leave home if you really had to....

Yes and food - I dread to think how much I spend just on packed lunch ingredients. Or milk (36- 40 litres of milk per month consumed in this house, mainly by the 3 kids).

Where are you eating Ethel? Most Childrens menus are up to age 12 and were more thN big enough.

Hidden costs:

extra washing
extra detergent
extra cleaning (floors, mattresses...)
throwing food away
cleaning after food
holidays more expensive (if you take any)
hiring any kind of help
loss of sleep --> sleeping pills

www.theguardian.com/money/2011/jul/15/cost-baby-first-year

www.bbc.co.uk/consumer/23421744

and that's just in the first year.

The "more than big enough" thing is a segway into judging anyone who needs more than a chicken nuget and a carrot stick to satisfy their appetite isn't it? Plus the choices on children's menus in many places are rubbish like chicken nuggets, which not every ten year old wants to eat while the rest of the table tucks into something that is actually tasty...

AndNow I have a dd who has eaten an adult meal since she was about 10.
I have a 10 year old now who still eats from a children's menu sometimes depending on where we are.
Their appetites are all different!

Teenagers have been the most expensive. However that's because I chose to allow them to have a lot of expensive clothes , expensive hobbies ( both play ice hockey ) Tickets for gigs cost a fortune, holidays are expensive. I have paid for cars and driving lessons etc.

I know that I didn't have to do that and I could have saved a fortune. Our choice and we could have done it cheaper.

we have a family holiday venue in the UK we can use anytime for free and family are sharing child care

Free childcare and free holidays will help soften the blow somewhat!

I agree that they get increasingly expensive as they grow. When we had two teens at home our food bill, in fact all our bills, were huge. Both girls have left home now and we still laugh at how little we spend on a week's food shopping for just the two of us.

Babies are expensive. For me, it was the loss of many years of my wages which was the biggest expense. Clothes are not too bad. Get second hand stuff and wash first. But get a brand new mattress.
Nappies, formula, 4x4 tractor style buggies are pricey

Exactly 5, my little Ds is more than happy to be palmed off with a crappy bolognaise from pizza express but both dds eat an adults pizza there - have you seen the size of their children's pizzas?! Even with the dough ball starter and a pudding it's not big enough for my growing preteens!
And i definitely agree that in some places, the children's menu really is just shit. Xx and chips, repeated all the way down.
I prefer places that don't even advertise a children's menu tbh!

Yes id say children are expensive but obviously worth it.
Fancying in as pp have said childcare cost, loss of earnings, extra cost on meals out. I pay for clubs such as swimming, dance, school often want money for something, shoes, clothes, furniture and bigger bed when she got older. Days out , extra ticket for he cinema.

Dd was poorly and I spent £24 in boots then went to waitrose as was in hurry to get home as she was poorly to get fresh fruit for her etc and that was another £20

But all totally worth it.

We had to put off having a baby for a last few years despite DH and I both desperately wanting to start a family. We could afford all the baby stuff and factoring in just general day to day expenses as they got older would be fine too; it's the maternity/paternity leave and the childcare costs that would cripple us. With day to day costs, I think if you find you have a few extra things to spend money on you'll be just fine (and as others have said, there'll be other things you don't spend as much on; I know we'll save a fortune on going to the pub if and when we do have DC!).

If you have free childcare you're right, you'll be cutting out the main expense that you could feasibly have in the first few years, you sound like you've got everything sorted to me

Does really annoy me when people say 'just have one you'll be fine' though, because without my wage, or if we were paying for childcare, we literally wouldn't have been able to make ends meet. If we made any other big financial decision (like buying a car, house, going on holiday etc etc) the same people would be telling us not to be silly and that we couldn't afford it!

It's the childcare and lost of income as main factors

later on things like a bigger home or car etc

School age is definatley more expensive. My 2 have only just started school. Uniform and school shoes for both were £700+ by the time they had all the essential school branded school uniform including school Blazers etc that's are all compulsory and three pairs of shoes each ( smart, trainer and plimsolls needed).

They also eat more. We will have fish tonight. Gone are the two babies that would share a bit of Dh and I fish. So that's 4 pieces of sea bass. A bunch of bananas now lasts approx 3.3 seconds before they are hoovered up.

We do past clothes on and they share stuff and buy less than many. But the costs that can't really be reduced are quiet high. Things like school trips and similar also.

Like the first poster, childcare and/or loss of earnings is a massive expense IMO.

I agree re the children's menus. Often the portion sizes are large enough that I'd have plenty to eat but the choice is rubbish. I'm not going to insist my foodie 10yo chooses between chicken nuggets or hot dog while the rest of use have the run of the whole menu..

I'd say car /car seats the shear amount of shoes - Welles trainers sanders school shoes - all types of clothes that need replacing every year summer winter /coats/raincoats/

More rooms if you have more so bigger house

Hobbies - which get dropped /technology /pets

Days out - theme park tickets or theatre

School uniform, plus all the money they ask for at short notice - cakes or trips

Holidays - which aren't really holidays for parents (!)

I think it depends somewhat on whether you get used to paying for childcare for preschoolers (which it sounds like won't be an issue for you!) If you are then that's a massive, massive saving once they go to school that will buy a fair few toys and clothes. If on the other hand you've been not working or part-time working then once they're in school you don't experience the same uplift unless you start working more. We're a long way from the teenage years but it's hard to believe that when they come we'll be spending more than the current cost of childcare on DS every month - my parents certainly didn't do that for us!

For us it has been my not being able to return to work.

It's the shoes which is a killer once they get past the toddler stage.

My son needs
Slippers
Pe trainers
School shoes
Football boots
Smart shoes
Trainers for home
Sandals
Wellies

My dd
Slippers
Party shoes
Pe shoes
School shoes
Ballet shoes
Sandals
Trainers for home
Wellies

I'm amazed at these £700+ uniforms, surely that's for a private school? I thought all the supermarkets did uniform for £20 all in?! Where is this cost coming from

Teenage boys cost a fortune.
Clothes (no more hand me downs and they can be fussy about brands)
Haircuts
Phones
Phone bills
other tech stuff
sports and sport clothes and equipment
Car insurance (I won't frighten you)
and HUGE food bills.

Mine all have part time jobs but still need more than they can possibly fund themselves.