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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just got kicked off a Facebook group....was I unreasonable?

226 replies

mrgrouper · 11/08/2016 11:27

I was on a teacher training group (the one where I posted an AIBU about the trainee who could not add a quarter and a half).
Most of the posts are, IMO, a bit vacuous. Fashion advice for trainees etc
Anyway one woman posted a photo of her new £34 planner last night with the caption "look at my £34 planner...cannot wait until September soooo excited!" and I posted "can people just stop bragging off". I was then dogpiled by a load of women who are soooo excited to start their training, so I blocked them and then got booted.
I think the main issue is I am not "soooo excited" about September. It looks like bloody hard work. I am looking forward to it, but not exactly doing cartwheels over all the hard graft I am going to have to put in.
Perhaps it is because I am older than the other trainees at 40. I dunno. Perhaps I am just a miserable grump.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 11/08/2016 17:31

Bragging off?Confused

toadgirl · 11/08/2016 18:36

I had a Jammie Dodger earlier but now I want more

Ironic really, given their name, when you think about it - they are very hard to dodge.

grannytomine · 11/08/2016 18:42

Well you are probably nearly twice her age. Probably unreasonable to be in the group to start with. They are young and excited, you are older and less excited. Can't you find some older trainees?

Yes it will be a hard year. My DD is a teacher, she was talking about what she has got to do before term starts, her 5th year as a teacher. I reminded her of preparing for her first lesson, I think it took her about five days. Don't know how she'd have survived if it had carried on like that.

UmbongoUnchained · 11/08/2016 18:57

I seriously hope OP isn't going into secondary school teaching. They won't last 5 minutes with that attitude!

CatsNOwls · 12/08/2016 18:11

Late to the party but... I feel you on the trainees who can't do basic maths! It annoys me to no end!

If it's a problem where you need to do it in a specific order, then fine, that's more a problem with knowing the order and just needs a little research but when it's like "I can't do this problem, how do I share £600 between 30 students!" or the basic addition school bus ones "A trip costs x for bus, y for food, z for tickets, there are 30 students, how much in total?".

I don't understand the bragging about fashion and planners though? Seems a bit inane. I mean, I'm excited about my planner sure (£1 and decorated with star stickers Blush ) but showing it off to other trainees and teachers, and importantly how much it costs? Isn't it a bit faux pas to take about how much you spent on it anyway? (at least in that setting???).

@grannytomine - Yes, all the younger teachers are soooo much more excitable. Hmm I'm the youngest on my course coming in at 22. Pretty sure it's to do with the person, not their age.

CatsNOwls · 12/08/2016 18:25

Should probably add, I'm really excited because it means I can jump off and get stuck into what I want to do with my life but there is a difference (at least in my eyes) between excited and looking forward/proper preparing (making sure you have what you need, mentally and physically) and Soooo excited (as in, I want to shove my excitement in everyone's face).

Yes, I have times of "Oh my God! I'm going to be a teacher! Finally!" but I tend to keep that to my immediate friends or groups of trainee friends I've made and not in an open forum of trainee teachers.

pollymere · 12/08/2016 18:32

They sounded terrible. Don't be sad. Just be grateful that you've realized that teaching is not about expensive planners! :)

gemma19846 · 12/08/2016 18:37

You sound like abit of a misery guts and that the thought of being a teacher pisses you off already. Maybe it isnt the right career for you :/ If thats annoyed you already how do you plan on coping with 30+ children every day :/

SemiNormal · 12/08/2016 18:48

YABU - you were rude for absolutely no reason, no wonder you were booted, you could easily have skipped the post but instead you chose to deliberately be nasty and probably hurt the poor girls feelings.

monstiebags · 12/08/2016 18:55

Hi i was in that same group and as an older person like yourself found the vacuous postings intolerable. I am not grumpy and i am excited but the way these kids are carrying on about planners, bags and wardrobe, seriously, I give them 6 weeks.
YANBU

TopazRocks · 12/08/2016 19:02

Never be rude about stationery. Just that!!

spidey66 · 12/08/2016 19:02

When I did my nurse training (lots of years back) I remember being all squeaky-keen while the qualifieds I drank with up the hospital social club were less so. Now I'm sat where they were (not literally, as neither the hospital nor the social club exist any more) I'm just as jaded and cynical. I still wouldn't rain on students' parades though.

HedgehogHedgehog · 12/08/2016 19:04

yeah thats pretty rude and miserable. YABU

pictish · 12/08/2016 19:06

Is stationery something you brag about anyway? I think you can only enthuse about it. It's not status defining - just a matter of personal taste and purpose.
You might have said, "Can people just stop enthusing over stationery" which would have similarly defined you as a chippy mare, but might not have got you booted off.

I love a bit of stationery me.

Waltermittythesequel · 12/08/2016 19:31

You were rude and mean for no good reason.

I personally like the idea of people being enthusiastic about educating children, since I have children in the education system.

PansOnFire · 12/08/2016 19:47

OP, you're realistic but also appear very pessimistic about the whole thing. It's usual to have a bit of a wobble at the thought of something daunting but some people deal with it in different ways ie. Buying stupid stationery which costs a fortune, it's a bit like a safety blanket which I've bought loads of in the past.

You don't have to join the groups of 'new starters', I'm fairly young but quite an experienced teacher but I tend to get put in with the nqts in my new school. They're very excited and enthusiastic, it's slightly irritating but then it reminds me of the enthusiasm I used to have and it resets me into being more focused.

This is the part of your career where you should be brimming with nerves and excitement. This is the feeling you will always remember once you become an experienced and bitter teacher in the next few years. When I tell myself I'm quitting it's the reminiscing about my early days that keeps me going.

Now, I love stationery so I'm telling you YABU for not appreciating the planner. But, YANBU for being a bit sick of all the gushing as it seems to be making you nervous. Apologise for being harsh with the group and then leave it there. Another thing about teachers is that everyone becomes connected in some way, you need to be careful who you piss off.

Redsrule · 12/08/2016 19:58

In every school I have ever worked in, the July day that people are issued with their new planners and diaries is always a good day! And then when timetables came out there is a lot of serious colour coding going on!

Additionally teaching is a job where you spend a lot of time suppressing a yawn at other peoples' enthusiasms. PGCE/ NQT years are almost impossible to get through without the support of your peers. I think you should start to try and build some bridges.

DeathpunchDoris · 12/08/2016 20:07

Facebook is the worst thing ever. Delete yourself , move on and enjoy real life. Good luck in September.

VaginaJones · 12/08/2016 20:11

For friendly informal groups on social media always best to apply the rule that If you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything at all....Smile

VaginaJones · 12/08/2016 20:14

Also if you're feeling this pessimistic about teaching already, I can't imagine how miserable you'll be by Christmas Grin

Cloudylemons · 12/08/2016 20:16

Sorry to ignore the point of this post, but please could someone tell me what sort of planner would be best to buy as a gift? It doesn't need to cost £30 though! It's for someone starting their PGCE in September. Smile

CattyMcCatface · 12/08/2016 20:24

Don't worry about it. That person will not be "soooo excited" at the end of December, guaranteed.

Jaimx86 · 12/08/2016 20:30

Can't understand how young people would want a paper planner??

Ditsy4 · 12/08/2016 20:37

Re chickenowner page 1
Ignore this it is bloody hard work and some of the people that worry about what they are wearing and things like planning boards for £34 are the ones that struggle. You have you head on right? It will be really hard slog for the year and beyond. I don't do social media...Facebook for this reason and lots of teaching staff don't. So see it as a good thing. You won't have time. Make a friend of the TA cos they know where everything is. Don't be frightened to ask advice. Don't leave your planning until the last minute. Good luck.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 12/08/2016 20:40

Is it completely the wrong time for me to say I bought THREE level arch files today? A yellow one, a light blue one and a yellow one.

I start an Access to HE course next month - long-term plan being teaching!

I am going stationery bonkers. I'm just glad that I no longer live near a branch of Paperchase or I'd have no money left at all.

I am salivating at the thought of £34 planner.